The Douche Awards

I was inspired this morning.
As I walked out of my building, I saw a large truck taking up two parking spaces on an already packed street. Just to paint an accurate picture, he was parallel parked, so it had nothing to do with the size (or lack thereof) of his truck. He was just being a douche.
This is a common occurrence on my street and it angers me in a way that it probably shouldn't because it rarely affects me. But I have a hard time understanding how some people can be so blatantly inconsiderate.
This lead me to wonder how I could let people like the truck driver know when they're being total douche's without being confrontational.
There is an artist (whose name eludes me) who used to hand out these amazing business cards that said something like: "Hello, I am black. You may not have known that, which could be why you chose to talk in a way that you didn't realize I would find offensive" when she found herself in a conversation that was racist. She was a black woman with fair skin and was often mistaken for white. You can imagine how uncomfortable she must have been to find herself in conversations where African Americans were talked about negatively. So she decided to hand out those business cards whenever she found herself in a situation where she was mistake for someone who would have been interested in racist dialogue.
I'm not wanting to go quite that far with it. After all, I did say 'without being confrontational' (aka: I'm scared). But maybe I could make up some business cards like this:

Congratulations! You've been
awarded a DOUCHE AWARD.
Due to your recent behavior, the
Douche Committee deemed you worthy of
an award. To see what you've won,
please go to
www.doucheawards.com

(and then I'll set up some bogus website where I can give examples of people being douches.)

What do you think?

Lush

While in B.C., I stumbled upon a bath shop called Lush. I'd never heard of it but later realized there was a location a mile from my office in Seattle. Anyway, in the shop there are buckets and buckets of bath bombs, soaps, lotions, shower jellies and more. I couldn't help myself - I scoured every bucket until deciding on the perfect six bombs to get.
I'm a girl who loves her bath time so this store was like heaven to me. I picked out a variety of bombs for every occasion (sex bomb to waving, not drowning) and rushed to the register, hoping to bring them home and enjoy them all before waking up from the dream.
I held onto that bag for dear life and stashed it in a safe place as soon as we returned home. And last night, after an intense yoga session I had a chance to use my first bomb. For the life of me, I can't remember it's name now but let me tell you - it was amazing. After twenty minutes in the bath, I began to worry that I couldn't get out. Literally, I couldn't move. But when the effervescing stopped and the water began to cool off, I mustered up the strength to pull myself out. Nearly 18 hours later, I may be out of the tub, but I am still feeling the relaxing effects of that bomb.

Insert Horror Movie Scream

One of the scariest things I've ever seen.

The Last King of Scotland - Review

Let me just start off by saying I am not a proponent of violence in movies. But I do think a movie should be given leniency when trying to make a point. And in TLKOS the violence is necessary.
If you've never heard of it, it's the story of Idi Amin's brutal ruling of Uganda in the 1970's.
Because this story is based on fact, I cannot argue with the overwhelmingly grotesque aggression that was portrayed but had I known the film would be so graphic, I would have never watched it.
(The movie is still resonating so this may be impartial from a woman with a delicate psyche. Consider that my disclaimer.)
Yes, it is based on fact. Yes, it is important for people to understand what goes on outside of their country. Yes, people need to learn about history in order to prevent it from repeating. But this movie is so savage in parts that I am still battling a rumbling stomach - nearly 12 hours later.
Proceed with caution.

