So I few months back I wrote about my new-found interest in Public Relations. I was so excited to have finally found something that interested me that also had the possibility of a stable future. And being that I'm an English Literature major, the stable interests seem to be few and far between, which made PR all the more appealing.
Wanting to know anything and everything I could about the field, I dove in head-first; taking Q&A interviews left and right and applying for as many internships as I could find. Not a bad approach, I have to admit. If nothing else, it provided me the opportunity to really research the topic and see if it would be the right fit.
Alas, it was not. I learned that, as much as I enjoy having a blog and using social media sites, I do not want the list of sites I regularly visit to be a part of my resume. Sharing them with a group of strangers during a recent interview left me feeling over-exposed and vulnerable in a way that I did not care for. That incident - among a few others - showed me, in no uncertain terms, that PR is not right for me.
So I continue to search. There are few topics of interest that I'm pursuing - and none of them require the list of social media sites I regulate to be part of my resume.
June 20, 2010
March 25, 2010
March 23, 2010
Another Internship
A few months ago I did an internship with Paradigm Communications Group - the people who bring you Alaska Air and Horizon Air Magazines. Today I received a phone call from Email Broadcast - a company that does PR work for other companies. They have an internship opening that I applied for last week and they've asked me to come in and interview.
I'm nervous and excited!
I'm nervous and excited!
March 22, 2010
Can You Believe It?
I had my second Q&A interview today with a Public Relations rep today. I'm trying to meet as many people in the field as I can in an effort to learn more about it and, of course, make contacts that might lead to a future job.
Ever since my Communications and Media class introduced me to the importance of writing in the PR industry, I've sought out to learn more about it. You know, being an English major, I often get asked, "what do you plan on doing with your degree?" I just never expected my answer to be PR. But the more I learn about it, the more I get excited about my future in the field.
My first interview was with someone in the cruise industry. Today's was with someone in insurance. As different as their tasks seem to be, there were a lot of similarities too. For instance, both companies are starting to focus on social media. The second, is that both people mentioned how fast-paced, challenging and how varied the work is. Both of those excite me.
Because I've been inspired by these interviews and found their advice relevant and helpful, I have decided to pick back up with my blog. If my goal is to work in PR and focus on social media, I should practice what I preach and focus more time on the social media that I'm already a part of.
Is it possible that I've found my career? All signs point to yes. My next step is to continue to meet as many people in PR as possible to ask questions and network. I've never had the desire to do so much work for a potential job/career. I must really want this!
Ever since my Communications and Media class introduced me to the importance of writing in the PR industry, I've sought out to learn more about it. You know, being an English major, I often get asked, "what do you plan on doing with your degree?" I just never expected my answer to be PR. But the more I learn about it, the more I get excited about my future in the field.
My first interview was with someone in the cruise industry. Today's was with someone in insurance. As different as their tasks seem to be, there were a lot of similarities too. For instance, both companies are starting to focus on social media. The second, is that both people mentioned how fast-paced, challenging and how varied the work is. Both of those excite me.
Because I've been inspired by these interviews and found their advice relevant and helpful, I have decided to pick back up with my blog. If my goal is to work in PR and focus on social media, I should practice what I preach and focus more time on the social media that I'm already a part of.
Is it possible that I've found my career? All signs point to yes. My next step is to continue to meet as many people in PR as possible to ask questions and network. I've never had the desire to do so much work for a potential job/career. I must really want this!
August 25, 2009
Did You Know?
I recently wrote a research paper for my Politics and Culture class on the influence that Marijuana has on current California politics and I came across this interesting time-line. Thought I'd share:
Cannabis Chronology [Edited]
• 2737 BC: Cannabis referred to as a "superior" herb in the world's first medical text, or pharmacopoeia, Shen Nung's Pen Ts'ao, in China
• 1400 BC : Cultural and religious use of ganga or cannabis, and charas or hashish (resin) recorded used by Hindus in India.
• 300 BC : Carthage and Rome struggle for political and commercial power over hemp and spice trade routes in the Mediterranean.
• 70 BC : Roman Emperor Nero's surgeon, Dioscorides, praises cannabis for making the stoutest cords and for its medicinal properties.
• 100 AD : Roman surgeon Dioscorides names the plant cannabis sativa and describes various medicinal uses. Pliny reported of industrial uses and wrote a manual on farming hemp.
• 400 AD : Cannabis cultivated for the first time in the UK at Old Buckenham Mere
• 800 AD : Mohammed allows cannabis but forbids the use of alcohol.
• 1000 AD : The English word "hempe" first listed in a dictionary. Moslems produce hashish medicine and social use.
• 1150 AD : Moslems use hemp to start Europe's first paper mill. Most of the paper is made from hemp for the next 750 years, including Bibles.
• 1563 AD : English Queen Elizabeth I decrees that land owners with more than 60 acres must grow hemp or be fined 5 pounds.
• 1611 AD : The British start growing cannabis in Virginia.
• 1621 AD : Burton's The Anatomy of Melancholy claims cannabis is a treatment for depression.
• 1631 AD : Hemp used as money throughout American colonies.
• 1632 AD : The Pilgrims take cannabis to New England.
• 1763 AD : New English Dictionary says cannabis root applied to skin eases inflammation.
• 1776 AD : Declaration of Independence drafted on hemp paper.
• 1839 AD : Homeopathy journal 'American Provers' Union' publishes first report on effects of cannabis.
• 1845 AD : Psychologist and inventor of modern psychopharmacology and psychotomimetric drug treatment, Jacques-Joseph Moreau de Tours documents physical and mental benefits of cannabis.
• 1860 AD : First governmental commission study of cannabis and hashish conducted by Ohio State Medical Society. It catalogues the conditions for which cannabis is beneficial: neuralgia, nervous rheumatism, mania, whooping cough, asthma, chronic bronchitis, muscular spasms, epilepsy, infantile convulsions, palsy, uterine haemorrhage, dysmenorrhea, hysteria, alcohol withdrawal and loss of appetite.
• 1870 AD : Cannabis listed in US Pharmacopoeia as a medicine.
• 1894 AD : British Indian Hemp Drugs Commission studies social use of cannabis and comes out firmly against its prohibition.
• 1910 AD : African-American "reefer" use reported in Jazz Clubs in New Orleans, said to be influencing white people. Mexicans smoking marijuana in Texas. South Africa prohibits cannabis.
• 1912 AD : "Essay on Hasheesh" by Victor Rolson. Possibilities of putting controls on cannabis use is first raised.
• 1912 AD : Hague Conference; second international meeting on drugs. 46 nations discuss opium, morphine, cocaine, heroin and cannabis. The Hague Convention for the Suppression of Opium and Other Drugs, was drawn up, requiring parties to confine to medical and legitimate purposes the manufacture, sale and use of opium, heroin, morphine and cocaine; Cannabis was not included. (From Mandeson, D. From Mr Sin to Mr Big, A history of Australian Drug Laws, Oxford University Press Melbourne 1995)
• 1919 AD : Texas outlaws cannabis. Alcohol is prohibited throughout the USA. Cannabis is still legal in most States.
• 1928 AD : UK Dangerous Drugs Act (September 28th) 1925 becomes law and makes cannabis illegal.
• 1929 AD : The Panama Canal Zone Report concludes that there is no evidence that cannabis use is habit-forming or deleterious, recommending no action be taken against cannabis use or sale.
• 1930 AD : Henry Ford makes his motor cars out of hemp with hemp paint and hemp fuel. New machines invented to break hemp, process the fibre and convert the pulp or hurds into paper, plastics etc. 1200 hash bars in New York City. Racist fears of Mexicans, Asians and African-Americans lead the cry for cannabis to be outlawed.
• 1937 AD : Marijuana Tax Act forbids hemp farming. The Act was based on the Machine Gun Transfer Act which made it illegal to pass on machine guns without a government stamp - there being no such stamps available. By applying this strategy to marijuana, Anslinger was able to effectively ban hemp without contravening constitutional rights.
• 1937 AD : DuPont files patents for nylon, plastics and a new bleaching process for paper. Anslinger testifies to congress that Marijuana is the most violence-causing drug known to man. The objections of the American Medical Association are ignored. The Marijuana Transfer Tax Bill (14th April) introduced to US House, Ways and Means Committee, passed December, prohibits industrial and medical uses and calls flowering tops a narcotic. Violations attract 200 dollar fines. Birdseed, rope and cordage are exempted from tax.
