Pay It Forward

Did you watch Oprah's season premiere this year? If you did, you saw that her yearly surprise was not to give cars to everyone in the audience. Instead she chose to 'pay it forward'. She gave everyone in her audience $1000 with the understanding that they would, in turn, give it to someone else.
Some people sat in grocery store parking lots and gave cash to strangers, others donated to their favorite cause. But even as I watched the show and saw how inspired some of the people were, I couldn't decide what I would do if given that opportunity.
Last night I figured it out.
Logic and I have had a movie sitting on our t.v. for a few weeks now. With all the renovation and family visits we haven't had time to relax and watch much of anything. But last night we finally sat down to watch An Inconvenient Truth.
If you haven't seen the movie, I would highly recommend it - regardless of your political affiliation. If you've seen it, I would highly recomment that you tell someone to see it.
If I had a thousand dollars to give away, I would buy 50 copies of that movie and give them to strangers. And hope that after they watched it, they would pass it along until everyone had seen it.

New Years

I once heard that whomever you find yourself with on midnight of New Years Eve will be a significant person in your life throughout the following year. Since I consider myself somewhat superstitious (not sure I believe in superstitions, but try to follow them just in case they're real), I try to set my evening up accordingly.
In the past I haven't always been successful in being with the people I'd prefer to spend the next year with. There were times when hard partying got in the way. And others where geography was a problem. But this year I have the opportunity to spend the evening with Logic, Paige and her family and my parents.
I'm putting a lot of importance on being with all of them this New Year. Probably setting myself up for disappointment but hey, if the superstition isn't true at least I get to spend New Years Eve with some of my favorite people!

No, My Husband Doesn't Beat Me. I Really Did Fall Down The Stairs.

It was Friday afternoon and we finally reached the rental car office. My dad and I were ascending the parking garage when sirens and lights started flashing. We parked on the 6th floor and as we stepped out of my car a loud voice came over the intercom: "an emergency has been reported. please evacuate the building immediately!"
We headed for the stairwell and hurried down the stairs. Lights were alternating colors and the sirens were still in full force. As we turned the corner near the 4th floor I misstepped and my left heel caught my right cuff. I searched for the railing. Nothing.
As I dove head-first down the flight of stairs I instinctively curled up and protected my head. In the moment I felt like a stunt double in an action-packed adventure. But when my body hit the landing I realized this was no movie.
My dad rushed down the stairs and helped me to my feet. We reached the street to find the entire block being evacuated. We saw a hotel a few blocks away and pushed through the crowd.
After reaching the hotel I made my way to the lady's room and stopped in front of the mirror. My knees were bleeding and I was already starting to bruise on my legs. I also had a small bump forming above my right eyebrow but other than that I seemed to be in good shape.
I finished cleaning up and returned to my dad. We left the hotel and saw that the parking garage was no longer on lock-down. We shuffled back up the street and rented our car.
It wasn't until I got home and saw my mom that I started to cry. The realization of what could have happened came rushing down my face.

Quirks

In the hopes that this blog will stir some creative juices, I've decided to copy Lachlan and list 6 of my quirks.

1) I have to close my closet door before I go to sleep. Otherwise, I will wake up and make boogy-monsters out of a coat, some skis and a box of books.
2) I like things to be symmetrical. As an example: if I do sit ups with my feet in the air and one leg is crossing the other, I have to stop halfway through and switch my legs.
3) I'm not sure where this one comes from ~ I prefer to do chores when no one else is around. I can't decide if it's because I don't want a critique or if I prefer to make it look effortless.
4) I often do ballet exercises in my living room when no one is around.
5) I like to steal clothes from my dad and wear them until they're rags.
6) I have a favorite spoon. Here's where it gets interesting: I refuse to use it everytime because I don't want to wear it out. But whenever I randomly pick it out of the drawer I get excited.

