courtesy of World Wildlife News
December 31, 2007
Kurt Vonnegut on Writing Rules
In his book Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction, Vonnegut listed eight rules for writing a short story:
- Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
- Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
- Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
- Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
- Start as close to the end as possible.
- Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
- Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
- Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
Vonnegut qualifies the list by adding that Flannery O'Connor broke all these rules except the first, and that great writers tend to do that.
~courtesy of wikiDear 2008,
I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but I was hoping to put in a few requests...
1) Could you please make this a great year for my friend, Lilikoi? 2007 sucked balls for her and I think she deserves a stellar one to compensate. 2) Would you consider having less rain than your 2007 counterpart? Just in the Seattle area. I know there are plenty of places that need the rain; maybe you could spread the love this year? 3) Do you think you could be generous with your time? I'm going back to school and will be juggling that with work and a social life with Logic. It'd be really great if you could help me out so I can find the time to study and sleep. Please?
4) Finally, could you keep an eye on my loved ones? Maybe steer them out of harm's way? And shower them with sunshine when they're feeling down? Thanks for taking the time to listen and I hope you put all the other years to shame.
1) Could you please make this a great year for my friend, Lilikoi? 2007 sucked balls for her and I think she deserves a stellar one to compensate. 2) Would you consider having less rain than your 2007 counterpart? Just in the Seattle area. I know there are plenty of places that need the rain; maybe you could spread the love this year? 3) Do you think you could be generous with your time? I'm going back to school and will be juggling that with work and a social life with Logic. It'd be really great if you could help me out so I can find the time to study and sleep. Please?
4) Finally, could you keep an eye on my loved ones? Maybe steer them out of harm's way? And shower them with sunshine when they're feeling down? Thanks for taking the time to listen and I hope you put all the other years to shame.
December 28, 2007
Orientation
I completed a year and a half of college before moving to Florida with Logic. Looking back, I really should have stayed to complete my AA but I was in love and in a hurry to see the world. Naively, I believed I'd continue school in Jacksonville. I even registered and took 2 classes my first semester there. But half way through the semester I learned that my credits from Oregon wouldn't transfer and instead of taking all General Ed classes over, I chose to halt my education until we moved back to the West Coast.
So I quit school, got a full time job and brought home the bacon while Logic finished up with his BS. (How appropriate that Bachelors of Science is the same as Bull Shit. Just my opinion.) A month after his graduation, we packed up a U-Haul and drove cross-country for the second time. We settled into Seattle and I waited for residency to kick in so I could apply to the UW. But somewhere along the way things got complicated and I got scared. We bought a condo and moved to the West Seattle peninsula. Time progressed and so did my fear of managing school with my ever-expanding grown-up responsibilities. So I put it off. And then I got sick of my job. That pushed me to finally make the leap and I applied to the UW day program in July. And then I waited. And waited.
It wasn't until November 30th that I finally received a letter from school, only it wasn't what I wanted to hear. They'd turned me down. No explanation, no nothing. I moped around for 2 days before Logic brought it up.
There had been a blue slip in the UW packet that asked me to apply to the Evening Degree Program instead. When I first read it, I considered it a slap in the face. "You're not good enough for our day program, but our standards for the night classes are really low so you should look into it." Logic asked me to consider it. He talked about how much he enjoyed the few night classes he took at JU because the students were focused and mature. There weren't girl's giggling in the corner about haircuts and shoes and no guys around talking about their latest conquests. No, the night classes were full of adults. Hard working adults who were making sacrifices to be there.
Not wanting to lump myself in the 'adult' category quite yet, I squirmed at the thought of being surrounded by OLD PEOPLE. But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to look at the curriculum. Interesting classes jumped out from the website more often than I expected and I found myself comparing the schedule I thought I wanted to the one that was staring me in the face. And it seemed the new one was winning. So I decided to apply. Just to see what would happen. And you know what? I got in.
Last night I went to Orientation and met with advisers from financial aid, registration, the health center, the English program and even talked with a Professor from Anthropology. Today I am meeting with an adviser to set up my schedule for classes and in two weeks I'll actually be a student! I can't believe this is finally happening!
So I quit school, got a full time job and brought home the bacon while Logic finished up with his BS. (How appropriate that Bachelors of Science is the same as Bull Shit. Just my opinion.) A month after his graduation, we packed up a U-Haul and drove cross-country for the second time. We settled into Seattle and I waited for residency to kick in so I could apply to the UW. But somewhere along the way things got complicated and I got scared. We bought a condo and moved to the West Seattle peninsula. Time progressed and so did my fear of managing school with my ever-expanding grown-up responsibilities. So I put it off. And then I got sick of my job. That pushed me to finally make the leap and I applied to the UW day program in July. And then I waited. And waited.
It wasn't until November 30th that I finally received a letter from school, only it wasn't what I wanted to hear. They'd turned me down. No explanation, no nothing. I moped around for 2 days before Logic brought it up.
There had been a blue slip in the UW packet that asked me to apply to the Evening Degree Program instead. When I first read it, I considered it a slap in the face. "You're not good enough for our day program, but our standards for the night classes are really low so you should look into it." Logic asked me to consider it. He talked about how much he enjoyed the few night classes he took at JU because the students were focused and mature. There weren't girl's giggling in the corner about haircuts and shoes and no guys around talking about their latest conquests. No, the night classes were full of adults. Hard working adults who were making sacrifices to be there.
Not wanting to lump myself in the 'adult' category quite yet, I squirmed at the thought of being surrounded by OLD PEOPLE. But curiosity got the best of me and I decided to look at the curriculum. Interesting classes jumped out from the website more often than I expected and I found myself comparing the schedule I thought I wanted to the one that was staring me in the face. And it seemed the new one was winning. So I decided to apply. Just to see what would happen. And you know what? I got in.
Last night I went to Orientation and met with advisers from financial aid, registration, the health center, the English program and even talked with a Professor from Anthropology. Today I am meeting with an adviser to set up my schedule for classes and in two weeks I'll actually be a student! I can't believe this is finally happening!
December 27, 2007
The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2007
Ballsy: (but totally true)
9. You
Charges: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism -- it's nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself over. You still think Republicans favor limited government. Your knowledge of politics and government are dwarfed by your concern for Britney Spears' children. You think buying Chinese goods stimulates our economy. You think you're going to get universal health care. You tolerate the phrase "enhanced interrogation techniques." You think the government is actually trying to improve education. You think watching CNN makes you smarter. You think two parties is enough. You can't spell. You think $9 trillion in debt is manageable. You believe in an afterlife for the sole reason that you don't want to die. You think lowering taxes raises revenue. You think the economy's doing well. You're an idiot.
Exhibit A: You couldn't get enough Anna Nicole Smith coverage.
Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated disorder that your health insurance doesn't cover. You deserve it, chump.
~courtesy of buffalobeast.comDecember 24, 2007
December 21, 2007
The Year in Review - 2007
I was signing Holiday cards the other day and it got me thinking about the things I wanted to share with my friends; things that I may have forgotten to tell them through email, text or phone calls. This, in turn, got me thinking about what an amazing year I've had. And how little time I've taken to appreciate it. (In an effort to have more time to appreciate it, I'm going to write in list form to speed this up.)
JANUARY
-Drove 7 hours to Willamette Pass to go on a ski trip that didn’t actually involve any skiing (but was still fun).
-Visited by Logic's parents
-Discovered that I have an introvert living inside me who enjoys reading, writing and exercise just as much as the extrovert likes social interaction.
FEBRUARY
-My friend, Melanie won the Card Counting Competition at the Bellagio, breaking the record with 7.8 seconds!
-Received a VHS tape from my parents of a marathon of Cosby Show episodes. Even though I couldn’t find my VCR, I loved their intention. It made me smile.
-Got my groove back in a Hip Hop class
-Fell in love with Flickr
MARCH
-Learned some interesting trivia (ex: All polar bears are left handed.)
-Received a sweet letter from my three year old niece asking me to come play with her.