• 1937 AD : DuPont patents plastics, seizing the opportunity created by cannabis hemp prohibition
• 1941 AD : Cannabis dropped from USA Pharmacopoeia
• 1943 AD : Hemp for Victory program urges farmers to grow hemp to help war effort.
• 1943 AD : US Military Surgeon magazine declares that smoking cannabis is no more harmful than smoking tobacco.
• 1944 AD : Anslinger threatens doctors who carry out cannabis research with imprisonment.
• 1945 AD : USA 'Newsweek' reports over 100,000 Americans use cannabis.
• 1955 AD : Hemp farming outlawed again.
• 1970 AD : Social use of cannabis receives widespread acceptance despite illegality; policy of decriminalisation sweeps across USA and Britain.
• 1970 AD : LeDain Report (Canada) recommended that serious consideration be given to the legalisation of personal possession of marijuana. It finds that cannabis use increases self-confidence, feelings of creativity and sensual awareness, facilitates concentration and self-acceptance, reduces tension, hostility and aggression and may produce psychological but not physical dependence. The report recommends that possession laws be repealed
• 1970 AD : R. Keith Stroup founds NORML 'National Organisation for Reform of Marijuana Laws', in UDSA.
•1992 AD : USA Jim Montgomery, a paraplegic who smoked cannabis to relieve muscle spasm, busted for two ounces of marijuana in Oklahoma, arrested and sentenced to life plus 16 years.
•1993 AD : German High Court in Kruhe rules that cannabis prohibition is unconstitutional.
•1995 AD : November 11 : British journal of the medical profession, The Lancet, states that "The smoking of cannabis, even long term, is not harmful to health".
• 1995 AD : Henrion Commission Report, the official French State Commission in charge of drug policy supports decriminalisation of cannabis and calls for a two-year trial period of regulated retail trade in cannabis. The French Government reject these proposals.
•1996 AD : Ireland announces their plans to use cannabis as fuel to replace the use of the dwindling supplies of peat
•1996 AD : California and Arizona pass Propositions allowing the use of cannabis in the treatment of certain illnesses, Clinton is re-elected and the FBI threaten Doctors with prosecution.
•1996 AD : A Swiss man, Zimmermann, is given a life sentence in the Maldives, for importing three cannabis seeds, found in his luggage as he flew in from India.
•1997 AD : An 8-year study at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) School of Medicine, concluded that long-term smokers of cannabis do not experience a greater annual decline in lung functions than non-smokers. Researchers said: "Findings from the present long-term follow-up study of heavy, habitual marijuana smokers argue against the concept that the continuing heavy use of marijuana is a significant factor for the development of [chronic lung disease]"."No difference were noted between even quite heavy marijuana smoking and non-smoking of marijuana." Volume 155 of the American Journal of Respiratory and Clinical Care Medicine 1997
•1997 AD : January16 : A court in Texas, USA, sentences medical marijuana user, William J. Foster to 93 years imprisonment for cultivation of one plant.
•1997 AD : After appeals for clemency from the Swiss Government and letters from CLCIA supporters, the Maldives releases Zimmermann, the man given life for three seeds.
•1997 AD : The Kaiser Permanente Study (USA) - "Marijuana Use and Mortality" April 1997 American Journal of Public Health concludes "Relatively few adverse clinical effects from the chronic use of marijuana have been documented in humans. However, the criminalization of marijuana use may itself be a health hazard, since it may expose the users to violence and criminal activity."
•1999 AD : February 23: UK: 55-year-old arthritis sufferer jailed for one year for using cannabis to relieve his pain
•1999 AD : March 4 : ALASKA: Medical Marijuana Law Starts
•2000 AD: December 22: CANADA: Legal Marijuana Operation Opens
•2002 AD: December: US Study Defies Gateway Theory That Cannabis Use Leads To Use Of Hard Drugs.
•2007 AD: April: Harvard university study shows that Delta-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the active ingredient in marijuana, cuts tumour growth in common lung cancer in half and significantly reduces the ability of the cancer to spread
•2008 AD: Medical marijuana vending machines take root in Los Angeles. The DEA is not amused.
•2008 AD: May : UK government announces cannabis will be upgraded from class C to Class B. Its scientific experts, the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, recommend cannabis should remain class C.
•2009 AD: May : Marijuana in California is now "available as a medical treatment in California to almost anyone who tells a willing physician he would feel better if he smoked." (Washington Post)
(to be continued.....)
~http://www.cannabis.org.uk/marijuana-timeline.html
Cannabis Chronology [Edited]
• 2737 BC: Cannabis referred to as a "superior" herb in the world's first medical text, or pharmacopoeia, Shen Nung's Pen Ts'ao, in China
• 1400 BC : Cultural and religious use of ganga or cannabis, and charas or hashish (resin) recorded used by Hindus in India.
• 300 BC : Carthage and Rome struggle for political and commercial power over hemp and spice trade routes in the Mediterranean.
• 70 BC : Roman Emperor Nero's surgeon, Dioscorides, praises cannabis for making the stoutest cords and for its medicinal properties.
• 100 AD : Roman surgeon Dioscorides names the plant cannabis sativa and describes various medicinal uses. Pliny reported of industrial uses and wrote a manual on farming hemp.
• 400 AD : Cannabis cultivated for the first time in the UK at Old Buckenham Mere
• 800 AD : Mohammed allows cannabis but forbids the use of alcohol.
• 1000 AD : The English word "hempe" first listed in a dictionary. Moslems produce hashish medicine and social use.
• 1150 AD : Moslems use hemp to start Europe's first paper mill. Most of the paper is made from hemp for the next 750 years, including Bibles.
• 1563 AD : English Queen Elizabeth I decrees that land owners with more than 60 acres must grow hemp or be fined 5 pounds.
• 1611 AD : The British start growing cannabis in Virginia.
• 1621 AD : Burton's The Anatomy of Melancholy claims cannabis is a treatment for depression.
• 1631 AD : Hemp used as money throughout American colonies.
• 1632 AD : The Pilgrims take cannabis to New England.
• 1763 AD : New English Dictionary says cannabis root applied to skin eases inflammation.
• 1776 AD : Declaration of Independence drafted on hemp paper.
• 1839 AD : Homeopathy journal 'American Provers' Union' publishes first report on effects of cannabis.
• 1845 AD : Psychologist and inventor of modern psychopharmacology and psychotomimetric drug treatment, Jacques-Joseph Moreau de Tours documents physical and mental benefits of cannabis.
• 1860 AD : First governmental commission study of cannabis and hashish conducted by Ohio State Medical Society. It catalogues the conditions for which cannabis is beneficial: neuralgia, nervous rheumatism, mania, whooping cough, asthma, chronic bronchitis, muscular spasms, epilepsy, infantile convulsions, palsy, uterine haemorrhage, dysmenorrhea, hysteria, alcohol withdrawal and loss of appetite.
• 1870 AD : Cannabis listed in US Pharmacopoeia as a medicine.
• 1894 AD : British Indian Hemp Drugs Commission studies social use of cannabis and comes out firmly against its prohibition.
• 1910 AD : African-American "reefer" use reported in Jazz Clubs in New Orleans, said to be influencing white people. Mexicans smoking marijuana in Texas. South Africa prohibits cannabis.
• 1912 AD : "Essay on Hasheesh" by Victor Rolson. Possibilities of putting controls on cannabis use is first raised.
• 1912 AD : Hague Conference; second international meeting on drugs. 46 nations discuss opium, morphine, cocaine, heroin and cannabis. The Hague Convention for the Suppression of Opium and Other Drugs, was drawn up, requiring parties to confine to medical and legitimate purposes the manufacture, sale and use of opium, heroin, morphine and cocaine; Cannabis was not included. (From Mandeson, D. From Mr Sin to Mr Big, A history of Australian Drug Laws, Oxford University Press Melbourne 1995)
• 1919 AD : Texas outlaws cannabis. Alcohol is prohibited throughout the USA. Cannabis is still legal in most States.
• 1928 AD : UK Dangerous Drugs Act (September 28th) 1925 becomes law and makes cannabis illegal.