Backfire

Paige and I pride ourselves on giving good gifts. We slave over lists, the internet, and more lists until we're convinced that the recipient will be pleased with what we got for them.
We don't expect everyone else to work as dilligently as we do, but we expect some effort. And the idea of family members not getting gifts due to another's lack of initiative has led us to extend our efforts for other members of the family.
It wasn't until last year that we realized our other 2 sisters were taking advantage of the situation and waiting for us to do their shopping for them. This angered both of us and we decided not to help them out this year. With the exception of having them go in on one gift with me, I deliberately made sure to do the rest of my shopping with only me in mind. I thought I'd handled the situation rather well, even referring them to each other in the hopes that they'd work on things themselves.
But yesterday, as my Mom and I were in Pier One we received a call from not just one, but both holiday-shopping-impaired sisters asking mom to help them with their gift giving. And since Mom is in Seattle with me, I will be helping her help my sister's give gifts. How did this happen?

What Upsets Me More Than Anything

I am a very empathetic person. I feel other people's emotions as if they were my own. This has been a burden all my life. And a great source of anxiety for me.
Recently I've been making a conscious effort to seperate myself from other people's emotions and to try and focus on what *I* am feeling. But today I had a relapse.
I'd been doing so well. On the drive home from work I could hear about Logic's stressful day without it affecting my mood. I could even read the news again without getting worked up. But when I spoke to my brother this morning I couldn't help but get upset.
To give you a little backstory, Kihl was adopted from Korea when he was 5. He witnessed his mother's death and remembers being abandoned by his father. Moving to America wasn't much easier. He grew up in a small town in Idaho where his peers thought it was funny to call him racial names.
I don't blame him for being edgy and closed off. But as much as I understand his resentment for what he went through, I get fed up when he decides to take it out on our parents.
Kihl is 10 years older than I am. He is a responsible person. He has a nice apartment close to downtown that is bigger than my condo. And yet he never offers to have our parents stay with him when they visit. In fact, in the 3 times they've been here, they haven't even seen his place. He typically stops by my place to say hi and occassionally takes our parents out to dinner. But that is the extent of it. So when my parents suggested coming to the Northwest for Christmas I immediately knew we would need to push our renovations into fast-forward.
I have no problem with that. I love having my parents around and cherish any time I get to spend with them. As the weeks turned into days and our cement flooring turned into maple, Logic and I got increasingly excited to show my parents all the work we've put into our place.
Since Kihl has Tuesdays off, the plan was to have him pick our parents up at the airport around 3:00. Logic and I would meet up with them at a restaurant downtown for a 7:oo reservation and then take them home with us afterward. This would give me time to work a few extra hours while they spent time with Kihl and Logic would be able to attend his office holiday party.
So when I received a call from Kihl this morning, I was expecting a brief update about our dinner reservation. But instead, he mentioned dropping our parents off at my condo straight from the airport. I honestly thought he was kidding because this is typical humor for him. But when my mom called from the San Francisco Airport to confirm that their next flight was on time she mentioned that she'd see me when I got home.
Surprised to hear that, I had to get confirmation from her that Kihl was serious about taking them to my empty condo. She reiterated his story, only with pain in her voice. I suggested that he may have been kidding, but if he wasn't that I'd leave work and head home to greet them.
Our phone call ended and I went back to work. Only I couldn't concentrate. My mom's voice kept repeating in my head. I could feel how upset she was. The kind of pain you feel when your child hurts you.
I called Logic because I was upset. Then he got upset. Not only did he hate the idea of them sitting at our place by themselves but he resented the fact that he'd worked so hard on our place and wasnt' even going to get the reward of seeing their faces when they got there. He asked that I call Kihl back and confirm the plans so we could make alternate arrangements if necessary.
So I called Kihl.
I said: "were you serious about dropping Mom and Dad off at my condo straight for the airport?" Kihl: "yeah. I thought they might like to relax and freshen up before dinner."
me: "you think our parents would rather sit in an empty condo than spend an afternoon with you? they came up here to see you too, you know?"
Kihl: "if you don't want me to take them to your place I won't."
me: "I don't want you to. But if you are too busy to spend time with them, you could drop them off at my office because I would be more than happy to hang out with them."
Kihl: "okay, well I'll figure something out."
me: "will you call me when you know what you're doing?"
Kihl: "okay, bye."
As I got off the phone, I could feel the tears welling up and my face getting hotter.
He can stand me up all he wants. Make an effort to spend the holidays with his girlfriend's family, and not ours. Whatever. But don't be a jerk to our parents.