-Took the wrong bus again and wound up in
APRIL
-Narrowly missed getting crapped on by a bird
-Went to
-Did a trial run a month before I was actually supposed to go to a Bridal Shower
MAY
-Hurt my back again
-Went to a funeral
-Went through jogging-withdrawl
-Celebrated my 5th year wedding anniversary
JUNE
-Saw Barack Obama and Austin Scarlett within a week of each other
-Booty continued to get bigger despite regular gym schedule
-Logic turned 27
-Gave my old therapist the boot
JULY
-Spent the weekend before Paige’s 30th Anniversary of her Adoption with her and her children
-Visited
-Watched The Last King of Scotland and had nightmares for weeks
-Went to my first Gay Pride Parade
AUGUST
-Bawled my eyes out during a Mia Michaels choreographed dance
-
-Learned a new form of abstract art from my mom
- Took a trip to Bainbridge Island to tour the Bloedel Reserve
-Cried most of the way through Out of Africa
-Hit Allison in the face with a soccer ball not once, not twice, but three times! Later won the award for worst Aunt ever
-Tried making home made ice cream with disgusting results
SEPTEMBER
-Went camping at Mt Rainier
-Saw a few Mariner’s games
-Met up with a childhood friend
-Flew to
-Went to Jury Duty for the first time and discovered that I rather liked it
-Bought a new-to-me Volvo
OCTOBER
-Read “Eat, Pray, Love” for the first time (I’m on round 2 right now)
-Turned 28
-Went bowling with my work crew and actually had some fun
-Spent my birthday with my parents and husband
-Traveled to
-Found a new therapist after having a mini-meltdown in Canada
-Discovered Lush
NOVEMBER
-Spent Thanksgiving with three dudes
-Had a visit from Paige and her family
DECEMBER
-Celebrated Allison’s 4th Birthday with her
-Endured a big storm
-Got permission from Jesus himself not to believe in him
-Received an amazing compliment from a writer I admire
December 19, 2007
I'm Having A Moment
A few years ago a co-worker introduced me to blogging. She is a mentor to me, and has been since my very first day on the job. As a scared fish thrown into a big pond to figure things out on my own, she was there to explain and guide me until I learned my way around.
Little did she know when she showed me her blog that she would be giving me a tool I would desperately need in the coming months. Anxiety would rear its ugly head in a way I had never experienced before and writing became this cathartic savior for me. (If you're really bored, you can read through some previous posts and see, very obviously, which days were spent struggling to make sense of the mis-firings in my head.) Somewhere along the way, I found my voice and learned to dissect my thoughts. I credit this blog for a lot of that.
In the beginning, I searched blogs for inspiration and guidance. Some of them are still in my blog-roll while others have gone by the wayside. I love the interaction that this world provides. And more importantly, reading other people sort through their shit too; and come out stronger and wiser. I love that this forum provides lessons in life and that it's not all happy endings and butterflies. These are real lives, real stories and real solutions.
One such blog came to me through flickr. I can't even remember how I stumbled upon flickr, but it quickly tied for first place with blogspot for my affection. One of the first random pictures I saw was of a mother and daughter. It was pure emotion. Creamy white skin merged with cocoa-butter skin in such a natural way. I stared at it for a long time just loving how open this person was with her life. So willing to share. From that day forward, I have tried to follow her photography, and in turn, I started reading her blog.
Today I casually read her post "You Can't Miss What You've Never Had...Except Once In A While" and had to do a double take when she included one of my posts in her story. I guess you could say I had a Moment. I admire her creativity through writing and photography immensely. So for her to say Banter was "beautiful, funny and touching"; well that just blew me away.
It just goes to show how powerful this medium is.
Little did she know when she showed me her blog that she would be giving me a tool I would desperately need in the coming months. Anxiety would rear its ugly head in a way I had never experienced before and writing became this cathartic savior for me. (If you're really bored, you can read through some previous posts and see, very obviously, which days were spent struggling to make sense of the mis-firings in my head.) Somewhere along the way, I found my voice and learned to dissect my thoughts. I credit this blog for a lot of that.
In the beginning, I searched blogs for inspiration and guidance. Some of them are still in my blog-roll while others have gone by the wayside. I love the interaction that this world provides. And more importantly, reading other people sort through their shit too; and come out stronger and wiser. I love that this forum provides lessons in life and that it's not all happy endings and butterflies. These are real lives, real stories and real solutions.
One such blog came to me through flickr. I can't even remember how I stumbled upon flickr, but it quickly tied for first place with blogspot for my affection. One of the first random pictures I saw was of a mother and daughter. It was pure emotion. Creamy white skin merged with cocoa-butter skin in such a natural way. I stared at it for a long time just loving how open this person was with her life. So willing to share. From that day forward, I have tried to follow her photography, and in turn, I started reading her blog.
Today I casually read her post "You Can't Miss What You've Never Had...Except Once In A While" and had to do a double take when she included one of my posts in her story. I guess you could say I had a Moment. I admire her creativity through writing and photography immensely. So for her to say Banter was "beautiful, funny and touching"; well that just blew me away.
It just goes to show how powerful this medium is.
December 18, 2007
December 14, 2007
A First
Last night, after 5 years of marriage and 9 years together, I did the unthinkable.
During a moment of innocent teasing, I managed to find myself trapped in the kitchen with the husband manning the door, ready to pounce.
He taunted me. "What are you going to do now?"
And without thinking, I turned around, shoved my ass in the air, and farted.
During a moment of innocent teasing, I managed to find myself trapped in the kitchen with the husband manning the door, ready to pounce.
He taunted me. "What are you going to do now?"
And without thinking, I turned around, shoved my ass in the air, and farted.
December 13, 2007
Fun With Meditation
I had a talk with Jesus today.
I was lying on a cloud, minding my own business when he floated over. We talked awhile and he told me it was alright if I didn't want to believe that he was God. He said I could believe whatever I wanted. He also gave some great advice about what to do when times get tough. He said I should just let it go. And ride the wave.
Did I mention Jesus talked like a surfer?
I was lying on a cloud, minding my own business when he floated over. We talked awhile and he told me it was alright if I didn't want to believe that he was God. He said I could believe whatever I wanted. He also gave some great advice about what to do when times get tough. He said I should just let it go. And ride the wave.
Did I mention Jesus talked like a surfer?
Okay, But Only Because Everyone Else Is Doing It...
I have Wish-list envy. It seems that every blog I look at now has a wish-list up. And it has me thinking about mine. I'd like to break the list down to things I came up with myself and things I'm stealing from other lists because they are JUST THAT COOL. So here goes...
I'm just that cool and came up with these on my own:
Big Hug Christmas Ornament
An Affair To Remember
Riedel O Pink Champagne Glasses
Cinema Paradiso
VW Fahrenheit
Bathbombs
a Puppy!
or another Puppy!
Pajamas
24-inch: 2.8GHz iMac
They're just that cool and need to be repeated:
Diana Camera From Sexy Lexi
Psychedelic Wellies From Ruby Soho
December 12, 2007
Banter
As some of you may know, my dad and I email back and forth throughout the day. In the morning, our conversations are about how our previous evenings were spent and what our intentions for the day are. But as the morning turns into afternoon, our conversations digress and we find ourselves making up silly stories. To the untrained eye, it would sound like jibber-jabber but between the two of us, it is full of inside jokes and a lot of teasing about my mom.
For instance, I think I've said this before too, we like to kid that my mom is a drunk. Not funny in most situations (and I don't mean to make light of a very serious condition), but we find humor in it because in all actuality, my mom rarely drinks alcohol. And somewhere along the line, we agreed to include drugs into our little fantasy.
So today, when our banter turned into this:
Dad: Don't look now, but you have some mustard on your upper lip.
Me: How did that mustard get there? I haven't had a hot dog for 2 days now.
Dad: You need to wash your face more than ever four or five days.
Me: Well, no one told me that.
Dad: Not even your mother?
I couldn't help but reply with this:
Me: You sound surprised.
How does her saying go again?...
Wash my face?
What's the point?
I have Mary Kay.
Now pass the joint.