• 1929 AD : The Panama Canal Zone Report concludes that there is no evidence that cannabis use is habit-forming or deleterious, recommending no action be taken against cannabis use or sale.
• 1930 AD : Henry Ford makes his motor cars out of hemp with hemp paint and hemp fuel. New machines invented to break hemp, process the fibre and convert the pulp or hurds into paper, plastics etc. 1200 hash bars in New York City. Racist fears of Mexicans, Asians and African-Americans lead the cry for cannabis to be outlawed.
• 1937 AD : Marijuana Tax Act forbids hemp farming. The Act was based on the Machine Gun Transfer Act which made it illegal to pass on machine guns without a government stamp - there being no such stamps available. By applying this strategy to marijuana, Anslinger was able to effectively ban hemp without contravening constitutional rights.
• 1937 AD : DuPont files patents for nylon, plastics and a new bleaching process for paper. Anslinger testifies to congress that Marijuana is the most violence-causing drug known to man. The objections of the American Medical Association are ignored. The Marijuana Transfer Tax Bill (14th April) introduced to US House, Ways and Means Committee, passed December, prohibits industrial and medical uses and calls flowering tops a narcotic. Violations attract 200 dollar fines. Birdseed, rope and cordage are exempted from tax.
• 1937 AD : DuPont patents plastics, seizing the opportunity created by cannabis hemp prohibition
• 1941 AD : Cannabis dropped from USA Pharmacopoeia
• 1943 AD : Hemp for Victory program urges farmers to grow hemp to help war effort.
• 1943 AD : US Military Surgeon magazine declares that smoking cannabis is no more harmful than smoking tobacco.
• 1944 AD : Anslinger threatens doctors who carry out cannabis research with imprisonment.
• 1945 AD : USA 'Newsweek' reports over 100,000 Americans use cannabis.
• 1955 AD : Hemp farming outlawed again.
• 1970 AD : Social use of cannabis receives widespread acceptance despite illegality; policy of decriminalisation sweeps across USA and Britain.
• 1970 AD : LeDain Report (Canada) recommended that serious consideration be given to the legalisation of personal possession of marijuana. It finds that cannabis use increases self-confidence, feelings of creativity and sensual awareness, facilitates concentration and self-acceptance, reduces tension, hostility and aggression and may produce psychological but not physical dependence. The report recommends that possession laws be repealed
• 1970 AD : R. Keith Stroup founds NORML 'National Organisation for Reform of Marijuana Laws', in UDSA.
•1992 AD : USA Jim Montgomery, a paraplegic who smoked cannabis to relieve muscle spasm, busted for two ounces of marijuana in Oklahoma, arrested and sentenced to life plus 16 years.
•1993 AD : German High Court in Kruhe rules that cannabis prohibition is unconstitutional.
•1995 AD : November 11 : British journal of the medical profession, The Lancet, states that "The smoking of cannabis, even long term, is not harmful to health".
• 1995 AD : Henrion Commission Report, the official French State Commission in charge of drug policy supports decriminalisation of cannabis and calls for a two-year trial period of regulated retail trade in cannabis. The French Government reject these proposals.
•1996 AD : Ireland announces their plans to use cannabis as fuel to replace the use of the dwindling supplies of peat
•1996 AD : California and Arizona pass Propositions allowing the use of cannabis in the treatment of certain illnesses, Clinton is re-elected and the FBI threaten Doctors with prosecution.
•1996 AD : A Swiss man, Zimmermann, is given a life sentence in the Maldives, for importing three cannabis seeds, found in his luggage as he flew in from India.
•1997 AD : An 8-year study at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) School of Medicine, concluded that long-term smokers of cannabis do not experience a greater annual decline in lung functions than non-smokers. Researchers said: "Findings from the present long-term follow-up study of heavy, habitual marijuana smokers argue against the concept that the continuing heavy use of marijuana is a significant factor for the development of [chronic lung disease]"."No difference were noted between even quite heavy marijuana smoking and non-smoking of marijuana." Volume 155 of the American Journal of Respiratory and Clinical Care Medicine 1997
•1997 AD : January16 : A court in Texas, USA, sentences medical marijuana user, William J. Foster to 93 years imprisonment for cultivation of one plant.
•1997 AD : After appeals for clemency from the Swiss Government and letters from CLCIA supporters, the Maldives releases Zimmermann, the man given life for three seeds.
•1997 AD : The Kaiser Permanente Study (USA) - "Marijuana Use and Mortality" April 1997 American Journal of Public Health concludes "Relatively few adverse clinical effects from the chronic use of marijuana have been documented in humans. However, the criminalization of marijuana use may itself be a health hazard, since it may expose the users to violence and criminal activity."
•1999 AD : February 23: UK: 55-year-old arthritis sufferer jailed for one year for using cannabis to relieve his pain
•1999 AD : March 4 : ALASKA: Medical Marijuana Law Starts
•2000 AD: December 22: CANADA: Legal Marijuana Operation Opens
•2002 AD: December: US Study Defies Gateway Theory That Cannabis Use Leads To Use Of Hard Drugs.
•2007 AD: April: Harvard university study shows that Delta-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the active ingredient in marijuana, cuts tumour growth in common lung cancer in half and significantly reduces the ability of the cancer to spread
•2008 AD: Medical marijuana vending machines take root in Los Angeles. The DEA is not amused.
•2008 AD: May : UK government announces cannabis will be upgraded from class C to Class B. Its scientific experts, the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs, recommend cannabis should remain class C.
•2009 AD: May : Marijuana in California is now "available as a medical treatment in California to almost anyone who tells a willing physician he would feel better if he smoked." (Washington Post)
(to be continued.....)
~http://www.cannabis.org.uk/marijuana-timeline.html
June 19, 2009
Kinlie
When I was 12 I got a phone call that excused me from class. I walked back into the room 5 minutes later as an aunt. Soon after the phone call my family packed up the car and drove from Oregon to Idaho to see my sister and the new addition. A few years later I was invited to spend the summer with my sister so that I could help her with that addition plus a newer one. I eagerly packed up all the important things in my life (at age 14 that consisted of clothes and more clothes) and anxiously waved goodbye to my nagging, overbearing, and strict parents for the good life with my sister. The good life at that time meant freedom to watch MTV and stay up late. Unfortunately for my nieces, that did not make me the best babysitter. I am very sorry for that.
Despite the lack of quality time that I retrospectively spent with Kinlie and Hanna, I remember those summers fondly. My sister is 14 years my senior which made me closer in age to my nieces. Since I had desperately wanted a younger sibling, those girls answered the wish upon a star that I made as a little girl.
Until I graduated from High School, I spent every summer with them. Again, I neglected to take complete advantage of the opportunity, but I have forgiven myself for 'acting like a teenager' and see those times as irreplaceable. When I finally moved out on my own I truly missed the company of my 'little sisters'.
I pestered my oldest sister constantly to get permission for Kinlie and Hanna to come and spend a summer with me. She was hesitant for many relevant reasons: my pot smoking habit, my lack of concern over maintaining their innocence, my constant use of explitives, etc. So when she finally agreed to have Kinlie come visit me this summer, I was elated.
Despite her permission, I waited for something to fall through but it didn't. A few weeks ago my husband and I drove to Montana to witness Kinlie's graduation from high school and drove back to Seattle with her in tow. Over the next eight days we maximized usage of our time.
To summarize:
-Alki
-Greenlake
-Visiting Tom and introducing Kinlie to her cousin, Klaire
-Space Needle
-Monorail
-Downtown shopping
-UW Campus walk plus a trip to the Art Supply section of the bookstore
-Bainbridge Island and a Ferry Boat trip
-More shopping
-Pike's Place Market
-The Seattle Art Museum
-more shopping
-Kayaking on Lake Union
-tennis at Alki
-AND introducing Kin to 9 of our favorite movies.
Those eight days flew by.
We had such a great time hanging out and re-learning about each other. I spent some time showing her how to cook pad thai, edimame, poached chicken, clean and prepare shrimp, and to make "The Freeman Special" (mac and cheese with a side salad for nutritional value). She tried sushi for the first time, confronted her fear of heights at the Space Needle, and got artistic with canvases and a new pair of Converse shoes. We ganged up on my husband, sang in the car, and laughed a lot.
