Within the last year I've come to realize that my family isn't as "white picket fence" as I thought. Call it growing up, call it a panic-attack induced realization, I don't care. All I know is that I can never go back to thinking my family is perfect.
I could go on forever with examples, but today I'm choosing to focus on one particular situation. That is the relationship that I have with Paige versus the relationship she has with the rest of the family.
Growing up, Paige and I didn't get along (rather she didn't like me) but I think we had to go through that to get where we are today. I understand her in a way that most others don't - and won't unless they make more of an effort. What the rest of the family might not understand though, is that Paige isn't who they think she is.
She is a very complex person. She's not just the shy, sensitive person that is portrayed during family gatherings. That is just a cover. That is who she has to be to protect herself from feeling hurt. And after a lifetime of being misunderstood, I don't blame her for hiding herself from others. It's probably feels much safer that way.
Now this is where it gets complicated. Paige wants everyone else to know who she is, but she's too scared to show it. And the rest of the family is oblivious to any of this.
What they don't realize is that Paige is a sardonic, creative, impressively thoughtful and generous person. She lives her life knowing that she has to face obstacles that others aren't even aware of.
Our family has no idea how much the adoption has affected her or how important it is for her to feel included. And no, she is not needy. Just in need of being part of our family.
1 comment:
What a marvelous tribute. I'm glad your relationship blossomed and seems to be serving you both well.
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