For instance, I think I've said this before too, we like to kid that my mom is a drunk. Not funny in most situations (and I don't mean to make light of a very serious condition), but we find humor in it because in all actuality, my mom rarely drinks alcohol. And somewhere along the line, we agreed to include drugs into our little fantasy.
So today, when our banter turned into this:
Dad: Don't look now, but you have some mustard on your upper lip.
Me: How did that mustard get there? I haven't had a hot dog for 2 days now.
Dad: You need to wash your face more than ever four or five days.
Me: Well, no one told me that.
Dad: Not even your mother?
I couldn't help but reply with this:
Me: You sound surprised.
How does her saying go again?...
Wash my face?
What's the point?
I have Mary Kay.
Now pass the joint.
December 11, 2007
Bathbomb Template
This was the color of my bathwater! Isn't it be-oo-tiful? If you can, try to imagine the scents of lavender, lemon and seaweed. Then add the frothy foam created during the bomb's eruption and throw in a deep turquoise color for effect. Ahhh yes, that's it.
How relaxing.
Choosing a Path
My parents are driving to Amarillo today so that my dad can meet with a dietitian. When asked why, my dad replied by saying something about his age and how he wanted to make sure he was eating the right things to stay healthy. And while I applaud him for being proactive, I can't deny that the conversation freaked me out a little bit.
My parents are old. And not in the 'everybody says their parents are old' kind of way. While I am the tender age of 28, my mom is 65 and my dad is going to be 70 in April. Those are the breaks when you're the youngest of six children. (And I will forever be left knowing that my older siblings all spent more time with our parents than I ever will.)
I should count myself lucky because I enjoy spending time with my parents. I know my situation isn't exactly the norm. For one, my parents are still married. Over forty years of marital work, and they are still going strong. For another, they're great parents. And to sum up what could potentially be a very long list, they're pretty damn fun too. But all of those pros don't take away from one big con: we won't be growing into old age together.
After talking to my dad, my anxious mind went into a similar spiral to the one I just exhibited. I was saddened at the thought of my parents not remaining their spry selves. Of their embarrassment when the time comes for them to need help doing daily tasks. And the realistic potential of consoling one after the other one passes. But I quickly realized that I was leading myself down an unhealthy path. After all, the 'what ifs' are a token sign of anxiety. And once I start down that road, it gets harder and harder to turn around and rush back to safety.
So instead I chose to remind myself that this is a habit I'm trying to break. No one knows the future so there is no need to fret about it. The only thing worrying will do is lead me right down the path I'm trying to avoid.
So I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face. That's a good start.
My parents are old. And not in the 'everybody says their parents are old' kind of way. While I am the tender age of 28, my mom is 65 and my dad is going to be 70 in April. Those are the breaks when you're the youngest of six children. (And I will forever be left knowing that my older siblings all spent more time with our parents than I ever will.)
I should count myself lucky because I enjoy spending time with my parents. I know my situation isn't exactly the norm. For one, my parents are still married. Over forty years of marital
After talking to my dad, my anxious mind went into a similar spiral to the one I just exhibited. I was saddened at the thought of my parents not remaining their spry selves. Of their embarrassment when the time comes for them to need help doing daily tasks. And the realistic potential of consoling one after the other one passes. But I quickly realized that I was leading myself down an unhealthy path. After all, the 'what ifs' are a token sign of anxiety. And once I start down that road, it gets harder and harder to turn around and rush back to safety.
So instead I chose to remind myself that this is a habit I'm trying to break. No one knows the future so there is no need to fret about it. The only thing worrying will do is lead me right down the path I'm trying to avoid.
So I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face. That's a good start.
Robert Benchley
"There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't."
December 08, 2007
Share a Story, and a Meal
Sometimes it's easy to feel helpless. For example, on my way to work, I pass a part of town that is popular with Seattle's homeless. There's usually a person or two begging for money at the off-ramp, but for that one person, there are four more huddled together in a car or finding shelter under the bridge.
When I can, I try to share my lunch but as I pass along my orange or my sandwich, I can see the huddle of people in the shadows and my attempt to help suddenly doesn't feel like enough.
I'm sure you can think of a time when your gesture to help didn't seem like enough either. But at least you did something. Helping one person in their struggle just might pay it forward, so to speak. So if you'd like to pay it forward today, here's your chance. Why not share a story here?
For every story you share, Country Crock will donate a meal through Second Harvest.
Go on. I'm sure you can think of something.
When I can, I try to share my lunch but as I pass along my orange or my sandwich, I can see the huddle of people in the shadows and my attempt to help suddenly doesn't feel like enough.
I'm sure you can think of a time when your gesture to help didn't seem like enough either. But at least you did something. Helping one person in their struggle just might pay it forward, so to speak. So if you'd like to pay it forward today, here's your chance. Why not share a story here?
For every story you share, Country Crock will donate a meal through Second Harvest.
Go on. I'm sure you can think of something.
December 06, 2007
December 05, 2007
I Need a Beer
Today has been rather stressful. The holidays will do that around here. Plus, Logic had some complications when trying to buy a new cell phone today (seems they want to charge him an extra $40 a month for the service required for the phone) AND someone kept trying to fax something to my cell phone number AND I had a difficult account. AND...
December 04, 2007
Random Thoughts
Today's is a real doozy. I was sitting in the bathroom (where I have all of my profound thoughts) when this went through my mind:
"I may have been rejected by UW and I may be one of only 3 people at work without a laptop but at least I'm not fat."
"I may have been rejected by UW and I may be one of only 3 people at work without a laptop but at least I'm not fat."
November 29, 2007
November 26, 2007
Gusteau
"If you're focused on what you've left behind, you will not be able to see what lies ahead."
~from Ratatouille
~from Ratatouille
Cyber Monday
After a weekend full of rest I was tricked by my body into thinking I was on the mend, but at precisely 1:00 today I was brutally reminded that I am, in fact, still sick.
My head is suddenly heavy, my back - sore. My mind is groggy. And I want to run out the door. (See what I just did there?)
Anyway, this illness has reduced my humor to predictable poetry. And I just want to go home.
Damn you Cyber Monday!
My head is suddenly heavy, my back - sore. My mind is groggy. And I want to run out the door. (See what I just did there?)
Anyway, this illness has reduced my humor to predictable poetry. And I just want to go home.
Damn you Cyber Monday!
November 23, 2007
It's The Little Things
I read Lach's blog the other day and really enjoyed her post about the little joys - those wonderful memories that came from an ordinary day. It got me thinking about mine.
Montana was really hard for me. I felt isolated, in more than one sense, and I was fighting with my mom all the time (I hear 16 year-olds do that). One day my dad suggested he and I go for a jog. We bundled up and shuffled across snow and ice, and had a really great time doing it. So we made it a ritual. He would come home from work and we'd change into our sweats and mittens. Sometimes we would talk and sometimes we would enjoy the crunching of the snow below our feet, our crisp breathing, and the occasional deer scampering across the road. That kind of silence can only be found during a Montana winter.
The morning after Logic proposed to me, I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I stared at the ring for a long time, feeling excited and scared all at once. (Marriage is a huge commitment, after all.) I so badly wanted to go across the hall and tell my friend, Lilikoi, but she wasn't awake yet. So I tried to occupy my time. I showered, lotioned up with Cotton Blossom (that smell will forever remind me of that day) and listened to some Shania Twain. Then I heard her use the sink. I bolted to my feet and barged into her room. With my arm behind my back, I tried to act casual but ended up belting out that Logic proposed. As I whipped my arm around, she had to stabilize it because I was shaking. And the rest is a blur.
I was staying with Laurie for the summer and had just returned from a day of work at the mall. I walked through the front door and heard the jingling of a collar. The next thing I knew my parent's dog, Maggie, came running down the hallway to greet me. Instinctively I knelt down to pet her and when I stood back up, I saw my parents standing in the bedroom. They'd driven 7 hours to surprise us with an extended weekend trip. It was a wonderful surprise.
