Happy Birthday, You're a Grown Up

Birthdays don't suck because you're getting older. They don't suck because it's a constant reminder of the things you want to do but haven't yet.
No, birthdays suck because they will never be as good as they used to.
When you get older, people forget about your birthday. People who are important to you. Like your co-workers, that you see everyday. Or the friends that you've kept in touch with for 15 years. Those friends that call you the second their baby takes its' first step but can't even remember to call you and be excited about the day you were born.
So instead of waking up to streamers and a box full of cupcakes that you have to maneuver through bus aisles and classroom doors, you wake up to "happy birthday honey" (if you're lucky enough to have a significant other who cares enough to remember) and a nice swift kick in the ass once you head into work and realize that, back there in bed, was the only recognition you will get today.
Your birthday.