What Upsets Me More Than Anything

I am a very empathetic person. I feel other people's emotions as if they were my own. This has been a burden all my life. And a great source of anxiety for me.
Recently I've been making a conscious effort to seperate myself from other people's emotions and to try and focus on what *I* am feeling. But today I had a relapse.
I'd been doing so well. On the drive home from work I could hear about Logic's stressful day without it affecting my mood. I could even read the news again without getting worked up. But when I spoke to my brother this morning I couldn't help but get upset.
To give you a little backstory, Kihl was adopted from Korea when he was 5. He witnessed his mother's death and remembers being abandoned by his father. Moving to America wasn't much easier. He grew up in a small town in Idaho where his peers thought it was funny to call him racial names.
I don't blame him for being edgy and closed off. But as much as I understand his resentment for what he went through, I get fed up when he decides to take it out on our parents.
Kihl is 10 years older than I am. He is a responsible person. He has a nice apartment close to downtown that is bigger than my condo. And yet he never offers to have our parents stay with him when they visit. In fact, in the 3 times they've been here, they haven't even seen his place. He typically stops by my place to say hi and occassionally takes our parents out to dinner. But that is the extent of it. So when my parents suggested coming to the Northwest for Christmas I immediately knew we would need to push our renovations into fast-forward.
I have no problem with that. I love having my parents around and cherish any time I get to spend with them. As the weeks turned into days and our cement flooring turned into maple, Logic and I got increasingly excited to show my parents all the work we've put into our place.
Since Kihl has Tuesdays off, the plan was to have him pick our parents up at the airport around 3:00. Logic and I would meet up with them at a restaurant downtown for a 7:oo reservation and then take them home with us afterward. This would give me time to work a few extra hours while they spent time with Kihl and Logic would be able to attend his office holiday party.
So when I received a call from Kihl this morning, I was expecting a brief update about our dinner reservation. But instead, he mentioned dropping our parents off at my condo straight from the airport. I honestly thought he was kidding because this is typical humor for him. But when my mom called from the San Francisco Airport to confirm that their next flight was on time she mentioned that she'd see me when I got home.
Surprised to hear that, I had to get confirmation from her that Kihl was serious about taking them to my empty condo. She reiterated his story, only with pain in her voice. I suggested that he may have been kidding, but if he wasn't that I'd leave work and head home to greet them.
Our phone call ended and I went back to work. Only I couldn't concentrate. My mom's voice kept repeating in my head. I could feel how upset she was. The kind of pain you feel when your child hurts you.
I called Logic because I was upset. Then he got upset. Not only did he hate the idea of them sitting at our place by themselves but he resented the fact that he'd worked so hard on our place and wasnt' even going to get the reward of seeing their faces when they got there. He asked that I call Kihl back and confirm the plans so we could make alternate arrangements if necessary.
So I called Kihl.
I said: "were you serious about dropping Mom and Dad off at my condo straight for the airport?" Kihl: "yeah. I thought they might like to relax and freshen up before dinner."
me: "you think our parents would rather sit in an empty condo than spend an afternoon with you? they came up here to see you too, you know?"
Kihl: "if you don't want me to take them to your place I won't."
me: "I don't want you to. But if you are too busy to spend time with them, you could drop them off at my office because I would be more than happy to hang out with them."
Kihl: "okay, well I'll figure something out."
me: "will you call me when you know what you're doing?"
Kihl: "okay, bye."
As I got off the phone, I could feel the tears welling up and my face getting hotter.
He can stand me up all he wants. Make an effort to spend the holidays with his girlfriend's family, and not ours. Whatever. But don't be a jerk to our parents.