Paige and I shared a room in Kennewick, much to her dismay. I was 10, she was 15. She set up a barrier to try and maintain some privacy and sense of personal space. If memory serves, it was a string that she strategically wrapped around all the important things in our room. (My side of the room had my bed and a path to the door.) So on the days when Paige wasn't mad at me, I got to "share" the room with her. We would do chores together and even help each other make our beds. She would get on one side and I'd be on the other, and then we'd race to see who could finish their side first. One particularly fun day, I remember racing Paige as the song Kokomo by the Beach Boys came on the radio. That song still brings a smile to my face.
Montana was really hard for me. I felt isolated, in more than one sense, and I was fighting with my mom all the time (I hear 16 year-olds do that). One day my dad suggested he and I go for a jog. We bundled up and shuffled across snow and ice, and had a really great time doing it. So we made it a ritual. He would come home from work and we'd change into our sweats and mittens. Sometimes we would talk and sometimes we would enjoy the crunching of the snow below our feet, our crisp breathing, and the occasional deer scampering across the road. That kind of silence can only be found during a Montana winter.
The morning after Logic proposed to me, I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I stared at the ring for a long time, feeling excited and scared all at once. (Marriage is a huge commitment, after all.) I so badly wanted to go across the hall and tell my friend, Lilikoi, but she wasn't awake yet. So I tried to occupy my time. I showered, lotioned up with Cotton Blossom (that smell will forever remind me of that day) and listened to some Shania Twain. Then I heard her use the sink. I bolted to my feet and barged into her room. With my arm behind my back, I tried to act casual but ended up belting out that Logic proposed. As I whipped my arm around, she had to stabilize it because I was shaking. And the rest is a blur.
I was staying with Laurie for the summer and had just returned from a day of work at the mall. I walked through the front door and heard the jingling of a collar. The next thing I knew my parent's dog, Maggie, came running down the hallway to greet me. Instinctively I knelt down to pet her and when I stood back up, I saw my parents standing in the bedroom. They'd driven 7 hours to surprise us with an extended weekend trip. It was a wonderful surprise.
Paige and I shared a room in Kennewick, much to her dismay. I was 10, she was 15. She set up a barrier to try and maintain some privacy and sense of personal space. If memory serves, it was a string that she strategically wrapped around all the important things in our room. (My side of the room had my bed and a path to the door.) So on the days when Paige wasn't mad at me, I got to "share" the room with her. We would do chores together and even help each other make our beds. She would get on one side and I'd be on the other, and then we'd race to see who could finish their side first. One particularly fun day, I remember racing Paige as the song Kokomo by the Beach Boys came on the radio. That song still brings a smile to my face.
Happy Leftover Day!
1 six pound turkey
2 pounds of green beans
12 large potatoes
1 head of romaine
2 pounds of seabass
8 servings of stuffing
1 pumpkin pie
and 4 people.
Ah, the day of gluttony.
November 22, 2007
November 15, 2007
Agatha Christie
"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
~I saw this quote today on mrrr_55's photos on flickr. He usually has a quote for every photo. Today's stood out for some reason.
~I saw this quote today on mrrr_55's photos on flickr. He usually has a quote for every photo. Today's stood out for some reason.
November 14, 2007
Photosynthesis
Today's 4:30 feels like July's 10:00. Granted, the sun never really surfaced today but it sure is dark outside. For the first time since early Spring, I had to pull out my Go-Lite for some good juju. This little $150 contraption is a necessity in Seattle. Or a tanning bed, but I hear those are more expensive and slightly more harmful for your skin.
Last night Logic and I watched part of the Discovery Channel's mini-series Planet Earth . The segment called Pole to Pole talked about Antarctica to the North Pole and everything in between. Some of it was breath-taking, some depressing and some made me giggle (like watching baby polar bears walk for the first time). But one thing I found to be really interesting was that trees don't grow above a certain latitude because the sun's rays never make it all the way to the Earth. Sure, the sun is shining in the sky, but it's not close enough to provide energy for photosynthesis.
Which leads me to the mantra getting me through today - Hey! Seattle might be gray but at least we get photosynthesis.
Last night Logic and I watched part of the Discovery Channel's mini-series Planet Earth . The segment called Pole to Pole talked about Antarctica to the North Pole and everything in between. Some of it was breath-taking, some depressing and some made me giggle (like watching baby polar bears walk for the first time). But one thing I found to be really interesting was that trees don't grow above a certain latitude because the sun's rays never make it all the way to the Earth. Sure, the sun is shining in the sky, but it's not close enough to provide energy for photosynthesis.
Which leads me to the mantra getting me through today - Hey! Seattle might be gray but at least we get photosynthesis.
November 13, 2007
Inappropriate Yoga Guy
Logic is out of town, which means I am not carpooling into work. I love this for several reasons (sorry Ozone):
-I can sleep in (my schedule is more flexible than his so as long as I get in my forty hours, I can pretty much come and go as I please)
-read above
-I can tailor my day around gym classes
So yesterday I woke up late and got into work with just enough time to work eight hours and get to the gym in time for yoga. But after rushing across town, changing clothes and unfolding my mat in a classroom with 27 other people (I counted), the instructor never showed. Two people went to the front desk to see what was going on and left without much information. There wasn't even so much as an apology, but that's another story. So as people began to file out of the room, one girl asked if anyone had any experience because she was really looking forward to this class.
Knowing full well what was about to happen, I decided to stick around for the entertainment value.
You see, there were these two guys that I'd noticed when we were waiting for the room to be available. They were your typical Inappropriate Yoga Guys.And it was obvious that they would be vying for the opportunity to show off in front of a group of girls.
I was right. One of them got up and starting explaining how uncomfortable he was with being in front of everyone (gag) and then proceeded to thrust his body from one awkward pose to another. After watching a few attempts at what he called yoga, I rolled up my mat and left.
-I can sleep in (my schedule is more flexible than his so as long as I get in my forty hours, I can pretty much come and go as I please)
-read above
-I can tailor my day around gym classes
So yesterday I woke up late and got into work with just enough time to work eight hours and get to the gym in time for yoga. But after rushing across town, changing clothes and unfolding my mat in a classroom with 27 other people (I counted), the instructor never showed. Two people went to the front desk to see what was going on and left without much information. There wasn't even so much as an apology, but that's another story. So as people began to file out of the room, one girl asked if anyone had any experience because she was really looking forward to this class.
Knowing full well what was about to happen, I decided to stick around for the entertainment value.
You see, there were these two guys that I'd noticed when we were waiting for the room to be available. They were your typical Inappropriate Yoga Guys.And it was obvious that they would be vying for the opportunity to show off in front of a group of girls.
I was right. One of them got up and starting explaining how uncomfortable he was with being in front of everyone (gag) and then proceeded to thrust his body from one awkward pose to another. After watching a few attempts at what he called yoga, I rolled up my mat and left.
November 12, 2007
November 10, 2007
The Struggle
I woke up to a loud crash. Assuming George tried to eat the bamboo and in turn, tipped over the vase, I sat for a second. Nothing. No scampering of tiny feet , no rocks hitting the floor. Choosing to err on the side of caution, I pulled myself out of bed only to discover no such thing. To confirm my findings, I put my glasses on and retraced my steps. Nothing had fallen. Nothing was out of place.
And as I looked up instinctually to realize it was most likely a mess my upstairs neighbor had made, I saw a perfect part in the sky. Half the sky was swirling with grey cumulus clouds and the other half was as clear as a summer's day. For the next twenty minutes I watched the struggle; cheering for the blue. But typical to the beginning of any good story, the grey overtook the crisp, clear sky and reminded me of my location.
And as I looked up instinctually to realize it was most likely a mess my upstairs neighbor had made, I saw a perfect part in the sky. Half the sky was swirling with grey cumulus clouds and the other half was as clear as a summer's day. For the next twenty minutes I watched the struggle; cheering for the blue. But typical to the beginning of any good story, the grey overtook the crisp, clear sky and reminded me of my location.
November 08, 2007
Need a Smile?
The only rule:
Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. Hearing a cat's purr.*
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25.. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change..