Suppose I Never Met You

Logic: Would I still have moved to Portland after high school? Would I still be out partying and on a path of self-destruction? How would I have learned about love? And how it feels to be respected? Would I have become a nanny and gone off to college right away? Would I (gasp) have stayed in Montana? (I don't think so... just being hypothetical, you know). Would we have met later on in life? And if so, would we have liked each other? Been in a position to be together?
I sure hope so. Thank you for being my husband.

Paige: I would have been 10 years younger than my closest sibling and could have virtually been raised as an only child. You were the reason I wanted to do and be. Your opinion mattered most to me. Who would I have looked up to if I didn't know you? Would my view of the world be the same? Afterall, because of you (and I guess, partially Tom) I was aware of the world, not just my corner of it, at a very young age. Would I be close to our family? The age seperation seems extreme without you to balance us out. Thank you for being my sister.

Renee: What would high school have been like? If you hadn't surprised me by coming by with your new car, would I have gotten out of my depression? Would I have continued to gain weight if you hadn't kept me so busy? Would I have ever dated Steve? Gone to Cecil's funeral? Met Daniel (with whom I am also still good friends with)? I'm glad I'll never know. Thank you for being my friend.

Kelly: I wouldn't be blogging today. You introduced me to blogging and reminded me how much I enjoy writing. Thank you.

The Best News I've Ever Heard

My parents are flying in on Tuesday and will be staying with Logic and I for 4 days. We live in a one bedroom condo that is approximately 650 square feet. It's a little "cozy" for the 2 of us, but we've grown accustomed to it and find that we really don't need any more space. That is, unless we have company.
We typically give our bedroom to whomever is staying with us so they can have some privacy and be somewhat isolated from our daily routines. My parents will refuse this. They will end up sleeping on our air mattress in the dining room.
The sleeping arrangements most likely won't affect them much. They wake at the crack of dawn and enjoy pampering their kids. I'm sure I'll wake up to fresh coffee, hot pancakes and newly starched clothing. Not to mention a good back scratch from my dad and a cheerful "good morning!" and a kiss on the forehead from my mom.
Even though they are the most accommodating people, I want to make sure they are comfortable. And due to a recent storm (which I'm sure you have heard about) I was concerned that they'd be sleeping in a corner next to our yet-to-be-installed kitchen sink and piles of maple flooring.
When the storm hit I wasn't so much concerned about having to eat jerky for a few days or huddling next to the fire, but how we were going to manage to get the house in order without our power tools. Our bedroom was still empty. No furniture, no flooring. And our kitchen didn't have any counters or (as I previously stated) a sink.
Luckily, Logic was able to install the counter before the power went out but the bedroom was still vacant. The power went out around 11:00 on Thursday night and reluctantly came back on Saturday afternoon. So for 2 days we sat in anticipation. Yesterday morning Logic finally had enough. He decided he would start to lay the maple in our bedroom and customize the panels by sawing them by hand. In the meantime, knowing I couldn't do much to help, I decided to go to the gym.
As I was walking down the street from my car I got a text message saying "POWER!".
That had to be the best news I've ever heard! I cannot tell you how relieved I was to know we still had a fighting chance of getting things done before Tuesday.

~ as a footnote: I did continue to remind myself that we were still very fortunate. Even without power, we had a roof over our heads and said roof did not have a tree in it.

Would You Believe?

Fark.com had a link to 2spare.com that outlined some very strange coincidences. These were some of my favorites:

Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."

In 1979, the German magazine - Das Besteran - ran a writing competition. Readers sent in unusual stories, but they had to be based on true incidents. The winner, Walter Kellner of Munich, had his story published . He wrote about a time when he was flying a Cessna 421 between Sardinia and Sicily. He encountered engine trouble at sea, landed in the water, spent some time in an emergency dinghy and was then rescued. This story was spotted by an Austrian, also named Walter Kellner, who said that the German Kellner had plagiarized the story. The Austrian Kellner said that he had flown a Cessna 421 over the same sea, experienced engine trouble and was forced to land in Sardinia. It was essentially the same story, with a slightly different ending. The magazine checked both stories, and both turned out to be true, even though they were nearly identical.

On July 28th 1900, the King of Italy Umberto I was having dinner in a restaurant in the city of Monza. It turned out later that the restaurant's owner looked identical to the king. The restaurant owner's name was Umberto, his wife's name was the same as the queen's and the restaurant was opened on the same date as the king's inauguration. The Restaurant-owner Umberto was shot dead the next day. So was King Umberto.

