A few weeks ago, while in Salt Lake City, I was irritable. The entire trip was draining and I just wanted to be home. On top of all the stress, I had a 10 year old attached to my leg. She wanted to do everything I did, and go everywhere I went. It was impossible to enjoy the time with her because her behavior was so taxing. Halfway through lunch one day it hit me. THIS is how my older siblings felt about me. All I wanted whenever we were together was to spend time with them. I would cancel plans, change my routine, if only to spend more time with them. And as I struggled to get their attention, they became more and more annoyed with me.
It was at that moment that I felt a shift in the way I viewed the relationship I have with them. I realized that I'd been putting forth all the effort for something that suddenly felt very false.
This feeling wasn't as surprising as I'd expected. I guess I'd felt this way for quite some time. But spending that time with my neice was what brought those feelings to the surface.
1 comment:
I used to think that had there been a larger age difference between me and my brothers our relationship might be better-but then again...
My mom is 22 years younger than her oldest sister. She's often said she never felt like a sister.
Family dynamics are so, well, dynamic.
Being in the company of a young person who hangs on your every word and every move, is daunting physically & emotionally-yet enlightening, as you've noted.
Interesting insight.
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