Love/Hate Relationship

Summer is my favorite time of year. Everything is in bloom, it's warm and the sun is high in the sky. But during the summer, my allergies are on high alert. This got me thinking about the love/hate relationship I have with summertime in Seattle.
I love flowers. Not to the point where I want a bouquet in my house every day (possibly due to the constant sneezing that would ensue) but for the sole purpose of marveling at their beauty in their natural state. My favorite flowers are lilacs. The house I lived in from birth until age six had a large lilac tree in the back yard and I have some very fond memories of living life with the lingering fragrance of lilacs in bloom. Due to my age and what my life consisted of, it also reminds me of my mom. Two years ago I bought my very own lilac dwarf-bush and have enjoyed watching it bloom on my deck every spring.
I love warm weather. The kind that requires you to slow down and reflect. There is no such thing as rushing when the weather is nice. Everything is done in a leisurely fashion so as to enjoy every morsel of it.
I love the activities that come along with warm weather. Sunbathing is at the top of my list. Not that I have the skin-type for it, but I love the way heat penetrates through my skin and dries my swimsuit in record time. I love snorkeling. I've only gone once, but it was a lot of fun. So was white water rafting, the one time I did that. I love going on hikes and exploring new areas. I love the fresh produce that comes with warm weather. And drinking gatorade and smoothies and eating ice cream.
But most of all, I love seeing the sun. Seattle has a reputation for rain but in all honesty it doesn't rain a lot here. More often that not it's overcast. Until living here, I didn't realize how important the sun was to me. But on day number 3 without it, I get stir crazy. So when summer arrives and the sun is in tow, my mood shifts to a notch that the people around me are grateful for. I feel like myself again.
But with sunshine and flowers come pollen, mold, dust and weeds.
I have come to realize that my allergies are their worst in the Northwest. All the moisture is what kills me. But along with the moisture come the best things about this season. So I choose to dope up on Zyrtec and Flonase and suffer in silence because damnit! I can't let something like itchy eyes, a sore throat and constant sneezing keep me from enjoying my favorite season.

It Gets Me Everytime

I'm on a secret mission right now. Can't talk about it because Logic's birthday is right around the corner and I'm pursuing some gift ideas, but I made a phone call while doing some research and spoke with a man named Robin. He was fresh off the boat from the U.K. and I have to be honest, I hardly remember what he told me. I was so mesmerized by his accent that I couldn't concentrate. I don't know what it is about those Brits, but their accents get me everytime.
Current crushes like Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Prince William, Christian Bale and Ralph Fiennes immediately come to mind.
Now I've lost my train of thought. Oh right, yummy Brits.
I think it's about time to watch Bridget Jones Diary again...

Walking the Walk

I just wanted to show this article from the New York Times:

---

March 18, 2007

Op-Ed Contributor

Worms in the Apartment

By COLIN BEAVAN

FOR the year beginning last December, my wife, our 2-year-old daughter and I, while living in the middle of the city, are trying to survive without making any net impact on the environment. This means we’ll get as close as we can to creating no trash (so no takeout), emitting no carbon dioxide (so no driving or flying) and pouring no toxins in the water (so no laundry detergent), as well as mitigating impacts we can’t avoid (so planting trees). Not to mention: no elevators, subways, buying products in packaging, plastics, air-conditioning, TV or toilet paper.

Though I’m ashamed to admit it, this is the first time I’ve substantially changed my life to reflect my beliefs. I have boycotted products that contributed to the hole in the ozone layer; written letters against the Japanese for hunting whales; called for an end to the poaching of Congolese gorillas; marched against the whites who controlled South Africa in the apartheid era; detested the Israeli killing of Palestinians; and despised Palestinian killing of Israelis. But I made the mistake of believing that condemning the misdeeds of others somehow made me virtuous.

With age, I even ratcheted down my political action and veered perilously close to joining that brand of liberal who whines about the world but doesn’t actually do anything about it. If I were still a student, I’d probably march against my adult self. And, as a member of that passive group of do-nothings, I was far from alone.

Prof. Arthur Brooks of Syracuse University, in his recent book “Who Really Cares,” published data showing that, for all our liberal ideology, people like me volunteer their time no more than conservatives, and we actually donate 30 percent less to charity. We even give less blood.

“It’s not that liberals are selfish,” Professor Brooks told me on the phone. Rather, he said, they worry that individual action lets everybody else off the hook. Believing to a large degree that, as Professor Brooks put it, “societal coercion is better than individual action,” they prefer to exert their efforts on grand schemes to change the government and the laws.

So people like me work to get out the vote, but feel entitled to heat our empty homes all day because, hey, we’ve done our best. Liberals, Professor Brooks said, “are suffering from cognitive dissonance — because the way they live their lives is not in accord with their ethics.”