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
~Thanks to Jade for sending this to me. I needed it today.
*changed slumber party for a cat's purr as I agree with Deb
Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. Hearing a cat's purr.*
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25.. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change..
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
~Thanks to Jade for sending this to me. I needed it today.
*changed slumber party for a cat's purr as I agree with Deb
November 05, 2007
So I Don't Forget
Because if I don't write it down, I will.
All the jobs I've ever had:
Babysitting:
-4 kids under the age of 6 and I was 12. You do the math.
-Subbing for a family Paige used to sit for. I made chicken and rice casserole fordinner only to find out that the rice had moths in it.
-Staying with my eldest sister during the summers of 1992-1997 to help her with 2 daughters. At the end of the summer I went school shopping with the money.
Pizza Hut:
My first real job. Taxes taken. I got the job because my friends Brittney and Renee worked there. Three years spent waiting tables, bussing, hosting, doing dishes and occasionally cooking. It was your typical high school job. We took beer in soda cups, had parties in the back when the boss wasn't around and dated our co-workers. My boss, Omar, and I did not get along. (I'm not even sure what it was about him, but he really pushed my buttons. I was actually sent home a few times for arguing with him.) It was while I was working there that I got a phone call from Paige saying she was engaged. I also heard that my ex-boyfriend Aaron was killed in a car accident while working there.
A Day Care:
That lasted a week. I worked out of someone's home and it was she, I and about 12 kids. I'm pretty sure that's illegal, now that I think about it. Aren't there supposed to be 1 adult for 3 kids, or something like that? Anyway, that job made me never want to have kids. There were just too many of them to get things under control.
A Toy Store:
Supplemented income during a summer at Laurie's. She wasn't working much so there wasn't really a need for me to be there. But I think my parents were happy to get me out of the house for a few months. Since I was there, and didn't have much to do, I got a job at the mall working in a toy store. Almost as bad as the day care. And again, another reason in the "cons" field for having kids. Oooh, I remember this one toy. It was a train that made noises when it moved. I could go the rest of my life without hearing that damn train toy again. But the worst part of that job was having to count the till at the end of the night. Math is not my forte, to say the least. As the clock ticked down to the end of my shift, my hands would begin to sweat and I would begin to tremble. It was me versus the machine and I always lost. In the 3 months that I worked there, I don't think there was a single time that I balanced that son of a bitch.
Techtronics:
After graduating high school and moving in with Paige in Portland I tried to get a job as a nanny. Ironic since I'd twice convinced myself that I never wanted kids. But it seemed like the thing to do if I wanted to go to college. Take care of kids during the day, and go to school at night. But after 2 months of mooching off Paige and having nothing to do but TaeBo all day, I went to a temp agency. I had to take tests. Lots of tests. But the most surprising was when they ushered me into a room with motherboards and printers and had me follow instructions. I really should have tried harder to get it wrong, but damnit I passed those tests and was assigned a job at Techtronics.
I worked in a warehouse in 4 ten hour shifts. Training lasted a week and then our class was split up to do various assignments. I was the youngest one there. There were a lot of immigrants and social skills seemed to be lost in translation. There was one Russian man in particular that didn't understand it was unacceptable to follow an 18 year old girl around all day. The situation was brought to management's attention but it was taken lightly. Until one day, he cornered me in the breakroom and as soon as I got away from him, I ran to my boss and demanded something be done. The Russian was transferred to the night shift, but that only made doing my job easier. He would be finishing his shift when I arrived and coming in as I was leaving, so I still saw him regularly and he still overstepped the lines by waiting by my car and following me to the bathroom. I quit three months into it.
After Techtronics I decided I needed a more teenage-appropriate job. So I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch. The thing about going from a warehouse with hard working immigrants to a frat house (aka A&F) was that I had no patience for the people who preferred to socialize over help customers. And I took a big pay cut. So two months into working there, I picked up a day job at
Cucina! Cucina! Italian Grill as the lead host. The restaurant was in the parking lot of the mall I worked at so I would often open the restaurant and work the lunch shift and then change clothes and work at A&F until midnight. This put a damper on my intentions of going to school. I quickly learned that being a grown-up was expensive. It was during those first few months at A&F that Logic was diagnosed with Hodgkins so it wasn't long before he moved back to Roseburg and our relationship turned long-distance. Six months of that was tough, especially since I wanted to be there for him. So in November of '99 I packed up my .. hmm. Well, I didn't really have much. I guess I just packed my suitcase and moved to Roseburg.
I'd been offered a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car before the move, so after unloading my clothes at my new apartment, I reported for my first day as a Car Prep (ie: bitch). It was exciting to tell people I worked at Enterprise because it sounded very responsible, but in all actuality, I was treated worse there than even at Pizza Hut. I cleaned cars, I picked up customers, I cleaned toilets, I did lunch runs. And I put up with that for a year.
Again, to make more money, I decided to get a second job. This time it was at a place called Ridgeway Market. A little mom and pop convenience store that also had a coffee drive-thru. That job would have been okay had the owners not been maniacal, sadistic tightwads. There were post it signs everywhere. "Don't do this" and "vacuum here" to the point where I didn't want to do my work just to spite them. And the security cameras weren't set up to protect us from robberies. No, they were there so the owners could monitor our ice cream consumption! I can't remember how long I worked there, but I think it was around six months. And then one day a woman came into the store to get a coffee and mentioned that she was doing interviews for servers at the new Applebee's that was going up by the freeway. I applied, along with another girl at the Market and we both got the job.
I started at Applebee's in June of 2000 and went through a month of training before the restaurant even opened. Since Roseburg isn't exactly a metropolis, Applebee's was the talk of the town. We were finally getting a chain restaurant! The day that we opened was complete mayhem, but in a good way. Everyone wanted to come see what Applebee's was about. And everyone wanted to work there. Having gone through extensive training together, our team had a strong bond. We all went to the same college and hung out before work. And then Logic asked me to marry him and move to Florida. So we traveled cross-country in our U-Haul without a place to stay or a source of income.
Within a week, however, we had an apartment and I was a server at Hop's Microbrewery. I waited tables there for nine months while I went to school and then found out none of my previous credits transferred. So I dropped out of school, resigning myself to go when we moved back to the West Coast (where my credits were still good) and graduated to bartender. But shortly after becoming a bartender I realized that I wasn't cut out for it. Sure, I liked making all the drinks and socializing with people but I hadn't anticipated having to fend off every drunk that thought I was cute. Typically, the guys were random and moved on to the next girl after they were rejected by me. But one guy in particular wouldn't leave me alone. His tips were always amazing and at first the girls all vied for his tab. But then he started requesting me and started making inappropriate comments whenever I'd take him a beer. Having dealt with this before, I used my strongest voice and informed him I was married. But the cat-calls continued. And then one night he took it too far. And my management didn't do anything about it. I no longer felt safe and had no other option but to quit.
After that, I decided I didn't want to bartend anymore so I took a job waiting tables at Carrabba's. The owner was really intense and didn't take kindly to excuses. I liked that about him. Especially since restaurant work was leaving me jaded. I was tired of picking up other people's slack and having to compensate for their lack of cleanliness, etc. Carrabba's was fun, and I made some good friends there. But after a year of making $2.13 an hour plus tips and not having health insurance, Logic and I decided it was time for me to get a 'real job' until he could graduate and we could move.
Citibank Fraud Department turned out to be that 'real job' for me. I went through six weeks of training before moving down to a large room with 60 other people answering fraud related questions for customers over the phone. It was really exciting. At first. And then the monotony kicked in. "Hello, this is _______, how may I help you? Oh, your credit card was stolen. Please hold while I access your account." (insert voice similar to "Bueller? Bueller?) I was promoted to specialty unit that investigated mail fraud but luckily the time had come for Logic to graduate and we picked the spot farthest from Florida on the map and got the hell out of there.