I expected Kinlie to sleep in until noon everyday, but she was up and ready to seize the day when the sun rose. It gave us a chance to fit everything in, but it was sure exhausting! By the time I guided her through airport security and said goodbye to her I was ready to have some "Amaya-Time". So I was a little surprised to find myself tearing up.
As I mentioned earlier, I had always wished for a little sister and found two in my nieces. Having wasted most of my previous time with them watching MTV, I had hoped to get a second chance and some quality time with one of my girls - and I finally did! I thought about that as I hugged Kinlie at the airport and tears swelled in my eyes. I finally got to acknowledge how important she is to me by clearing my schedule and devoting eight full days to her. And it was over: She was going home.
Despite the lack of quality time that I retrospectively spent with Kinlie and Hanna, I remember those summers fondly. My sister is 14 years my senior which made me closer in age to my nieces. Since I had desperately wanted a younger sibling, those girls answered the wish upon a star that I made as a little girl.
Until I graduated from High School, I spent every summer with them. Again, I neglected to take complete advantage of the opportunity, but I have forgiven myself for 'acting like a teenager' and see those times as irreplaceable. When I finally moved out on my own I truly missed the company of my 'little sisters'.
I pestered my oldest sister constantly to get permission for Kinlie and Hanna to come and spend a summer with me. She was hesitant for many relevant reasons: my pot smoking habit, my lack of concern over maintaining their innocence, my constant use of explitives, etc. So when she finally agreed to have Kinlie come visit me this summer, I was elated.
Despite her permission, I waited for something to fall through but it didn't. A few weeks ago my husband and I drove to Montana to witness Kinlie's graduation from high school and drove back to Seattle with her in tow. Over the next eight days we maximized usage of our time.
To summarize:
-Alki
-Greenlake
-Visiting Tom and introducing Kinlie to her cousin, Klaire
-Space Needle
-Monorail
-Downtown shopping
-UW Campus walk plus a trip to the Art Supply section of the bookstore
-Bainbridge Island and a Ferry Boat trip
-More shopping
-Pike's Place Market
-The Seattle Art Museum
-more shopping
-Kayaking on Lake Union
-tennis at Alki
-AND introducing Kin to 9 of our favorite movies.
Those eight days flew by.
We had such a great time hanging out and re-learning about each other. I spent some time showing her how to cook pad thai, edimame, poached chicken, clean and prepare shrimp, and to make "The Freeman Special" (mac and cheese with a side salad for nutritional value). She tried sushi for the first time, confronted her fear of heights at the Space Needle, and got artistic with canvases and a new pair of Converse shoes. We ganged up on my husband, sang in the car, and laughed a lot.
I expected Kinlie to sleep in until noon everyday, but she was up and ready to seize the day when the sun rose. It gave us a chance to fit everything in, but it was sure exhausting! By the time I guided her through airport security and said goodbye to her I was ready to have some "Amaya-Time". So I was a little surprised to find myself tearing up.
As I mentioned earlier, I had always wished for a little sister and found two in my nieces. Having wasted most of my previous time with them watching MTV, I had hoped to get a second chance and some quality time with one of my girls - and I finally did! I thought about that as I hugged Kinlie at the airport and tears swelled in my eyes. I finally got to acknowledge how important she is to me by clearing my schedule and devoting eight full days to her. And it was over: She was going home.
June 17, 2009
May 30, 2009
Margaritas and My Favorite Boys
Yesterday I was working on a paper for school and Justin was playing on his computer when I got a text from Daniel. He wanted a reason to play hooky so I invited him over. We spent the rest of the afternoon walking on the beach at low-tide, meeting his friend for drinks, and heading back to the house for margaritas.
The weather was as beautiful as it gets - with the sun shining high in the sky and a soft breeze fighting off the heat. As the sun went down, we walked across the street to sit on some boulders and listen to the waves lapping against the shore.
There were a few moments of "aah, remember this moment" because I was just so happy.
The weather was as beautiful as it gets - with the sun shining high in the sky and a soft breeze fighting off the heat. As the sun went down, we walked across the street to sit on some boulders and listen to the waves lapping against the shore.
There were a few moments of "aah, remember this moment" because I was just so happy.
May 27, 2009
Advice For Future Reference
Something worth mentioning:
If you lock the orange monster out of the bedroom so that you can get some sleep, you'd better wear earplugs. And anticipate crazy-bouncy-rolling-around-cuddles when you let him back in the room.
If you lock the orange monster out of the bedroom so that you can get some sleep, you'd better wear earplugs. And anticipate crazy-bouncy-rolling-around-cuddles when you let him back in the room.
May 24, 2009
My Life Exposed Through a Series of Facebook Status Updates
Amaya...
- just got back from Pacific Beach where her dad was shortly stationed in the Navy.
- gets to see her Molly today!
- is getting ready to walk to the park with Treasure Island and a chair.
- is having yogurt, granola, and fresh kiwi for breakfast.
- should be in bed. Early morning at the gym tomorrow. Ah, the life of the unemployed.
- found out that her neighbor tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and fractured her jaw. Jen's life isn't so bad.
- isn't sure who is to blame for waking her up at 6 this morning, but will think of someone.
- would like The View more if they had a conservative pundit that actually made good sense.
- had a relaxing weekend with the boys.
- can't wait to be lounging at the cabin!
- wonders what the significance of Jacob reading "Everything That Rises Must Converge" is?
- needs help sifting through all of these summer course offerings.
- <3s Jemaine a little more, actually
- wonders what the big deal is with the tug boats?
- John Stossel: "the drug war is doing much more harm than the drugs"
- can't believe she's lucky enough to see Jade again this weekend!
- is disappointed that her Southwest '09 class isn't going to work out.
- went to a Tang Soo Do self defense class. Bring it, Bitches!
- feels like Uma in Pulp Fiction.
- decided to chop. You might need to click on the picture to actually see it.
- just got back from the most serene walk around Greenlake with Baby Klaire.
- wants to thank Gene for re-introducing her to Lil Wayne. You're right - he is amazing.
- is debating on whether she wants drastic change or not. Update to follow.
- was driving home from class last night when two high school guys tried to pick her up at a stop light. She laughed and laughed.
- just deleted some "friends" and didn't even need the promise of a free hamburger. If you're reading this, I must like you.
- thinks people should read Aschenputtel to their children instead of Cinderella. Those step-sisters deserve to have their eyes poked out!
- gets to play with Klaire tomorrow.
- wants so badly to be productive today. Stupid body!
- can't believe how amazing Ritz Crackers taste when recovering from the stomach flu.
- is letting the thoughts settle into place.
- says I'm o.k., but my watch sick
- is heading over to Bakery Nouveau to see Connie this morning.
- wishes Lou and Isaiah a Happy Birthday!!!
- gushed about the best mocha of her life at Caffe Ladro last week. When she woke up this morning, blurry eyed, she opened a new bag of espresso beans and learned that her husband bought them from Caffe Ladro yesterday. How cute is that?
- is wondering why Jack London relates the dog to a "wolf" and how that affects the story "To Build a Fire"?
- is heading to Pesos for brunch.
- is playing on the computer when she should be doing homework.
- can't believe she's awake this early.
- can't wait to see Brit Brit tonight!
- had a great time on the Umpqua Valley Barrel Tour!
- is so excited for Gail! Check out her picture on the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/04/02/business/economy/economy-user-photos.html
- is starting to dislike facebook. Maybe I'm just cranky.
- is still sore from the tetanus shot on Monday.
- says finals week is making her go cross-eyed.
- misses Jade already.
- says Michael Scott makes me laugh: "call me ASAP As Possible"
- is kicking herself for not taking her test last night. Next week is gonna be a beyotch.
- has to act busy today since her husband is home.
- says stupid new fb. I think I'm writing to someone but then it shows up as my profile header.
- Happy St Patty's Day. How was the first day of tennis?
- can't believe Rita Studebaker is turning 98!
- btw - Friday would be great!!!! I'll probably be doing homework all week so that I won't have any to do while you're here. Hooray! Can't wait to see you!!! Muah
- is checking conditions on the pass.
- is making cookies and anticipating a special arrival tomorrow.
- is waiting for Tom to stop by with Klaire and some lunch.
- is excited to see Daniel.