And anyway, with global warming, there is no time to wait around for a strategy of “societal coercion” to take effect. But can individual New Yorkers really help? Isn’t this really a problem for the sub- and ex-urbanites who guzzle gas in their S.U.V.’s? After all, 78 percent of Manhattan households don’t even have cars — can’t we content ourselves with the eco-efficiency of our crammed-together little island? Not when you consider that, together with the rest of our state, New Yorkers make nearly 1 percent of the world’s carbon dioxide, the predominant greenhouse gas.

So my family and I have started our experiment in extreme environmental living. We keep a bin full of worms that turn our organic waste into compost. We make our own yogurt, staying away from those nasty plastic tubs. We grow herbs on our windowsills.

We’ve faced a million problems — how to make a meal without creating a mountain of plastic; how to bike through the city streets without ending up with a crushed skull; what to do about diapers — but we’re reaping some unexpected benefits.

With all the stair climbing, I’ve lost 15 pounds. We produce less than half a small bag of trash in a week. My wife loves riding her foot-propelled scooter to work. Family life now centers around the kitchen and dining table, where we talk, instead of around the TV, where we didn’t. Even parts of the banks of the Hudson were, a least for a while, a little cleaner because we spent an afternoon picking up garbage (including, God save me, plastic bottles full of urine thrown from vehicles on the West Side Highway). Most of all, we feel that we are not contributing so drastically to the world problems that worry us.

I’m not saying that we’ll retain our most extreme adaptations when the year is over. I don’t know. And I’m certainly not saying we’re doing more about the environment than others — there are many engaged, committed people who do much more than we do.

But I like to hope that, at least, we have stopped doing so much less.

Posted by Colin Beavan aka No Impact Man at 03:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBack (0)

Headline

"Arctic ice cap melting 30 years ahead of forecast"

I believe that the damage we're doing to the environment will come back to affect us/our grandchildren eventually but come on! 30 years in the grand scheme of the Earth's history isn't making much of a difference.

Customer Service

I was starving. Completely famished. So I decided I'd take a walk and figure out where I wanted to eat. I'd over-done Asian cuisine lately and since I work in the International District of Seattle my options were limited. So I picked the one and only hamburger joint in the area.
As I was looking over the menu, a woman went up to the counter and asked if she could have a hamburger with two bottom buns as she couldn't have sesame seeds. At first the Asian woman behind the counter didn't understand her and when she finally realized what the woman was asking, she told her she didn't want to waste the tops of the buns.
(How fucking lame is that? Buns are suddenly very expensive? When did menial cost come before customer service?)
At that point I jumped in and offered to take the two top buns so she could order the hamburger she was craving. I hadn't really decided on having a burger but was so frustrated with the lack of concern that I felt I had to. Granted, I know it was just a hamburger and the woman would have survived without it. But OMG! The whole situation was completely ridiculous.

~I just opened my burger. One top bun, one bottom. I hope she got what she ordered.

Losing Your Groove

Looks like someone is still Waiting to Exhale.

(Not Taye.. I just wanted to include a sexy picture of him. heehee)

In a Perfect World

I want to go to a salon where I can get a pedicure and cuddle with a puppy!

Music Is Making Me Sick

Do you ever just get tired of music?
I am having a hard time listening to it lately. I used to be a fan of most genres but now find myself deleting pop, indie rock, rap, r&b, and emo from my iPod.
Some I won't miss. For example: pop music. I've always hated the fact that I like pop, with it's teeny-bopper lyrics and overly airbrushed stars. But leaving r&b behind has been tough. r&b has been like a brother to me. It's gotten me through some rough times and also reminded me how much I love to dance. Yet lately, that's not enough.
It all seems so manufactured now. So out of touch with the real concept of music - art.
But what I find so frustrating is that even Sam Cooke and Stevie Wonder aren't able to pull me out of this rut. I've come to realize I'm overstimulated most of the day and when I add music to that it seems to elevate the feeling.
I sure hope this goes away soon. I miss switching the channel on the radio and getting excited because an oldie-but-goodie is on. Singing loudly in the car or dancing in my living room are also distant memories. Memories I wish to recreate sometime soon.
HELP! Music is making me sick!

