March 09, 2009

Fast Asleep

A good friend recently told me that it's normal for someone who is laid off to be hard on themselves afterward. This pearl of wisdom came after I told her that I felt deserving of my recent lack of employment. Even though that conversation was only 2 days ago, I can honestly say it feels so far in the past.
Last night I had difficulty sleeping, so I laid in bed for hours thinking about my future. You know - the one that is wide open now. I shifted from thinking about my previous job to realizing that I don't want something similar. I had spent all last week looking for the same job with a different name when I could have been focusing on something much more suitable for me.
Regardless of how influential my performance was in my unemployment, I hated my job. It consisted primarily of the type of work I don't enjoy doing. There were statistics for how to do the investigations correctly, statistics for financials, even statistics for the employees' performances. I am not a numbers person.
I like adjectives, emotions, expressing opinions, gaining new insight, creating positive change. My previous job was none of those things.
As soon as I realized that I am truly in a position for creating positive change in my own life, I fell fast asleep.

2 comments:

Whiskeymarie said...

Good for you for using this to gain perspective and hopefully doing something more fulfilling and meaningful for employment. It's a total cliche', but sometimes really good things come out of bad situations.

Gail Peck said...

You have gained great wisdom that often takes people years to learn. My neighbor told me the other day that a friend of theirs was laid off from a big corporate job at Starbucks. I expressed sympathy and she said he wanted to get laid off and do something entirely different. This recession will prove not only that everything does happen for a reason but another cliche--every cloud has a silver lining. Sounds corny but in my experience it is true.