-Another move across country, another U-Haul, and again - no shelter, no job. Luckily, we'd saved up this time, which would turn out to be detrimental. I tried to off-shoot a company my sister started that was somewhat similar to catering while Logic looked for post-collegiate work. Three months later, he finally accepted a job at Lowe's and I was working with about 3 restaurants. Money was tight. So again, I took a second job. During the day I would run around like crazy, trying to start up my business and at 2:00 I would show up at Buca di Beppo's to coordinate their holiday functions for the next five hours.
Nine months after starting up my own company, I laid it to rest. The Seattle market was extremely fickle and my heart was no longer in it. I also couldn't see myself coordinating functions for Buca di Beppo for much longer so I did what I'd been dreading. I put my application out on the web in search of another fraud related job.
A week after signing up with Monster.com, I received a phone call from a temp agency wanting to place me with a contracting position at Amazon.com. Having felt defeated in all other realms of work, I accepted. Nine months of contract work turned into a permanent position on their fraud team. That was three years ago.
(to be continued...)
All the jobs I've ever had:
Babysitting:
-4 kids under the age of 6 and I was 12. You do the math.
-Subbing for a family Paige used to sit for. I made chicken and rice casserole fordinner only to find out that the rice had moths in it.
-Staying with my eldest sister during the summers of 1992-1997 to help her with 2 daughters. At the end of the summer I went school shopping with the money.
Pizza Hut:
My first real job. Taxes taken. I got the job because my friends Brittney and Renee worked there. Three years spent waiting tables, bussing, hosting, doing dishes and occasionally cooking. It was your typical high school job. We took beer in soda cups, had parties in the back when the boss wasn't around and dated our co-workers. My boss, Omar, and I did not get along. (I'm not even sure what it was about him, but he really pushed my buttons. I was actually sent home a few times for arguing with him.) It was while I was working there that I got a phone call from Paige saying she was engaged. I also heard that my ex-boyfriend Aaron was killed in a car accident while working there.
A Day Care:
That lasted a week. I worked out of someone's home and it was she, I and about 12 kids. I'm pretty sure that's illegal, now that I think about it. Aren't there supposed to be 1 adult for 3 kids, or something like that? Anyway, that job made me never want to have kids. There were just too many of them to get things under control.
A Toy Store:
Supplemented income during a summer at Laurie's. She wasn't working much so there wasn't really a need for me to be there. But I think my parents were happy to get me out of the house for a few months. Since I was there, and didn't have much to do, I got a job at the mall working in a toy store. Almost as bad as the day care. And again, another reason in the "cons" field for having kids. Oooh, I remember this one toy. It was a train that made noises when it moved. I could go the rest of my life without hearing that damn train toy again. But the worst part of that job was having to count the till at the end of the night. Math is not my forte, to say the least. As the clock ticked down to the end of my shift, my hands would begin to sweat and I would begin to tremble. It was me versus the machine and I always lost. In the 3 months that I worked there, I don't think there was a single time that I balanced that son of a bitch.
Techtronics:
After graduating high school and moving in with Paige in Portland I tried to get a job as a nanny. Ironic since I'd twice convinced myself that I never wanted kids. But it seemed like the thing to do if I wanted to go to college. Take care of kids during the day, and go to school at night. But after 2 months of mooching off Paige and having nothing to do but TaeBo all day, I went to a temp agency. I had to take tests. Lots of tests. But the most surprising was when they ushered me into a room with motherboards and printers and had me follow instructions. I really should have tried harder to get it wrong, but damnit I passed those tests and was assigned a job at Techtronics.
I worked in a warehouse in 4 ten hour shifts. Training lasted a week and then our class was split up to do various assignments. I was the youngest one there. There were a lot of immigrants and social skills seemed to be lost in translation. There was one Russian man in particular that didn't understand it was unacceptable to follow an 18 year old girl around all day. The situation was brought to management's attention but it was taken lightly. Until one day, he cornered me in the breakroom and as soon as I got away from him, I ran to my boss and demanded something be done. The Russian was transferred to the night shift, but that only made doing my job easier. He would be finishing his shift when I arrived and coming in as I was leaving, so I still saw him regularly and he still overstepped the lines by waiting by my car and following me to the bathroom. I quit three months into it.
After Techtronics I decided I needed a more teenage-appropriate job. So I worked at Abercrombie and Fitch. The thing about going from a warehouse with hard working immigrants to a frat house (aka A&F) was that I had no patience for the people who preferred to socialize over help customers. And I took a big pay cut. So two months into working there, I picked up a day job at
Cucina! Cucina! Italian Grill as the lead host. The restaurant was in the parking lot of the mall I worked at so I would often open the restaurant and work the lunch shift and then change clothes and work at A&F until midnight. This put a damper on my intentions of going to school. I quickly learned that being a grown-up was expensive. It was during those first few months at A&F that Logic was diagnosed with Hodgkins so it wasn't long before he moved back to Roseburg and our relationship turned long-distance. Six months of that was tough, especially since I wanted to be there for him. So in November of '99 I packed up my .. hmm. Well, I didn't really have much. I guess I just packed my suitcase and moved to Roseburg.
I'd been offered a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car before the move, so after unloading my clothes at my new apartment, I reported for my first day as a Car Prep (ie: bitch). It was exciting to tell people I worked at Enterprise because it sounded very responsible, but in all actuality, I was treated worse there than even at Pizza Hut. I cleaned cars, I picked up customers, I cleaned toilets, I did lunch runs. And I put up with that for a year.
Again, to make more money, I decided to get a second job. This time it was at a place called Ridgeway Market. A little mom and pop convenience store that also had a coffee drive-thru. That job would have been okay had the owners not been maniacal, sadistic tightwads. There were post it signs everywhere. "Don't do this" and "vacuum here" to the point where I didn't want to do my work just to spite them. And the security cameras weren't set up to protect us from robberies. No, they were there so the owners could monitor our ice cream consumption! I can't remember how long I worked there, but I think it was around six months. And then one day a woman came into the store to get a coffee and mentioned that she was doing interviews for servers at the new Applebee's that was going up by the freeway. I applied, along with another girl at the Market and we both got the job.
I started at Applebee's in June of 2000 and went through a month of training before the restaurant even opened. Since Roseburg isn't exactly a metropolis, Applebee's was the talk of the town. We were finally getting a chain restaurant! The day that we opened was complete mayhem, but in a good way. Everyone wanted to come see what Applebee's was about. And everyone wanted to work there. Having gone through extensive training together, our team had a strong bond. We all went to the same college and hung out before work. And then Logic asked me to marry him and move to Florida. So we traveled cross-country in our U-Haul without a place to stay or a source of income.
Within a week, however, we had an apartment and I was a server at Hop's Microbrewery. I waited tables there for nine months while I went to school and then found out none of my previous credits transferred. So I dropped out of school, resigning myself to go when we moved back to the West Coast (where my credits were still good) and graduated to bartender. But shortly after becoming a bartender I realized that I wasn't cut out for it. Sure, I liked making all the drinks and socializing with people but I hadn't anticipated having to fend off every drunk that thought I was cute. Typically, the guys were random and moved on to the next girl after they were rejected by me. But one guy in particular wouldn't leave me alone. His tips were always amazing and at first the girls all vied for his tab. But then he started requesting me and started making inappropriate comments whenever I'd take him a beer. Having dealt with this before, I used my strongest voice and informed him I was married. But the cat-calls continued. And then one night he took it too far. And my management didn't do anything about it. I no longer felt safe and had no other option but to quit.
After that, I decided I didn't want to bartend anymore so I took a job waiting tables at Carrabba's. The owner was really intense and didn't take kindly to excuses. I liked that about him. Especially since restaurant work was leaving me jaded. I was tired of picking up other people's slack and having to compensate for their lack of cleanliness, etc. Carrabba's was fun, and I made some good friends there. But after a year of making $2.13 an hour plus tips and not having health insurance, Logic and I decided it was time for me to get a 'real job' until he could graduate and we could move.