Lifestyle

In the few days since the Buzz Cut Heard Round the World, I've struggled to avoid the articles. Partly because I think the media has already done enough damage but also because Britney's recent behavior is more and more unsettling.
I guess what scares me the most is having my own anxieties elevated by seeing America's own Pop Princess crack under the pressure of modern-life. Her face is a reflection of my own - one of fear and bewilderment - and it scares me to death to see this pedestaled pop tart having the same issues I do.
I already have a sneaking suspicion that more and more American's have anxiety and panic related disorders because of our lifestyle. We are constantly bombarded with information (injesting more news in a day that most people did in their lifetimes just a century ago) and succumbing to commercialism in its purest form. So it's no wonder that (in my opinion) some of the more sensitive are buckling under the pressure. Seeing Britney wander around aimlessly only solidifies my opinion that popular culture is killing us.
Just last week it was reported that Professor Mara Adelman asked her students at Seattle University to go on a media diet and live just one week without the modern conveniences of cell phones, iPods, computers and t.v. She wanted to prove that "the art of alone time is increasingly lost in our hectic, frazzled, wired lives". Her students protested so much that the study was stopped after 4 days.
Not to say that I think it'd be easy. In an average day I check my emails (3 different accounts) an uncountable number of times, I text message people and IM my sister. I also surf multiple sites such as: bloglines.com (so I can read your blogs) , cnn.com (for reliable news), msnbc.com (for more entertaining news), popsugar.com (for trashy entertainment news), fark.com (for strange news), gofugyourself.com (for celeb clothing mishap news) and that's just to name a few. I listen to my iPod at the gym (sometimes WHILE watching t.v.) and then go home and veg in front of the couch.
Recently I've been paying attention to how all of this media has been affecting the way I feel and I have yet to feel better after logging into my email or checking the latest headlines. But when I attempt to cut back on certain media outlets and overall-information-bombardment, I find myself feeling disconnected with society. So what's the happy medium? I'm still trying to figure that out. But mark my words: the more our society resembles Minority Report (insert scene where Tom's character is running down the street with advertisements flashing off buildings), the more anxiety and panic we are going to have.

Pet Peeves

Why do people hit the push button at a crosswalk more than once?

Just a Thought

It never occurred to me that even though I put people into categories, they themselves have no idea where they fit in.

Robots are Going to Take Over the World

Just another sign that we will soon be controlled by robots.

Question

Why do women marry men and expect them to act like women?

A Woman Should Have

My friend lilikoi forwarded this poem to me and I wanted to share it.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Enough money within her control to move out And rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to See Her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...A youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her Old Age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....One friend who always makes her laugh...And one Who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her Family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, And a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel Honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....A feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...HOW TO QUIT A JOB, BREAK UP WITH A LOVER, AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...When to try harder...And WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... That she can't change the length of her calves, The width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...That her childhood may not have been perfect...But it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...How to live alone...Even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Whom she can trust, Whom she can't, And why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...Where to go...Be it to her best friend's kitchen table...Or a charming inn in the woods...When her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...What she can and can't accomplish in a day...A month...And a year...

~

Maya Angelou

My Take on the Superbowl

My family is very sports-oriented so it came as a relief yesterday when, halfway through the Superbowl, I realized I wouldn't have to console anyone. My dad is from Detroit so his loyalty lies there - Lions, Pistons, Red Wings, Tigers (Lions, Tigers and Bears, oh my!). Logic was born in Utah so he is a die-hard basketball fan and loves the Jazz, but has only come around to liking football in the last few years. Jill is a Chargers fan, and Paige likes players who come from OSU, but doesn't follow a particular team.
Which means there were no Colts fans nor Bears fans that I would have to cheer up at the end of the game.
It was a wonderful feeling.

For Anyone Who Is Engaged

---

December 17, 2006

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

~ My friend Lili forwarded this questionaire to me. I thought it was interesting enough to pass along.