- woke up early to watch the Jazz with her husband.
- thinks Hellboy I & II were better than she expected.
- is going to babysit The Klaire.
- is surprisingly busy in her unemployment.
- hopes she took one for the team.
- is returning to the scene of the crime today. Then going for a long run at the gym.
- thinks everything happens for a reason.
- is full of oatmeal and happy to see sunshine.
- wishes she could hug Kelly.
- now realizes why no one messes with the coffee - if you add more, you get grounds in your cup. Stupid work coffee maker.
- is going to eat an entire box of cookies for breakfast now that I've been encouraged to do it.
- is resisting the urge to eat Girl Scout Cookies for breakfast.
- is finally working now that her laptop was replaced.
- is squinting her eyes because it's too early to be working.
- is walking Greenlake with her family.
-
- just got back from Pacific Beach where her dad was shortly stationed in the Navy.
- gets to see her Molly today!
- is getting ready to walk to the park with Treasure Island and a chair.
- is having yogurt, granola, and fresh kiwi for breakfast.
- should be in bed. Early morning at the gym tomorrow. Ah, the life of the unemployed.
- found out that her neighbor tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and fractured her jaw. Jen's life isn't so bad.
- isn't sure who is to blame for waking her up at 6 this morning, but will think of someone.
- would like The View more if they had a conservative pundit that actually made good sense.
- had a relaxing weekend with the boys.
- can't wait to be lounging at the cabin!
- wonders what the significance of Jacob reading "Everything That Rises Must Converge" is?
- needs help sifting through all of these summer course offerings.
- <3s Jemaine a little more, actually
- wonders what the big deal is with the tug boats?
- John Stossel: "the drug war is doing much more harm than the drugs"
- can't believe she's lucky enough to see Jade again this weekend!
- is disappointed that her Southwest '09 class isn't going to work out.
- went to a Tang Soo Do self defense class. Bring it, Bitches!
- feels like Uma in Pulp Fiction.
- decided to chop. You might need to click on the picture to actually see it.
- just got back from the most serene walk around Greenlake with Baby Klaire.
- wants to thank Gene for re-introducing her to Lil Wayne. You're right - he is amazing.
- is debating on whether she wants drastic change or not. Update to follow.
- was driving home from class last night when two high school guys tried to pick her up at a stop light. She laughed and laughed.
- just deleted some "friends" and didn't even need the promise of a free hamburger. If you're reading this, I must like you.
- thinks people should read Aschenputtel to their children instead of Cinderella. Those step-sisters deserve to have their eyes poked out!
- gets to play with Klaire tomorrow.
- wants so badly to be productive today. Stupid body!
- can't believe how amazing Ritz Crackers taste when recovering from the stomach flu.
- is letting the thoughts settle into place.
- says I'm o.k., but my watch sick
- is heading over to Bakery Nouveau to see Connie this morning.
- wishes Lou and Isaiah a Happy Birthday!!!
- gushed about the best mocha of her life at Caffe Ladro last week. When she woke up this morning, blurry eyed, she opened a new bag of espresso beans and learned that her husband bought them from Caffe Ladro yesterday. How cute is that?
- is wondering why Jack London relates the dog to a "wolf" and how that affects the story "To Build a Fire"?
- is heading to Pesos for brunch.
- is playing on the computer when she should be doing homework.
- can't believe she's awake this early.
- can't wait to see Brit Brit tonight!
- had a great time on the Umpqua Valley Barrel Tour!
- is so excited for Gail! Check out her picture on the NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/04/02/business/economy/economy-user-photos.html
- is starting to dislike facebook. Maybe I'm just cranky.
- is still sore from the tetanus shot on Monday.
- says finals week is making her go cross-eyed.
- misses Jade already.
- says Michael Scott makes me laugh: "call me ASAP As Possible"
- is kicking herself for not taking her test last night. Next week is gonna be a beyotch.
- has to act busy today since her husband is home.
- says stupid new fb. I think I'm writing to someone but then it shows up as my profile header.
- Happy St Patty's Day. How was the first day of tennis?
- can't believe Rita Studebaker is turning 98!
- btw - Friday would be great!!!! I'll probably be doing homework all week so that I won't have any to do while you're here. Hooray! Can't wait to see you!!! Muah
- is checking conditions on the pass.
- is making cookies and anticipating a special arrival tomorrow.
- is waiting for Tom to stop by with Klaire and some lunch.
- is excited to see Daniel.
- woke up early to watch the Jazz with her husband.
- thinks Hellboy I & II were better than she expected.
- is going to babysit The Klaire.
- is surprisingly busy in her unemployment.
- hopes she took one for the team.
- is returning to the scene of the crime today. Then going for a long run at the gym.
- thinks everything happens for a reason.
- is full of oatmeal and happy to see sunshine.
- wishes she could hug Kelly.
- now realizes why no one messes with the coffee - if you add more, you get grounds in your cup. Stupid work coffee maker.
- is going to eat an entire box of cookies for breakfast now that I've been encouraged to do it.
- is resisting the urge to eat Girl Scout Cookies for breakfast.
- is finally working now that her laptop was replaced.
- is squinting her eyes because it's too early to be working.
- is walking Greenlake with her family.
-
May 20, 2009
Sometimes I Forget Why I Blog
There are a few reasons why I write. One of them is because it's therapeutic. Another reason is to remember the little things that make up my life.
This last weekend was one of those moments I don't want to forget. I went to a cabin with my husband, my dear friend Daniel, and his friend.
We didn't realize that the ferry ride to Vashon Island would be such a hot ticket so after accidentally cutting in front of a group of cars, seeing the sluggishly slow moving line, having a confrontation with another driver, and realizing that we wouldn't get on the next ferry - or the one after that, we turned around and drove a little out of the way to the Tacoma Narrows Bridge and over the Sound to a beautiful little cabin in Mason County.
The house was a pleasant surprise - much nicer than I anticipated and it happened to be waterfront - again a nice surprise. The house was stocked with everything you could possibly want or need. LCD tv, dvd players, games, loads of food, kayaks, bikes, and more. Our plan, however, was to do as little as possible so we made a conscious decision to ignore most of those things. Instead, we did have a bit of a summer romance with Sudoku Deluxe.
Daniel and his friend were great company. Daniel and I always have a lovely time being snarky and my husband enjoys his company as well. His friend, Noam, is from Israel and has only lived in the U.S. for a year and a half. Spending a weekend with him was a delight and an education.
He was practically dropped here after accepting a job and had no one to help integrate him. He spoke Enlish well and even understood our sardonic American humor but his life has been very different from mine. While growing up in Israel, Noam had to deal with constant security threats and even spent three years in the Israely Army - catching suicide bombers.
Yes, it was a very interesting weekend.
This last weekend was one of those moments I don't want to forget. I went to a cabin with my husband, my dear friend Daniel, and his friend.
We didn't realize that the ferry ride to Vashon Island would be such a hot ticket so after accidentally cutting in front of a group of cars, seeing the sluggishly slow moving line, having a confrontation with another driver, and realizing that we wouldn't get on the next ferry - or the one after that, we turned around and drove a little out of the way to the Tacoma Narrows Bridge and over the Sound to a beautiful little cabin in Mason County.
The house was a pleasant surprise - much nicer than I anticipated and it happened to be waterfront - again a nice surprise. The house was stocked with everything you could possibly want or need. LCD tv, dvd players, games, loads of food, kayaks, bikes, and more. Our plan, however, was to do as little as possible so we made a conscious decision to ignore most of those things. Instead, we did have a bit of a summer romance with Sudoku Deluxe.
Daniel and his friend were great company. Daniel and I always have a lovely time being snarky and my husband enjoys his company as well. His friend, Noam, is from Israel and has only lived in the U.S. for a year and a half. Spending a weekend with him was a delight and an education.
He was practically dropped here after accepting a job and had no one to help integrate him. He spoke Enlish well and even understood our sardonic American humor but his life has been very different from mine. While growing up in Israel, Noam had to deal with constant security threats and even spent three years in the Israely Army - catching suicide bombers.
Yes, it was a very interesting weekend.
April 27, 2009
My Favorite Thing About Yesterday...
I try to write in my journal every evening before I go to bed. If I don't have anything pressing to write, I often start out by saying "my favorite thing about today is" and go from there. But lately I haven't made much of an effort.
