Great Blog

I am laughing out loud because of this blog.
Enjoy.

Favorite Summer Memories

After reading Rude Cactus a few days ago, I decided to post about my favorite memory of the summer.
Paige drove up with her family to celebrate the 4th of July with me. It was convenient to have them come up for a holiday weekend, but it was more than just hanging out during our independence weekend.
See, Paige arrived in America on July 4th - 28 years ago. She was born in Seoul, Korea and lived in a foster home for 2 years before joining our family. And since she is my nearest and dearest sibling I can't help but think of what my life would be without her. July 4th is my favorite holiday because it's the day she became my sister. Granted, I wasn't born for another 3 years, but without that day she wouldn't be my Onni.

Thank Fucking God

Finally! Science has proven what I believed all along.
Thanks Lachlan.

In a Box in my Basement

Similar to previous post only this list contains people that I would like to put in a box in my basement to prevent ever having to hear/see again.

1) obviously - Paris Hilton.
2) Lindsay Lohan.
3) Mario Lopez
4) Danny Bonaduce
5) Star Jones
6) Trishelle from the Real World Las Vegas
7) come to think of it - the entire Real World cast past and present
8) Kimberly Steward
9) Tara Reid. But I think I'll put her, Kimberly, Lindsay and Paris in one box to save on space.
10) Tori Spelling
11) Wilmer Valderama
12) Jesse Metcalfe
13) Montgomery Gentry (this was previously Toby Keith but he's grown on me. Plus I'd rather point out the idiocy of shooting a caged bear).
14) Moby
15) Hollywood Hulk Hogan
16) The Pussycat Dolls
and for Lushy (with whom I completely agree) - 17) Phil Collins

In a Box Under the Bed

I found this post to be so amusing that I had to pass it along.

It got me thinking about the men I'd like to hide under my bed.
I'll try to keep the list short since I'm sure Logic's boxes will take up some room too...

1) Dave Matthews
2) Doug Robb of Hoobastank
3) Josh Groban
4) Conan O'Brien
5) Adam Brody
6) Ryan Gosling
7) Jack White
8) Will Arnett

Body Art

On the ride home from the Wish Poosh campground I sat in the front of the truck with Logic and Jeff while Molly scrunched in the back. Due to the lack of space, I had my right arm over the seat.
Molly began counting my moles and whispered: "I wish I had a pen." Having heard that, I reached for the console and handed her a bic.

Cle Elum River Hike

This past weekend Logic and I went camping with a group of friends. Some closer than others, but it was nice to hang out with 9 other people around a campfire.
We didn't arrive until 11:30 on Friday night due to a small sign and a lack of light but because of our unexpected detour we knew a trailhead was only a few miles up the road.
So the next afternoon a group of us went to Salmon La Sac and hiked 6 miles through a mountain side and over to a river. It was a gorgeous hike that challenged me enough to thank my lucky stars for remembering to bring some water.

Brother Carries Fetus of Twin for Over 30 Years

What an interesting story.

For Those of You Who Don't Know My Mom

I guess I should talk about my monk-email and why I chose to pick on my mom.
See, my family is very "special". And I blame my dad for that. He is a very "unique" individual with a "rare" sense of humor.*
I'll give you some examples. Just don't expect them to make sense.

-He tells stories about how he wanted to name my eldest sister Paulution and that he almost convinced my mom to name me Gorbog.
-He pretends that his scars are from "the war" or some recent adventure. (ex:)
ME: "Dad what happened? You have a gash on your arm"
HIM: (as he walks in from mowing the lawn) "Oh, that old thing? Remember the time an alligator jumped over the fence and bit me? Well when I was just outside I noticed a tunnel and when I got closer I saw a man digging his way from China and it tore back open when I was helping him out."
-Anytime my 2nd sister meets someone new he asks her if they showed her their library card.
-When anyone receives a job offer, he admits to calling the employer ahead of time and explaining to them that he is a Shellback twice over.
-And the most relevant one: In college my mom passed out from malnutrition and her front teeth needed to be replaced. My dad tells the story a bit differently. See, in his eyes my mom had (and still has) a massive drinking problem and had her teeth knocked out one night at a bar. It doesn't stop there. Anytime my mom happens to be out, she is "sleeping off a hang-over" or "riding around in the cop car". He even went so far as to tell me that she saved up her aluminum cans for months and exchanged them for me on one of her benders in Tijuana.
It is because of that scenario that I just had to, let's be honest, exploit my mom.


*Parenthesis are used to signify a possible mental disorder in this situation.

Monkeying Around

I had so much fun with monk-email that I decided to share it with everyone. Thanks again to the Liberal Banana.

Does It Get Any Cuter Than This?