Citibank Fraud Department turned out to be that 'real job' for me. I went through six weeks of training before moving down to a large room with 60 other people answering fraud related questions for customers over the phone. It was really exciting. At first. And then the monotony kicked in. "Hello, this is _______, how may I help you? Oh, your credit card was stolen. Please hold while I access your account." (insert voice similar to "Bueller? Bueller?) I was promoted to specialty unit that investigated mail fraud but luckily the time had come for Logic to graduate and we picked the spot farthest from Florida on the map and got the hell out of there.
-Another move across country, another U-Haul, and again - no shelter, no job. Luckily, we'd saved up this time, which would turn out to be detrimental. I tried to off-shoot a company my sister started that was somewhat similar to catering while Logic looked for post-collegiate work. Three months later, he finally accepted a job at Lowe's and I was working with about 3 restaurants. Money was tight. So again, I took a second job. During the day I would run around like crazy, trying to start up my business and at 2:00 I would show up at Buca di Beppo's to coordinate their holiday functions for the next five hours.
Nine months after starting up my own company, I laid it to rest. The Seattle market was extremely fickle and my heart was no longer in it. I also couldn't see myself coordinating functions for Buca di Beppo for much longer so I did what I'd been dreading. I put my application out on the web in search of another fraud related job.
A week after signing up with Monster.com, I received a phone call from a temp agency wanting to place me with a contracting position at Amazon.com. Having felt defeated in all other realms of work, I accepted. Nine months of contract work turned into a permanent position on their fraud team. That was three years ago.
(to be continued...)
November 02, 2007
Good Karma
November 01, 2007
Tags for My Flickr Account
abigfave abstract alki anawesomeshot aplusphoto arboretum arbortetum arches art bainbridgeisland ballard baseball bath bathtime beach bench birthday black blue blurry bouquet brick bridge bus butchartgardens candles canyon car castle cat celebrity cloud clouds construction courtyard curves dance delicatearch dog dumpr face family fence ferriswheel flower flowers food friends game garage garden gate gaypride grandma green groom grove hawaii house hug impressedbeauty kitty lantern leg light magnolia maple mariners memorial mirror moab moon mountains mtrainier nephew northshore northwest oahu ocean ohanapecosh old olympics orange palmtrees parade parentsvisit park pathway patriarchs people pergola pink pioneersquare portland potash pridefest pugetsound punchbowl purple reception red reflection rocks roof roses sand scenery school seattle seattlecenter shadow shoes sidewalk sign signs sisters sistersweekend sky sleeping smiling snow spokane spring stairs stairway street summer summertime sunglasses sunlight sunset temple the tile trail trainstation trampoline tree triptovictoria umbrella unicycle utah victoria water waterfall waterfight wedding white winter yellow
Back To The Old Template
I fooled around. Had my fun. But ultimately, came back to my true love. We just work.
October 30, 2007
What's A Girl To Do...
when she realizes her shirtdress is more of a shirt than a dress after she's arrived at work? Such is my dilemma today. You live and learn.
Spirited Away
My friend Daniel dressed as a young Elton John but as the night wore on, he went around with my beard as Komangi from Spirited Away.
Pretty funny if I must say so myself.
October 29, 2007
Pay It Forward - Fark
"Owner of local gas station wins lottery and cuts the price of gas by over 50% at his gas pumps so local residents can share in the happiness"
October 26, 2007
A Tale of What Might Have Been, Had My Conscience Not Gotten In The Way
Let it be said that Logic and I hate Halloween. From the parties and costumes to the snotty nosed kids. But when we found out our friend, Don was having a costume party at his house we were excited. His parties are always fun and we hadn't seen that group of friends in a while so we agreed to go.
I'm not even sure how it transpired, but Logic and I decided that he'd dress up as a priest and I would be an altar boy (wig, freckles and all). We both got a real kick out of the idea and immediately started shopping for our costumes.
But something happened between then and now and we're starting to feel guilty. (Damn that Catholic guilt!) Sure, the plan was to shock but we certainly don't want to offend any of our friends and we're suddenly afraid that we're taking it too far.
What do you think? Would you be offended? And if so, do you have any suggestions as to how my costume can still compliment Logic's priest getup?
*Update:
I think I've come up with another costume. How about this:
Logic is still a priest and I'll be a rabbi. We'll be a literal joke: A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar...
Any takers?
I'm not even sure how it transpired, but Logic and I decided that he'd dress up as a priest and I would be an altar boy (wig, freckles and all). We both got a real kick out of the idea and immediately started shopping for our costumes.
But something happened between then and now and we're starting to feel guilty. (Damn that Catholic guilt!) Sure, the plan was to shock but we certainly don't want to offend any of our friends and we're suddenly afraid that we're taking it too far.
What do you think? Would you be offended? And if so, do you have any suggestions as to how my costume can still compliment Logic's priest getup?
*Update:
I think I've come up with another costume. How about this:
Logic is still a priest and I'll be a rabbi. We'll be a literal joke: A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar...
Any takers?
October 25, 2007
"Human Pin Cushion"
The length that people will go to in an effort to have a boy in China. This woman believes her grandparents inserted over 25 pins into her in an attempt to change her sex. Years later, the late grandparents missed seeing her be rushed into surgery after finding blood in her urine.
"[The needles] had penetrated vital organs such as the lungs, kidney and liver, while a needle in her brain had broken into three pieces.
Others in her chest were lodged near major arteries."
No word on why the grandparents thought poking their granddaughter with 26 pins would turn her into a boy.
October 22, 2007
I Carry Your Heart (I Carry It In My Heart)
I watched the movie In Her Shoes yesterday. I went into it with some trepidation because Cameron Diaz can make or break a film. But Toni Collette and Shirley MacLaine prompted me to watch it anyway.
It starts out with a younger sister and an older sister in their same old rut. The younger, Cameron, is irresponsible and the older, Toni, takes care of her. But Cameron's character finally goes too far and Toni forces her out. It's a story of what it's like to be a sister. Loving, hating, fighting, hating some more, growing apart and then growing up.
There is one scene in particular that stood out for me and made me think of my sister, Paige. She and I have had our ups and downs. Lots of loving, hating, fighting, hating.... and I think we've finally reached a plateau. A place where we have accepted each other for who we are and also loved each other for that. I'm sure our relationship will continue to change but this poem will always sum it up:
It starts out with a younger sister and an older sister in their same old rut. The younger, Cameron, is irresponsible and the older, Toni, takes care of her. But Cameron's character finally goes too far and Toni forces her out. It's a story of what it's like to be a sister. Loving, hating, fighting, hating some more, growing apart and then growing up.
There is one scene in particular that stood out for me and made me think of my sister, Paige. She and I have had our ups and downs. Lots of loving, hating, fighting, hating.... and I think we've finally reached a plateau. A place where we have accepted each other for who we are and also loved each other for that. I'm sure our relationship will continue to change but this poem will always sum it up:
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
October 20, 2007
Lush
While in B.C., I stumbled upon a bath shop called Lush. I'd never heard of it but later realized there was a location a mile from my office in Seattle. Anyway, in the shop there are buckets and buckets of bath bombs, soaps, lotions, shower jellies and more. I couldn't help myself - I scoured every bucket until deciding on the perfect six bombs to get.
I'm a girl who loves her bath time so this store was like heaven to me. I picked out a variety of bombs for every occasion (sex bomb to waving, not drowning) and rushed to the register, hoping to bring them home and enjoy them all before waking up from the dream.
I held onto that bag for dear life and stashed it in a safe place as soon as we returned home. And last night, after an intense yoga session I had a chance to use my first bomb. For the life of me, I can't remember it's name now but let me tell you - it was amazing. After twenty minutes in the bath, I began to worry that I couldn't get out. Literally, I couldn't move. But when the effervescing stopped and the water began to cool off, I mustered up the strength to pull myself out. Nearly 18 hours later, I may be out of the tub, but I am still feeling the relaxing effects of that bomb.
October 16, 2007
Yoga Journal
"Every now and then I notice there's a part of me that just watches all this, a witness, and seems to be very steady. It's a definite presence, and it feels loving. It's the part of me that wants everything to work out for the best for all of us, and somehow knows that it will."
courtesy of "Give Me Strenth"
courtesy of "Give Me Strenth"
A Glimpse
I love adventure. I love learning. I love travel.