On the 26th November, 1911, three men were hanged at Greenberry Hill in London after being convicted of the murder of Sir Edmund Berry. Their names were Green, Berry and Hill.

The British actor Anthony Hopkins [who shot to fame as Hannibal Lecter] was delighted to hear that he had landed a leading role in a film based on the book The Girl From Petrovka by George Feifer. A few days after signing the contract, Hopkins travelled to London to buy a copy of the book. He tried several bookshops, but there wasn't one to be had. Waiting at Leicester Square underground for his train home, he noticed a book apparently discarded on a bench. Incredibly, it was The Girl From Petrovka. That in itself would have been coincidence enough but in fact it was merely the beginning of an extraordinary chain of events. Two years later, in the middle of filming in Vienna, Hopkins was visited by George Feifer, the author. Feifer mentioned that he did not have a copy of his own book. He had lent the last one - containing his own annotations - to a friend who had lost it somewhere in London. With mounting astonishment, Hopkins handed Feifer the book he had found. 'Is this the one?' he asked, 'with the notes scribbled in the margins?' It was the same book.

A British officer, Major Summerford, while fighting in the fields of Flanders in February 1918 was knocked off his horse by a flash of lightning and paralyzed from the waist down. Summerford retired and moved to Vancouver. One day in 1924, as he fished alongside a river, lightning hit the tree he was sitting under and paralyzed his right side. Two years later Summerford was sufficiently recovered that he was able to take walks in a local park. He was walking there one summer day in 1930 when a lightning bolt smashed into him, permanently paralyzing him. He died two years later. But lightning sought him out one last time. Four years later, during a storm, lightning struck a cemetery and destroyed a tombstone. The deceased buried here? Major Summerford.

In 1899 a bolt of lightning killed a man as he stood in his backyard in Taranto, Italy.
Thirty years later his son was killed in the same way and in the same place.
On October 8, 1949, Rolla Primarda, the grandson of the first victim and the son of the second, became the third.

~thank you 2spare

Highway to Heaven

There was a show called Highway to Heaven that was on in the mid-80s. It featured Michael Landon and Victor French as best friends who solved people's problems. Oh yeah, and Michael's character was an angel.
This was one of my favorite shows. I even thought about buying the dvds recently but decided the show is better in my memory. (I have a feeling I wouldn't like it too much if I saw it now.)
But like I said, I loved that show! I can remember most of the epidodes. There was one where a family adopted a child from Asia only to later discover she was biologically linked to her adoptive father. The show focused on racial differences and dealing with prejudice.
This was the basis for most of the shows. It was like an After School Special on crack (wait! that's the tagline for Strangers with Candy. Nevermind.) There was always a lesson in the show. Either I'd learn about overcoming racism or what it would be like for a man to inhabit a woman's body (I don't lie). But the episode that sticks out most in my mind is when Johnathon (Landon's character) and Mark(French's character) were helping an elderly woman. She was having hysterical fits - claiming to have a snake in her toilet. Only, whenever someone came over to look for a snake they couldn't find anything.
Well, there's a scene where Victor's character is calming her down after she claims to see the snake and he has his back to the toilet. Something catches his eye and he turns around to see the snake slithering out of the toilet toward him.
I must have been about 6 when I saw that episode. It was the kind of show that my parents approved of because of it's religious base but I don't think they anticipated the kind of fear that epidosde would evoke.
For months afterward I would refuse to go to the bathroom by myself. At first my family appeased me but after a while no one was willing to follow me into the bathroom just to make sure a snake wasn't in the toilet. So I had to resort to other means of protection. Like constantly stopping to jump up and look in the toilet. Eventually I calmed down and only turned around occasionally to make sure the coast was still clear. But this fear stuck with me for years.
I even did research on the subject. I learned that snakes have been known to get into septic tanks in rural areas but that the odds of having a snake getting in your toilet are very slim. This only alliviated my fears slightly. After all, I go camping a good deal and have been known to visit Montana. But for the most part, this fear is no longer a part of my daily life.
Then I read this.