Yesterday was a pretty great day and yet, I couldn't muster the energy to write - so I am going to try and make up for that today.
My favorite thing about yesterday was:
falling asleep on the couch with my husband last night. We were both really tired from a day full of activities and we couldn't keep our eyes open despite our interest in How the Earth Was Made.
The day started off well - I slept in until my eyes popped open (I love it when that happens) and then I shuffled into the kitchen to pour a heaping bowl of Golden Grahams. Around eleven, we were finally ready to hit the road. We snacked on a light lunch as we drove up through Seattle on our way to Mount Vernon to see Tulip Town. Traffic was bad, but not horrible as we headed North on the freeway. When we finally got off exit 221, we passed charming country homes and fields scattered with horses, cows, and sheep. By then, the clouds had broken up and we were inspired to open all our windows and the sunroof and try to absorb as much of the beautiful spring day as possible.
When we finally got out of the car we were greeted by thousands of people. Diversity abounding, many of the people in the fields had one thing in common: they were trying to take a picture for their next holiday card.
I had too much fun taking pictures of other people's pictures, as you can see.
After visiting Tulip Town and a few smaller fields that were scattered out along our Sunday Drive, we drove over to Tom's house so that my husband could see baby Klaire.
By the time we got home around six, we were beat. The beautiful sunshine had taken its toll and we just wanted to collapse on the couch. Which is exactly what we did.
The next thing I knew, it was nine and I was listening to the announcer on Direct TV. My husband and I had fallen asleep on the couch and had been listening to a repeating commercial for I-don't-know-how-long. As I reached for the remote, I woke him up. We smiled at each other, repositioned, and went back to sleep.
It was wonderful.
Yesterday was a pretty great day and yet, I couldn't muster the energy to write - so I am going to try and make up for that today.
My favorite thing about yesterday was:
falling asleep on the couch with my husband last night. We were both really tired from a day full of activities and we couldn't keep our eyes open despite our interest in How the Earth Was Made.
The day started off well - I slept in until my eyes popped open (I love it when that happens) and then I shuffled into the kitchen to pour a heaping bowl of Golden Grahams. Around eleven, we were finally ready to hit the road. We snacked on a light lunch as we drove up through Seattle on our way to Mount Vernon to see Tulip Town. Traffic was bad, but not horrible as we headed North on the freeway. When we finally got off exit 221, we passed charming country homes and fields scattered with horses, cows, and sheep. By then, the clouds had broken up and we were inspired to open all our windows and the sunroof and try to absorb as much of the beautiful spring day as possible.
When we finally got out of the car we were greeted by thousands of people. Diversity abounding, many of the people in the fields had one thing in common: they were trying to take a picture for their next holiday card.
I had too much fun taking pictures of other people's pictures, as you can see.
After visiting Tulip Town and a few smaller fields that were scattered out along our Sunday Drive, we drove over to Tom's house so that my husband could see baby Klaire.
By the time we got home around six, we were beat. The beautiful sunshine had taken its toll and we just wanted to collapse on the couch. Which is exactly what we did.
The next thing I knew, it was nine and I was listening to the announcer on Direct TV. My husband and I had fallen asleep on the couch and had been listening to a repeating commercial for I-don't-know-how-long. As I reached for the remote, I woke him up. We smiled at each other, repositioned, and went back to sleep.
It was wonderful.
April 10, 2009
Unemployment Sure Keeps Me Busy
Since I last wrote I have:
~driven home to Roseburg for a long weekend
~gone to the Umpqua Valley Barrel Tour
~finished up Winter classes
~started Spring classes (suffered through my first Spanish 103 class after a 6 year Span-absence)
~done some Spring Cleaning
~gone on 2 interviews
~done some recon work for my parents (trying to reconnect them with old friends via facebook)
~hung out with my favorite Sister-in-Law
~met a friend's new baby
~ate at Abby's pizza
~read The Yellow Wallpaper by Chopin (whoa!)
~cuddled with Klaire
~watched the Utah Jazz pull their shit together and then immediately watch it unravel with my husband
~made notecards with my photos
~met up with an old friend and had the best white mocha of my life simulateously (I'd like to give a shout-out to Cafe Ladro in Fremont)
~kicked ass at the gym
~researched ticket prices to the Basketball Hall of Fame induction of John Stockton
~talked to my mom on the phone
~pet my in-law's poodle for what I assume will be the last time (she's really old!)
~gone to a Britney Spears concert (and unabashedly loved it!)
I have been very busy in my unemployment.
~driven home to Roseburg for a long weekend
~gone to the Umpqua Valley Barrel Tour
~finished up Winter classes
~started Spring classes (suffered through my first Spanish 103 class after a 6 year Span-absence)
~done some Spring Cleaning
~gone on 2 interviews
~done some recon work for my parents (trying to reconnect them with old friends via facebook)
~hung out with my favorite Sister-in-Law
~met a friend's new baby
~ate at Abby's pizza
~read The Yellow Wallpaper by Chopin (whoa!)
~cuddled with Klaire
~watched the Utah Jazz pull their shit together and then immediately watch it unravel with my husband
~made notecards with my photos
~met up with an old friend and had the best white mocha of my life simulateously (I'd like to give a shout-out to Cafe Ladro in Fremont)
~kicked ass at the gym
~researched ticket prices to the Basketball Hall of Fame induction of John Stockton
~talked to my mom on the phone
~pet my in-law's poodle for what I assume will be the last time (she's really old!)
~gone to a Britney Spears concert (and unabashedly loved it!)
I have been very busy in my unemployment.
March 29, 2009
Ms. Magazine: Who Wants to Marry a Feminist by Lisa Miya-Jervis
I am working on a paper about Ms. Magazine for my Race, Gender, and Class in the Media course and I really enjoyed this article. Just thought I'd share.
Who Wants to Marry a Feminist?
By Lisa Miya-Jervis
The winter I got engaged, a college friend was using some of my essays as course material for a Rhetoric 101 class she was teaching at a large Midwestern university. She couldn't wait to alert her students to my impending marriage. "They all think you're a lesbian," she told me. "One of them even asked if you hate men." I was blown over by the clichZ of it all--how had we come to the end of the twentieth century with such ridiculous, outmoded notions even partially intact? But I was, at least, pleased that my friend was able to use my story to banish the stereotype once and (I hoped) for all in the minds of 30 corn-fed first-years. "To a man?" they reportedly gasped when told the news.
I'd been married less than a year when a customer at the bookstore where my husband works approached the counter to buy a copy of the feminist magazine I edit. "You know," a staffer told her while ringing up the purchase, "the woman who does this magazine is married to a guy who works here." The customer, supposedly a longtime reader, was outraged at the news--I believe the phrase "betrayal of feminism" was uttered--and vowed never to buy the magazine again.
These two incidents may be extreme, but they are nonetheless indicative. Although we are far from rare, young married feminists are still, for some, something of a novelty--like a dressed-up dog. We can cause a surprised "Oh, would you look at that" or a disappointed "Take that damned hat off the dog, it's just not right."
Let's take the disappointment first. Marriage's bad reputation among feminists is certainly not without reason. We all know the institution's tarnished history: women as property passed from father to husband; monogamy as the simplest way to assure paternity and thus produce "legitimate" children; a husband's legal entitlement to his wife's domestic and sexual services. With marriage rates falling and social sanctions against cohabitation falling away, why would a feminist choose to take part in such a retro, potentially oppressive, bigotedly exclusive institution?
Well, there are a lot of reasons, actually. Foremost are the emotional ones: love, companionship, the pure joy that meeting your match brings with it. But, because I'm wary of the kind of muddled romanticizing that has ill-served women in their heterosexual dealings for most of recorded history, I have plenty of other reasons. To reject marriage simply because of its history is to give in to that history; to argue against marriage by saying that a wife's identity is necessarily subsumed by her husband's is to do nothing more than second the notion.
And wasn't it feminists who fought so hard to procure the basic rights that used to be obliterated by marriage? Because of the women's rights movement, we can maintain our own bank accounts; we can make our own health care choices; we can refuse sex with our husbands and prosecute them if they don't comply. In the feminist imagination, "wife" can still conjure up images of cookie-baking, cookie-cutter Donna Reeds whose own desires have been forced to take a backseat to their stultifying helpmate duties. But it's neither 1750 nor 1950, and Donna Reed was a mythical figure even in her own time. Marriage, now, is potentially what we make it.