But a few years ago, something in me switched and the easy-going, free-spirited me shut down and bolted the doors. I can still see out from where I am today, but I am a shriveled lump in the center of my soul. Something scared me and I've been on sick-leave ever since.
So in the meantime, my replacement has taken office. This faux-me still loves all the same things only she has newly formed obstacles that prevent her from doing them without fear and anxiety. A new voice occupies her head. And this voice is menacing. Instructing this faux-me to see things differently. To find fault and aggression where it doesn't exist. And to create tremendous upheaval where there used to be peace.
This last weekend was a perfect example. A trip to Canada would have been a pleasant adventure three years ago but to faux-me it was a relentless tornado of insecurity and fear. Irrational thoughts popped into her head and buried themselves deep into her psyche. Overtaking any trace of contentment, they poked and prodded until hitting the right nerve.
The negative thoughts swirled throughout her entire body; causing turmoil in every inch until finally- finally her body rejected them in the form of vomit. As soon as the venomous words hit the pavement she felt immediate relief. Her head cleared simultaneously with her stomach and she allowed the real me to get a glimpse. A glimpse of the mess she's allowed to control her.
The faux-me will do that occasionally. Tease me with the reality of what life used to be and could still be, had I not tripped that switch. A life of curiosity equaling excitement and a zest for endless opportunities. A strong, witty, defiant me that wouldn't take shit from anyone and mowed past those minuscule antagonizers with a grace that butterflies would envy.
But a few years ago, something in me switched and the easy-going, free-spirited me shut down and bolted the doors. I can still see out from where I am today, but I am a shriveled lump in the center of my soul. Something scared me and I've been on sick-leave ever since.
So in the meantime, my replacement has taken office. This faux-me still loves all the same things only she has newly formed obstacles that prevent her from doing them without fear and anxiety. A new voice occupies her head. And this voice is menacing. Instructing this faux-me to see things differently. To find fault and aggression where it doesn't exist. And to create tremendous upheaval where there used to be peace.
This last weekend was a perfect example. A trip to Canada would have been a pleasant adventure three years ago but to faux-me it was a relentless tornado of insecurity and fear. Irrational thoughts popped into her head and buried themselves deep into her psyche. Overtaking any trace of contentment, they poked and prodded until hitting the right nerve.
The negative thoughts swirled throughout her entire body; causing turmoil in every inch until finally- finally her body rejected them in the form of vomit. As soon as the venomous words hit the pavement she felt immediate relief. Her head cleared simultaneously with her stomach and she allowed the real me to get a glimpse. A glimpse of the mess she's allowed to control her.
The faux-me will do that occasionally. Tease me with the reality of what life used to be and could still be, had I not tripped that switch. A life of curiosity equaling excitement and a zest for endless opportunities. A strong, witty, defiant me that wouldn't take shit from anyone and mowed past those minuscule antagonizers with a grace that butterflies would envy.
October 11, 2007
The Cycle of Life - No Longer Living at Home
They swept into town last Friday and immediately cocooned me with comfort, familiarity, faith and unconditional love. There were many walks, home cooked meals, hugs, back-scratches and teasing. We watched movies (Freedom Writers, Becoming Jane), did some shopping (Dwell in Possibilities Calendar, Panasonic Linex FZ18- from Logic), indulged in dessert (cream puffs, confetti cake, apple pie) and framed some of my pictures for their house.
They will leave tomorrow and I will not see them again for months.
I miss them already.
They will leave tomorrow and I will not see them again for months.
I miss them already.
October 10, 2007
Which Candidate Agrees With You?
Here's a quiz to show which presidential candidate's views are most like your own:
Select a Canditate
I was surprised to find Kucinich and Richardson at the top of my list. Very interesting.
October 08, 2007
The Check Up
My stomach hurts, my mind is going a thousand miles a minute and I find myself staring out the window at the (rare) blue sky. I recognize all those signs as anxiety but spend the day trying to place it.
My birthday is tomorrow. That's a GOOD thing. My parents are here to celebrate with me. That's a GREAT thing. I'm taking the day off. Another GOOD thing. My mom is making my favorite cake and cooking a meal that reminds me of home. Another GREAT thing. So what is it that has my stomach in knots? Then it hits me. Logic is at the doctor for his check up.
Eight years ago, late at night, at a hospital in Portland he was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease. It felt like this. And every time I am reminded of his struggle and eventual conquering of the disease I am stabbed in the gut with the fear of a recurrence.
I won't hear about the appointment until tonight and neither of us will have results for a week so my anxiety today won't do any good. (When does it ever?) And yet, here I am. Anxious.
My birthday is tomorrow. That's a GOOD thing. My parents are here to celebrate with me. That's a GREAT thing. I'm taking the day off. Another GOOD thing. My mom is making my favorite cake and cooking a meal that reminds me of home. Another GREAT thing. So what is it that has my stomach in knots? Then it hits me. Logic is at the doctor for his check up.
Eight years ago, late at night, at a hospital in Portland he was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Disease. It felt like this. And every time I am reminded of his struggle and eventual conquering of the disease I am stabbed in the gut with the fear of a recurrence.
I won't hear about the appointment until tonight and neither of us will have results for a week so my anxiety today won't do any good. (When does it ever?) And yet, here I am. Anxious.
October 05, 2007
October 04, 2007
Morale
In a rare attempt to cheer us up before the busy holiday season, my office is taking everyone out to The Garage this afternoon. My team will play pool, bowl, drink beer and eat a lot of crap. Should be fun.
October 03, 2007
The Acorn: Another Excerpt From "Eat, Pray, Love"
"My thoughts turn to something I read once, something the Zen Buddhists believe. They say that an oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously, there is the acorn from which it all begins, the seed which holds all the promise and potential, which growns into the tree. Everybody can see that. But only a few can recognize that there is another force operating here as well - the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being, drawing the seedling forth with longing out of the void, guiding the evolution from nothingness to maturity. In this respect, say the Zens, it is the oak tree that creates the very acorn from which it was born.
I think about the woman I have become lately, about the life that I am now living, and about how much I always wanted to be this person and live this life, liberated from the farce of pretending to be anyone other than myself. I think of everything I endured before getting here and wonder if it was me- I mean, this happy and balanced me, who is now dozing on the deck of the small Indonesian fishing boat-who pulled the other, younger, more confused and more struggling me forward during all those hard years. The younger me was the acorn full of potential, but it was the older me, the already-existent oak, who was saying the whole time-'Yes-grow! Change! Evolve!Come and meet me here, where I already exist in wholeness and maturity! I need you to grow into me!' And maybe it was this present and fully actualized me who was hovering four years ago over that young married sobbing girl on the bathroom floor, and maybe it was this me who whispered lovingly into that desperate girl's ear, 'Go back to bed, Liz...' Knowing already that everything would be OK, that everything would eventually bring us together here. Right here, right to this moment. Where I was always waiting in peace and contentment, always waiting for her to arrive and join me."
I think about the woman I have become lately, about the life that I am now living, and about how much I always wanted to be this person and live this life, liberated from the farce of pretending to be anyone other than myself. I think of everything I endured before getting here and wonder if it was me- I mean, this happy and balanced me, who is now dozing on the deck of the small Indonesian fishing boat-who pulled the other, younger, more confused and more struggling me forward during all those hard years. The younger me was the acorn full of potential, but it was the older me, the already-existent oak, who was saying the whole time-'Yes-grow! Change! Evolve!Come and meet me here, where I already exist in wholeness and maturity! I need you to grow into me!' And maybe it was this present and fully actualized me who was hovering four years ago over that young married sobbing girl on the bathroom floor, and maybe it was this me who whispered lovingly into that desperate girl's ear, 'Go back to bed, Liz...' Knowing already that everything would be OK, that everything would eventually bring us together here. Right here, right to this moment. Where I was always waiting in peace and contentment, always waiting for her to arrive and join me."
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