Sentimental

A scent in the air. A song. The taste of something. All these things can trigger memories. One small thing can bring me right back to a time and place I've been before.
Today I am wearing a lush wool scarf that probably weighs 5 pounds. It's a mixture of caramel and cream and has tassles at the bottom. It is the thickest, longest scarf I have ever seen and it keeps me as warm as a sweater.
I get a lot of compliments on it. Either because people can tell that it was made by hand or because they wish they were as warm. But when I see this scarf it takes me back to living in Jacksonville. Yes, this scarf reminds me of Florida. And here's why:
I was working at Citibank. My cube was in a large room with about 50 other employees. The cube walls were low so I could see people from aisles away. During the early morning or the late evening (depending on which shift I was working) I could talk to Jaime about her cartoon drawings or to Donna about her daughter's wedding. I made some friends there, all of whom I learned a lot from but it wasn't everyday that someone went out of their way to show me they cared too.
I was preparing for a holiday trip to Oregon and thought it would be fun to knit a scarf for myself. I brought the yarn into work one morning and as I tried to follow the instructions and loop the yarn I was brutally reminded that I am not crafty. I tried and tried again with no luck. Finally, after about 20 minutes of pretending I gave up.
Donna noticed that I was having difficulty and we started talking about knitting. She was a typical grandma in the sense that she liked to nurture and spent much of her time doing things for others. She could sense my frustration and offered to make my scarf for me.
Looking back I should have put up more of a fight. Her gesture was a big one. She must have spent a week straight working on that scarf. When she brought it into work I hope the look on my face showed her how much I appreciated it. It was the most beautiful scard I'd ever seen.

33 Names of Things You Never Knew had Names

1. AGLET - The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace.
2. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
3. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
4. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
5. DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
6. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
7. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
8. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
10. JARNS,
11. NITTLES,
12. GRAWLIX,
13. and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is `asleep'.
20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol `#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.
22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.
27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.

~this list provided by www.canongate.net

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Here I am at work on my day off. The guilt of not helping my "team" during the holiday and not doing enough around the house while Logic slaves over new countertops and flooring forced me to get off my lazy ass and come in for a few hours today.
I'm not happy about it. I know I'm just making it harder on myself since I'm already burnt out. And yet I'm here. It's only been 2 hours but I feel like I've been here all day. Guess 3 hours will be my limit today.
I still have so much I want to do today. I need to hit the gym after this. Not only for my mental sanity but to burn off some work-related aggression. Then I need to get some holiday shopping done. Which unfortunately means I'll be entering the mouth of the beast (aka the mall) to find a few last-minute things. And after that, I have to head home and do laundry so I have something to wear tomorrow.
This Sunday blows.

Underneath My Keyboard

Does your keyboard look like this?
Mine wishes it was that clean. Being the multi-tasker that I am, I tend to eat at my desk while I work. This has led to a keyboard tray filled with powdered sugar, parmesan cheese, and bread crumbs. And I just cleaned it a few weeks ago. I'm a disgusting eater!

Holiday OT

I'm sneaky and I didn't even realize it.
My boss asked me to "volunteer" for some overtime this week so I offered up 2 extra hours tomorrow, knowing that Logic had the afternoon off and carpooling wouldn't be an issue.
All morning I've been psyching myself up for a long day tomorrow. Thinking of different things I can do to get myself through the day. Then I received an email reminding me of our team's Happy Hour tomorrow at 4:00.
I giggled conspiratorally. Tomorrow won't be so bad afterall.

Group Outting

Last month I received an email from my boss asking me to organize a function for my office. Since I used to be the Event Coordinator at Buca di Beppo (for a total of four months) I thought I'd set up dinner there and have everyone walk over to Jillian's Pool Hall afterward.
The event was last night and everything went according to plan. Dinner was good and conversation was fun. I learned a lot about my co-workers (like that my boss's name is Jason. Who knew?) and that I'm a pretty good air-hockey player. But mostly, I learned that the people I work with aren't as foreign to me as I'd thought.
Being in the tech industry often times leaves me feeling insecure about my computer-related knowledge and my lack of desire to remain in this field for life. But last night proved to me that a lot of people are here for the same reason I am - it's stable. Everyone has a passion and last night I got to see that. Being reassured of that motivated me to focus more of my energy on my passions. This blog being one of them.