Which brings me to the "surprise" portion of our program. As long as the yeti of the antifeminist world--the hairy-legged man-hater (everyone claims to have seen her but actual evidence is sparse)--roams the earth, we need to counteract her image. And as long as wives are assumed--by anyone--to be obedient little women with no lives of their own, those of us who give the lie to this straw bride need to make ourselves as conspicuous as possible.
I want to take the good from marriage and leave the rest. I know it's not for everyone, but the "for as long as we both shall live" love and support thang really works for me. Sure, I didn't need the wedding to get that love and support, but neither does the fact of marriage automatically consign me and my man to traditional man-and-wife roles. Like so many relationships, married and un-, ours is a complex weave of support, independence, and sex. We achieve this privately--from the mundanities of you-have-to-cook-tonight-because-I-have-this-deadline-tomorrow to sleepy late-night discussions on more profound matters, like the meaning of life or how many steps it takes to link Kevin Bacon to John Gielgud by way of at least one vampire movie. But also publicly--with our name change, for example (explaining to folks like the Social Security Administration and whoever hands out passports that, yes, we both need new papers, because we each have added the other's name was, and I mean this quite seriously, a thrill). And it's this public nature of marriage that appeals. It's what allows me to take a stab at all this change I've been yammering about.
I won't pretend I meet with success all the time. Disrupting other people's expectations is hard, and sometimes it's neither possible nor desirable to wear the workings of one's relationship on one's sleeve. An appropriate cocktail party introduction is not, "This is my husband, Christopher, who knows how to truss a turkey, which I don't, and who, by the way, doesn't mind at all that I make more money than him. Oh, and did I mention that the last time our toilet got scrubbed, it wasn't by me?"
Plus, some people's perceptions can only change so much. My 90-year-old grandfather, who has been nothing but open-minded and incredibly supportive of my feminist work, persists in asking what my husband is going to do for food whenever I leave town on my own. Each time, I say the same thing: "Christopher knows perfectly well how to feed himself. In fact, he's cooking dinner for me right now." And then my grandfather gives a little surprised chuckle: those crazy kids, what will they think of next? And my accountant, who's been doing my taxes for years and knows my husband only as a Social Security number, automatically assigned Christopher the status of "taxpayer" and put me down as "spouse" on our first joint return. Yeah, it was a tad annoying, but so far it's the sum total of the eclipse of my identity by his. Not so bad, really.
By and large I do believe that we're culturally ready to accept changes in the way marriages are viewed. Increasing rates of cohabitation and the growing visibility of long-term same-sex partnerships are changing popular notions of relationships. Even trash TV holds promise: Fox's Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? debacle laid bare many ugly things about American capitalism and media spectacle, but there was one fairly unexpected result. The show was presented as a display, however crass, of old-fashioned marital values--a trade of youth, beauty, and fecundity for wealth, security, and caretaking, complete with the groom's friends and family on hand for that lovely arranged-marriage feel. But it turned out to be nothing of the kind. The bride, as it happened, just wanted the lark of a free trip to Vegas, and the groom, a boost to his moribund show-biz career. That the concept saw the outside of a Fox conference room proves that modern marriage is in dire need of feminist attention. But the widely expressed outrage and disgust that followed the show are evidence that the general public is more than ready to discard the notion that a woman's ultimate goal is the altar.
It's true that the most important parts, the actual warp and weft of Christopher's and my relationship, could be achieved without a legal marriage (and I could have kept my third-wave street cred). In the end, though, the decision to marry or not to marry is--no matter how political the personal--an emotional one. I wanted to link my life to Christopher's, and, yes, I admit to taking advantage of the universally understood straight-shot-to-relationship-legitimacy that marriage offers. But it is a testament to the feminists who came before me, who offered up all those arguments about marriage's oppressive roots and worked tirelessly to ensure that my husband owns neither my body nor my paycheck, that I can indulge my emotion without fear of being caught in those roots. Instead, I can carry on their struggle and help forge a new vision of what marriage is.
~Lisa Miya-Jervis is the editor of "Bitch: Feminist Response to Pop Culture" and coeditor of "Young Wives' Tales," an upcoming anthology of feminist writings on partnership (Seal Press 2001).
Who Wants to Marry a Feminist?
By Lisa Miya-Jervis
The winter I got engaged, a college friend was using some of my essays as course material for a Rhetoric 101 class she was teaching at a large Midwestern university. She couldn't wait to alert her students to my impending marriage. "They all think you're a lesbian," she told me. "One of them even asked if you hate men." I was blown over by the clichZ of it all--how had we come to the end of the twentieth century with such ridiculous, outmoded notions even partially intact? But I was, at least, pleased that my friend was able to use my story to banish the stereotype once and (I hoped) for all in the minds of 30 corn-fed first-years. "To a man?" they reportedly gasped when told the news.
I'd been married less than a year when a customer at the bookstore where my husband works approached the counter to buy a copy of the feminist magazine I edit. "You know," a staffer told her while ringing up the purchase, "the woman who does this magazine is married to a guy who works here." The customer, supposedly a longtime reader, was outraged at the news--I believe the phrase "betrayal of feminism" was uttered--and vowed never to buy the magazine again.
These two incidents may be extreme, but they are nonetheless indicative. Although we are far from rare, young married feminists are still, for some, something of a novelty--like a dressed-up dog. We can cause a surprised "Oh, would you look at that" or a disappointed "Take that damned hat off the dog, it's just not right."
Let's take the disappointment first. Marriage's bad reputation among feminists is certainly not without reason. We all know the institution's tarnished history: women as property passed from father to husband; monogamy as the simplest way to assure paternity and thus produce "legitimate" children; a husband's legal entitlement to his wife's domestic and sexual services. With marriage rates falling and social sanctions against cohabitation falling away, why would a feminist choose to take part in such a retro, potentially oppressive, bigotedly exclusive institution?
Well, there are a lot of reasons, actually. Foremost are the emotional ones: love, companionship, the pure joy that meeting your match brings with it. But, because I'm wary of the kind of muddled romanticizing that has ill-served women in their heterosexual dealings for most of recorded history, I have plenty of other reasons. To reject marriage simply because of its history is to give in to that history; to argue against marriage by saying that a wife's identity is necessarily subsumed by her husband's is to do nothing more than second the notion.
And wasn't it feminists who fought so hard to procure the basic rights that used to be obliterated by marriage? Because of the women's rights movement, we can maintain our own bank accounts; we can make our own health care choices; we can refuse sex with our husbands and prosecute them if they don't comply. In the feminist imagination, "wife" can still conjure up images of cookie-baking, cookie-cutter Donna Reeds whose own desires have been forced to take a backseat to their stultifying helpmate duties. But it's neither 1750 nor 1950, and Donna Reed was a mythical figure even in her own time. Marriage, now, is potentially what we make it.
Which brings me to the "surprise" portion of our program. As long as the yeti of the antifeminist world--the hairy-legged man-hater (everyone claims to have seen her but actual evidence is sparse)--roams the earth, we need to counteract her image. And as long as wives are assumed--by anyone--to be obedient little women with no lives of their own, those of us who give the lie to this straw bride need to make ourselves as conspicuous as possible.
I want to take the good from marriage and leave the rest. I know it's not for everyone, but the "for as long as we both shall live" love and support thang really works for me. Sure, I didn't need the wedding to get that love and support, but neither does the fact of marriage automatically consign me and my man to traditional man-and-wife roles. Like so many relationships, married and un-, ours is a complex weave of support, independence, and sex. We achieve this privately--from the mundanities of you-have-to-cook-tonight-because-I-have-this-deadline-tomorrow to sleepy late-night discussions on more profound matters, like the meaning of life or how many steps it takes to link Kevin Bacon to John Gielgud by way of at least one vampire movie. But also publicly--with our name change, for example (explaining to folks like the Social Security Administration and whoever hands out passports that, yes, we both need new papers, because we each have added the other's name was, and I mean this quite seriously, a thrill). And it's this public nature of marriage that appeals. It's what allows me to take a stab at all this change I've been yammering about.