This is Charlie. She likes long walks on the beach and dressing up like a cave woman.*

If you would like to see more Pugs Dressed As Famous People you can go here.

*I made up the part about long walks on the beach, although I'm sure it's true.

Who Knew That Some Men Slept Through the Feminist Movement?

I am getting worked up. I decided to stop reading this article and formulate a few thoughts.
I find it infuriating that some asinine writer thinks that "career girls" are less likely to have a happy marriage. In my opinion he can shove his empirical evidence up his ass! Maybe the "low quality of marriage" comes from dicks like him who expect their wives to give up their goals and "hunker down to raise the kids". Are women the only ones who experienced the last 50 years? This article gives me the strangest sensation that I have gone back in time.

I encourage everyone to read it and it's counter-point (which I found very amusing) but in cause you're a busy career girl like I am, here are some examples of why I am so irritated ...

"A word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don't marry a woman with a career. Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner."..." If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble."

"Gary S. Becker argued that when the labor specialization in a marriage decreases--if, for example, both spouses have careers--the overall value of the marriage is lower for both partners because less of the total needed work is getting done, making life harder for both partners and divorce more likely. And, indeed, empirical studies have concluded just that."

"John H. Johnson examined data from the Survey of Income and Program Participation and concluded that gender has a significant influence on the relationship between work hours and increases in the probability of divorce. Women's work hours consistently increase divorce, whereas increases in men's work hours often have no statistical effect."

"The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you. "The work environment provides a host of potential partners."

"According to a wide-ranging review of the published literature, highly educated people are more likely to have had extra-marital sex (those with graduate degrees are 1.75 more likely to have cheated than those with high school diplomas.)"..."And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually-transmitted disease."..." In other words, a good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids."

Suddenly I feel a lot of pressure! I guess I should quit my job so my husband can live a long, happy and healthy life.

New Header... ha!

After reading The Liberal Banana a few days ago I decided to change the header on my blog... and then I got a little carried away.
Things might continue to change as long as I am entertained with HTML so please bear with me.

Here I Go Again...

Thanks middle-girl:


1. How tall are you barefoot? 5' 3" and some change
2. Have you ever been cheated on? yes
3. Do you own a gun? no
4. What do you think of hot dogs? haven't had one in forever, but I'm not opposed to having one again
5. What's your favorite Christmas song? I don't really like xmas songs
6. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? caramel macchiato
7. Do you do push-ups? yes
8. Have you ever done ecstasy? yes
9. Do you like Disney World? It's okay. I prefer Epcot.
10.Do you like the rain? sometimes
11.Do you own a knife? only the kind that are used in the kitchen
12.What do you smell like? Logic says I smell like baby powder, but I think that comes from my dove body wash
13.Do you have A.D.D.? no
14.Full initials? not giving em
15.Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: should I stay and work O.T. or leave and walk around downtown in the sun? I wonder how long I'll have to wait for Step Up to come out on dvd? Sorting out weekend plans
16. Name the last 3 things you have bought today: turkey pesto sammie, coffee, bagel
17. Name five drinks you regularly drink: water, caramel macchiatto, chocolate soy milk, crystal lite & Mo'beta smoothies.
18. What time did you wake up today? 6:20
19. Can you spell? fairly well
20. Current worries? the state of my checking account, how I'm going to convince Logic to let me get an expensive purse, the impending winter
21. Current hate? not a haterator
22. Favorite place to be? at the coast
23. Least favorite place to be? In a building without windows (unless it's a movie theater)
24. Where do you want to go? home
25. Do you own slippers? yes. I've had the same ones for over 10 years. They're still in good shape too.
26. Where do you think you will be in 10 years? probably still living in Seattle, still married to Logic, maybe talking about having babies.
27. Do you burn or tan? burn like a mofo
28. Yellow or blue? blue
29. Would you give up your current life to be a pirate? no. I like my bed
30. Last time your cell rang? this morning
31. What songs do you sing in the shower? I usually make up songs to sing to my cat George, who likes to sit on the side of the tub and meow at me.
32. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? a kidnapper
33. How much cash do you have on you? nada
34. Last thing that made you laugh? co-worker commenting on pretend relationships we've made up about our office-mates.
35. Best bed sheets you had as a child? Bert & Earnie. I loved those! On one side of my pillowcases Bert & Earnie were awake and on the other side they were sleeping.
36. Worst injury you've ever had? (knock on wood) I'd hate to jinx myself and have something worse happen. Probably a gashed knee. I'm very lucky.
37. Where have you been out of the US? Canada and Mexico.
38. Who is your loudest friend? probably my sister (not Paige)
39. Who is your most silent friend? ha! I don't have any of those.
40. Does someone have a crush on you? no
41. Do you wish on stars? nah
42. What song did you last hear? I'm listening to "We Run This" right now (by Missy Elliott)
43. What song do you want played at your funeral? You know, I heard a song yesterday that I really liked and thought would be pretty at a funeral, but it's title eludes me...
*Oh, and I dont' want a funeral. Unless you count my family and friends getting together to spread my ashes and tell stories about me.
44. What were you doing at 12:00 last night? sleepin' like a baby
45. First thought upon waking up this morning? wow! this is what it's like to get a good night's rest.