Lilikoi

Tomorrow is a very tumultuous day in the history of Amaya. It's the day my dear friend Lilikoi got married. Don't get me wrong, I ADORE her husband and am so happy for them. But 3 years ago, as she was preparing to walk down the aisle, I was no where to be found. You see, she had flown from Hawaii to Florida for my wedding only a few months prior but due to some complications I wasn't able to make it to hers.
I had a very tough decision to make. Should I fly to Hawaii for one of my best friend's weddings? Or to Oregon to meet my new neice? Ultimately, I chose Oregon. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, but I stick by it. Allison has become such a huge part of my heart and I am so grateful to have been there right after she was born.
Even though I have my neice's birthday to celebrate, this time of year makes me sad because I am reminded that I missed Lili's wedding. It wasn't only the day that I missed out on, but the months leading up to and after. Her feelings were so hurt when I told her I wouldn't be coming. So hurt because she thought I didn't put the same priority on our friendship that she'd did. We didn't talk for over a year.
I continued to email/write/call her but to no avail. I guess my persistance was an attempt to show her that she was (is) so important to me and that I wasn't willing to give up.
6 months after her wedding, as Logic and I were preparing to move across the country I wrote her a long letter telling her how important she still was to me and that I would continue to let her know what's going on in my life. A few months after that, I got a reply.
It was one of the happiest days of my life. That letter was the first step in resurrecting an important relationship that I hold very dear to my heart. And everytime she emails/writes/calls me, it's as if I'm getting that reply all over again.

~lili, I am so grateful for your friendship. And I will always regret not being there for your wedding. I love you and I hope you have a very Happy Anniversary this Thursday.

Against the Flow

In the last few years I've felt a shift. A shift in my priorities, beliefs and goals. It's because of this shift that I find myself going against the flow this time of year.
I no longer find comfort in the holiday season. I partially blame cnn for that. It's hard to appreciate unwarranted, highly expensive "wants" when the other 2/3's of the world are fighting for fresh water. Anderson Cooper isn't helping this isse - I find him fascinating and his editorials across the sea have opened my eyes to a lot of the world's problems.
But it isn't just the global issue that has me weary of Christmas. My religious beliefs have changed and that leaves me feeling empty and confused this time of year. And what's worse is that most American's, regardless of their religious standpoint, spend Christmas focusing on gifts. So even if I don't believe in Christ I'm expected to buy gifts for family and friends. Which leads me to wonder 'for what'? Sure, I want to show my loved ones that I care for them. But do I really need to max out my credit card to do that? And on top of that, most of my family is very religious so I find this season to be one of explainations and misunderstandings.
Things would be much easier if I just didn't care. But I find myself getting worked up over this. Not to say that I am selfish and don't like to buy things for the people I love, but I just don't want to spend all of my money on expected gifts for a season I don't believe in. I'd much rather be putting that money somewhere else - like donating it to a charity I support, or saving up for a new car, or being able to finish renovations on my house.
I get so stressed out during the Christmas season. How do I prioritize my life, stand by my beliefs, and reach my goals when I can't even stand up for myself? What would Jesus do?

Dear Allison

I'm sorry I won't be coming to your house this weekend. I really wanted to spend your 3rd birthday with you. You are one of my favorite people and I always love playing with you.
It just wasn't in the cards for me to come. Besides the car trouble I've dealt with this week, I'm also feeling stressed out about the holiday season and getting my condo back together before Grandma and Grandpa come. On top of that, we might get another snow storm tonight and I'm not comfortable driving my problem-ridden car to your house.
But please know that I'll be thinking of you often this weekend. And I'll try to call you tomorrow so we can talk.
I sure do love you! Have a very Happy Birthday!
Love, Your Auntie

PomaPoopoo

I just tried pomegranate juice for the first time. letmetellyou that shit is nasty! If I'd wanted prune juice I would have bought prune juice. This is complete trickery on the part of the juice makers!!

Bad Judgement

Halfway through my second doughnut I knew I was going to regret it.
Why did I finish eating it?

Wednesday Schmidnesday

I'm done with Wednesday. It just gets in the way of the weekend. Always slowing my week down. I think it might be my least favorite day of the week. Yes, even worse than Monday.
Monday still has lingering memories of the weekend. And I'm usually asleep until noon on Mondays anyway, so it's really like having a half day.
Tuesday is fairly nice. It's that wonderful day that verifies you made it safely through Monday. An indication that you are one step closer to freedom.
But Wednesday might as well be Monday itself. "Oh, I'm hump day, oh". That's basically like telling me that to get past Wednesday I need to climb a large hill. Tuesday didn't make me exercise. Where does Wednesday get off telling me what to do?