I won't pretend I meet with success all the time. Disrupting other people's expectations is hard, and sometimes it's neither possible nor desirable to wear the workings of one's relationship on one's sleeve. An appropriate cocktail party introduction is not, "This is my husband, Christopher, who knows how to truss a turkey, which I don't, and who, by the way, doesn't mind at all that I make more money than him. Oh, and did I mention that the last time our toilet got scrubbed, it wasn't by me?"
Plus, some people's perceptions can only change so much. My 90-year-old grandfather, who has been nothing but open-minded and incredibly supportive of my feminist work, persists in asking what my husband is going to do for food whenever I leave town on my own. Each time, I say the same thing: "Christopher knows perfectly well how to feed himself. In fact, he's cooking dinner for me right now." And then my grandfather gives a little surprised chuckle: those crazy kids, what will they think of next? And my accountant, who's been doing my taxes for years and knows my husband only as a Social Security number, automatically assigned Christopher the status of "taxpayer" and put me down as "spouse" on our first joint return. Yeah, it was a tad annoying, but so far it's the sum total of the eclipse of my identity by his. Not so bad, really.
By and large I do believe that we're culturally ready to accept changes in the way marriages are viewed. Increasing rates of cohabitation and the growing visibility of long-term same-sex partnerships are changing popular notions of relationships. Even trash TV holds promise: Fox's Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? debacle laid bare many ugly things about American capitalism and media spectacle, but there was one fairly unexpected result. The show was presented as a display, however crass, of old-fashioned marital values--a trade of youth, beauty, and fecundity for wealth, security, and caretaking, complete with the groom's friends and family on hand for that lovely arranged-marriage feel. But it turned out to be nothing of the kind. The bride, as it happened, just wanted the lark of a free trip to Vegas, and the groom, a boost to his moribund show-biz career. That the concept saw the outside of a Fox conference room proves that modern marriage is in dire need of feminist attention. But the widely expressed outrage and disgust that followed the show are evidence that the general public is more than ready to discard the notion that a woman's ultimate goal is the altar.
It's true that the most important parts, the actual warp and weft of Christopher's and my relationship, could be achieved without a legal marriage (and I could have kept my third-wave street cred). In the end, though, the decision to marry or not to marry is--no matter how political the personal--an emotional one. I wanted to link my life to Christopher's, and, yes, I admit to taking advantage of the universally understood straight-shot-to-relationship-legitimacy that marriage offers. But it is a testament to the feminists who came before me, who offered up all those arguments about marriage's oppressive roots and worked tirelessly to ensure that my husband owns neither my body nor my paycheck, that I can indulge my emotion without fear of being caught in those roots. Instead, I can carry on their struggle and help forge a new vision of what marriage is.
~Lisa Miya-Jervis is the editor of "Bitch: Feminist Response to Pop Culture" and coeditor of "Young Wives' Tales," an upcoming anthology of feminist writings on partnership (Seal Press 2001).
March 26, 2009
While I Was Sleeping
Logic was in a meeting this morning that may have significant impact on our lives. While I laid in bed, sleeping after a grueling night of "My Mommy!, No! My Mommy!" arguing between the cats (my life is so tough), Logic was summoned into the conference room to learn that his boss was being transferred to another location, his team was merging with another, and a position that he is very interested in will be re-located to the Olympia branch.
His call, which woke me up, was full of anticipation and excitement. He is still interested in the position and wants to talk to me about how we can make it work while I finish school. It hadn't occurred to me that losing my job might set us up to make some drastic changes. But it seems to be one less thing tying us to Seattle. Part of me is sad.
I've grown to really care about Seattle. Once I got past the gloom, I saw the true beauty of the city which comes from its people. There are so many personalities roaming the 7 hills of Seattle and I don't know if I am ready to leave.
But, as I write this, I know I am getting ahead of myself. Logic works for the government which means nothing is going to happen overnight. And when it does happen, I know we will make the best decision for us.
It really is funny how one change can cause a domino effect in life. Already I am staring down a full-load at school and the possibility of supplementing my income by waiting tables - something I never thought I'd do again. But it just feels right.
I could have never imagined quitting my corporate job - with its 401(k), stock options, and paid vacation - to focus primarily on school and wait tables on the side. But since the situation was given to me, it seems like the best thing to do.
So I'm sure when it comes time to figure out Logic's next professional move, the situation will present itself with some great options for us. They may not be the ones I would choose for us now, but down the road they might just be perfect.
His call, which woke me up, was full of anticipation and excitement. He is still interested in the position and wants to talk to me about how we can make it work while I finish school. It hadn't occurred to me that losing my job might set us up to make some drastic changes. But it seems to be one less thing tying us to Seattle. Part of me is sad.
I've grown to really care about Seattle. Once I got past the gloom, I saw the true beauty of the city which comes from its people. There are so many personalities roaming the 7 hills of Seattle and I don't know if I am ready to leave.
But, as I write this, I know I am getting ahead of myself. Logic works for the government which means nothing is going to happen overnight. And when it does happen, I know we will make the best decision for us.
It really is funny how one change can cause a domino effect in life. Already I am staring down a full-load at school and the possibility of supplementing my income by waiting tables - something I never thought I'd do again. But it just feels right.
I could have never imagined quitting my corporate job - with its 401(k), stock options, and paid vacation - to focus primarily on school and wait tables on the side. But since the situation was given to me, it seems like the best thing to do.
So I'm sure when it comes time to figure out Logic's next professional move, the situation will present itself with some great options for us. They may not be the ones I would choose for us now, but down the road they might just be perfect.
March 24, 2009
Simplicity
I love this new layout. It's a blank canvas. Kind of like my life.
I was inspired to change this after creating a new photo-blog (found here).
The simplicity of the template doesn't distract, and that's what I want in my life: no distractions.
Let me know what you think of this, and of the photoblog.
I was inspired to change this after creating a new photo-blog (found here).
The simplicity of the template doesn't distract, and that's what I want in my life: no distractions.
Let me know what you think of this, and of the photoblog.
March 15, 2009
Yet Another Story about George
I feel guilty.
George was all alone and sad after Gracie had to be put to sleep. We let him cry for 2 months before it became unbearable. We wanted him to know that we missed Grace as much as he did and that we weren't trying to replace her, but we also wanted him to have companionship. So in January we got him a friend.
Mobey had an upper respiratory infection when we picked him up from the shelter and we tried noticed significant improvement before he was fully integrated so we figured everything would be fine. But a few weeks later George started drooling and we found a cold-sore on his tongue. A few weeks after that, his eye started to ooze. Logic took him back to the vet to learn that he has herpes and needed to be on antibiotics.
Well, this last week he started coughing. We took him to the vet yet again and she said the cough wouldn't be related to the other symptoms and its possible that he might have asthma.
As a cat-mama I am stressed out. Would any of this happened if we hadn't brought Mobey home for him?
It makes me sad to write that. Mobey is a wonderful addition to our family and he and George are fast-friends. But I can't help feeling like it's my fault for bringing a sick kitty into the house and making my other cat sick because of it.
Poor Georgie.
George was all alone and sad after Gracie had to be put to sleep. We let him cry for 2 months before it became unbearable. We wanted him to know that we missed Grace as much as he did and that we weren't trying to replace her, but we also wanted him to have companionship. So in January we got him a friend.
Mobey had an upper respiratory infection when we picked him up from the shelter and we tried noticed significant improvement before he was fully integrated so we figured everything would be fine. But a few weeks later George started drooling and we found a cold-sore on his tongue. A few weeks after that, his eye started to ooze. Logic took him back to the vet to learn that he has herpes and needed to be on antibiotics.
Well, this last week he started coughing. We took him to the vet yet again and she said the cough wouldn't be related to the other symptoms and its possible that he might have asthma.
As a cat-mama I am stressed out. Would any of this happened if we hadn't brought Mobey home for him?
It makes me sad to write that. Mobey is a wonderful addition to our family and he and George are fast-friends. But I can't help feeling like it's my fault for bringing a sick kitty into the house and making my other cat sick because of it.
Poor Georgie.
March 14, 2009
Weather Watch
It was a beautiful week but there's a storm heading this way. Unfortunately for me, a dear friend was planning on visiting but might not be able to make it over the pass now. Stupid weather.
March 11, 2009
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