One Man's Racial Slur is Another Man's Adjective

Where does freedom of speech end and politically correct begin? We have turned into a culture that requires such phrases as 'physically challenged' and 'overeater' but we also have court battles over the 1st amendment.
So in a day and age like ours, I couldn't help but be surprised to find a racial slur in a comment from a customer at my job. But even more surprising is that our policy department doesn't consider this blatant insult worthy of a formal action. It seems that freedom of speech has taken the front burner and respect in the work place is not even on the stove.
Needless to say, I was not only shocked, but also furious that we were choosing to turn our backs on such an inappropriate, immature attack of words.
After much deliberation, I decided to rally the troops and figure out if I was the only one upset by this. Turns out I wasn't. Management is looking into our policies to see how we can prevent this from happening again.

Putting My Dignity Aside

I realize my credibility is on the line here. I'm trying to establish a reputation for being a reliable movie/music critic. So if you would like to continue taking me seriously, please disregard this post.
OMG! Channing Tatum is so hot!
If you enjoy dancing and eye candy you should see "Step Up".
I've already gone twice. ;)

Down with Western Medicine*

With medicine improving daily and cures looming in the not-so-distant future it might be difficult to understand why someone would choose to forego treatment for an otherwise deadly disease but at some point you have to conclude that the patient has researched the options and chosen what is best for them.
This is unless the patient is underage. In that case, a refusal to do 'typical' treatment turns into a court case that blames the parents for neglect.
When a story comes out about a child who is rejecting western medicine for a natural alternative, instictively I assume it has to do with the family's religion. But in the case of Starchild Abraham Cherrix it was due to quality of life. He was diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease at the age of 16 and began chemotherapy.
After his first round of treatment he declined to continue with the treatment. It was at that time that the state intervened. He and his family went to court to fight for his right to choose what course of action to take. And a compromise was agreed upon today which will allow Starchild to try out alternate forms of treatment so long as he visits his oncologist every three months and continues to progress.
This was a relief to me because I found myself cheering for his right to try The Hoxley Method (which includes an organic diet as well as taking herbs instead of the traditional chemo). At 16, I would hope he is mature enough to understand his choices. And, in my opinion, quality of life is so much more important than being deathly ill with chemo.

*in this particular case

Masochistic

I started reading "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by David Sedaris last night. I could have easily stayed up all night reading it. But I have this thing that I like to do. When I find something that I really enjoy I try to revel in it as long as possible. In an attempt to take in every morsel of something, I torture myself by stopping and waiting instead of devouring it.
I also do this with movies, ice cream, catalogues and even getting the mail when I know there's a package for me.
Does anyone else do this?

Dear Paige, I Love You

Within the last year I've come to realize that my family isn't as "white picket fence" as I thought. Call it growing up, call it a panic-attack induced realization, I don't care. All I know is that I can never go back to thinking my family is perfect.
I could go on forever with examples, but today I'm choosing to focus on one particular situation. That is the relationship that I have with Paige versus the relationship she has with the rest of the family.
Growing up, Paige and I didn't get along (rather she didn't like me) but I think we had to go through that to get where we are today. I understand her in a way that most others don't - and won't unless they make more of an effort. What the rest of the family might not understand though, is that Paige isn't who they think she is.
She is a very complex person. She's not just the shy, sensitive person that is portrayed during family gatherings. That is just a cover. That is who she has to be to protect herself from feeling hurt. And after a lifetime of being misunderstood, I don't blame her for hiding herself from others. It's probably feels much safer that way.
Now this is where it gets complicated. Paige wants everyone else to know who she is, but she's too scared to show it. And the rest of the family is oblivious to any of this.
What they don't realize is that Paige is a sardonic, creative, impressively thoughtful and generous person. She lives her life knowing that she has to face obstacles that others aren't even aware of.
Our family has no idea how much the adoption has affected her or how important it is for her to feel included. And no, she is not needy. Just in need of being part of our family.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

When Logic and I tore up our carpet this weekend we didn't take into account that our cats would freak out about the temporary concrete flooring. Otherwise we would have waited to remove the carpet after the maple flooring arrived.
I plan on having rugs ready to go down the same day as the maple. I just hope that I'm able to get a good night's sleep in the meantime.
Who knew that cat claws would be so loud?