~for the record, I enjoy Thursday a great deal. It's gone down in stature since the departure of FRIENDS but at least I have Grey's Anatomy to look forward to.
And who doesn't like Friday? You'd have to be silly to pick on Friday.

The Nine

I'm sad to report one of my new favorite shows "The Nine" has been cancelled due to poor ratings. Only slightly less upsetting is the cancellation of "6 Degrees". I thought both of these shows were smart and entertaining. But who am I to judge? I liked Arrested Development.

If You Have Difficulty Breathing or Your Eyes Puff Up...

Please come back and see us.

This is what the nurse told me after I received my flu shot this morning. Nothing like adding a little anxiety to the flu season.

Early Morning Pictures at the Coast

My Wednesday Adventure

After working late on Tuesday I figured I deserved to leave early on Wednesday and take a trip to the gym. My friend, Daniel planned to meet me in front of the cardio machines at 3:30 and we'd work out until Logic got off work at 5:00. So I left the office at 3:00 and walked down the block to the bus stop.
As I reached the sidewalk I saw a bus approaching and thought to myself, "eh, no need to rush, I have a half hour to get there." I would mosey to the stop and wait another 20 minutes for a bus. When one would finally arrive, half the inhabitants of Seattle would get on with me. And the rest of Seattle would get on at the next stop.
This posed a problem for people at future stops. Our driver would stop long enough to tell people we were full and see if anyone needed to get off. When we finally got near the gym I leaned over and pressed the signal to get off at the next stop. The gentleman next to me noticed I would be trying to get off and awkwardly smiled. I replied with "this should be fun."
My stop came and went. The busdriver drove right past it. Even with the signal on. Now, normally this wouldn't be a big deal but my stop happened to be the last stop in Seattle. I hitched a ride through town on an express bus to Lynnwood so by missing the stop I was left no choice but to take the scenic and holiday-weekend-gridlock-filled trip to a suburb 15 miles north of Seattle.
The man next to me kept me distracted by talking about the downfall of public transit as we slowly lurched to my new and unplanned destination. 40 minutes later we would arrive at the Lynnwood Park and Ride and I would make my way to the driver. After explaining what happened (in a very polite manner, I might add) the asshole managed to direct me to another platform so I could get back to the city without even apologizing or making eye contact! Once off the bus I waited another 10 minutes for my return transit to arrive. By the time I got off the bus in Seattle it was after 5.
Since Logic had been off work for a while (his boss ended up surprising him by letting everyone leave at 3:30), he chose to hang out at a local bar instead of driving home just to drive back into the city and get me. (He actually offered to come get me in Lynnwood, but because of traffic I knew his efforts would be in vain.)
I finally met up with him at our car around 5:30 and drove home. What a weird day.

The Meaning of Thanksgiving

Now, I'm sure some of you think you know what the meaning of Thanksgiving is. Pilgrims and Native Americans. Yada, yada, yada. But I'm here to tell you that the TRUE meaning of Thanksgiving comes in the shape of a football. A Detroit Lions football, to be exact. At least, this is the reason my family celebrates turkey day.
As my father has explained many times over, the last Thursday in November is our way of giving thanks for the game Detroit hosts every year (since 1934). He does a much better job of explaining it but the basic gist is that we throw a feast in the hopes that the Lions will actually win a game.
So every year, he gets up early and prepares the sacrificial turkey. We all slave away in the kitchen making side dishes and desserts. All in the hopes that we'll have reason to celebrate. Our cooking half-time occurs when the game starts. We sit in anticipation. Hoping the Turkey Gods will smile on us for our contribution.
Most of the time, we end up eating our meal around a sad, quiet table of mourning fans. But on the rare occasion that the Lions win - we have one hell of a party. Regardless of whether we win or lose, we will go on. And we will continue to cheer for the Detroit Lions.

Happy Thanksgiving

This year has been busy for Logic and I. Besides the renovation, we've traveled around the northwest quite a bit. Seeing family mostly. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my time, and yet I am looking forward to spending Thanksgiving at home - just the 2 of us.
I'm not sure what we'll spend the day doing. Possibly cooking (or as Logic joked this morning - driving to Denny's), possibly working on the floors or, if we can detach ourselves from the mess that we call a home, lounging around.
Regardless of what we choose to do, I will be thankful to share a cozy day inside with Logic.
What are you thankful for?

Recommended Usage

I'm guessing a vitamin would not help maintain my health if I choked on it.
(Insert image of Amaya popping a vitamin C in her mouth as she hums "Just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down" followed by loud hacking noises.)
Amaya's Obituary:
Death by Vitamin

Arrested Development

Tobias Fünke: [footage of Tobias trying on a Speedo with his cut-offs on] Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

- I received all three seasons of Arrested Development on dvd today!

Here I Am

Just got back from a long weekend at the Oregon Coast. There was shopping, walking along the beach, getting caught by a sneaker wave, scaring the poodle, relaxing in front of the fire, exploring tide pools and eating fresh seafood.
I took entirely too many pictures of the ocean. I'll sift through the mediocrity and include one soon.

Don't Forget To Vote

No, I'm not in a time warp. I realize the election was over a week ago. I'm referring to this.
I'm enjoying the process of researching each location and then voting on which 7 wonders should be the new Wonders of the World.
I do find it amusing that Petra is in the same category with the Statue of Liberty though. Don't let my opinion sway you.. I just thought it was a silly.

Deers

A cnn.com link indicated that "deers" were causing havoc throughout urban America this week.
CNN people!!!
I even tried to be devil's advocate and search dictionary.com for deers.
It referred me to deer.
cnn.com saddens me.

Photos

Here are Paige's children, Allison and Isaiah.
We spent 6 hours together on Sunday while their parents went to the Seahawks game.
And they're still alive!

On the Edge of Your Seat

You poor things!
I ask for suggestions regarding my brother-in-law's birthday gift and then I leave you hanging. Just waiting around to hear what I decided.
Well, here it is -
I got him a dress shirt. I know, very exciting.
I'm also getting him some of his favorite candy. Does that make it more interesting?

Question

Would you like your job more if you could sit in a recliner with a blankey?
I know I would.

The Kitchen

Our renovation has reached a milestone!
We are still months and months from completion, but Logic finished the hardwood floors in the kitchen on Monday night and we were able to finally install our new appliances last night!
Once the computer agrees to download pictures again I'll be sure to show some (and pics of the babies for Syd).

If I Did It, Which I Didn't...

Seriously?

*update

Private Space Exploration

I watched a show on the Discovery Channel this weekend about private industry leaders using their money to promote space exploration. Everyone from Richard Branson to Jeff Bezos is hopping on the space bandwagon. Their hope - to bring space to everyone.
There's no turning back and things will continue to progress but in my opinion, space exploration becoming something of a tourist attraction is a double-edged sword.
On one hand, it's very exciting... the thought of discovering what else is out there and allowing the 'common man' the opportunity to see things that only billionaires and NASA/etc have had the luxury of seeing.
But I can't help but think we don't deserve the 'get out of jail free' card that we're searching for.
Consider the damage we are doing to our own planet. Do we really want to litter space too (more than we already are)? Maybe we just need to find alternate solutions to the problems we've already created.
What do you think?

Tranny Service

Logic has today off and was spending his morning prepping the living room for the maple floor we're (er, he) is laying. He brought the saw back upstairs (we moved it downstairs while my babies were here) and as he did, he dropped wood shavings all along the stairwell.
Deciding to be a good neighbor, he got out the shopvac and took it to the hallway - making sure to leave our condo unlocked.
Once in the stairwell, he remembered the extension cord was in the garage and went outside to get it. Only, he forgot to prop the outside door open so when he returned from the garage he found himself locked out.
I left my office to save the day since all our neighbors had left for work and Logic was outside in the cold. I took my usual route and as I drove down 4th Ave S I noticed a sign for King's Transmission that said, "Tranny Service". Now, I'm not sure if that was intentional or not - but I laughed all the way home.

My Babies Are Coming!

Paige and her husband are coming up this weekend!! And bringing their babies! Allison will be 3 in a month and Isaiah just turned 6 months. I can hardly wait to play and cuddle.
If you're lucky, you might get to see pictures.

A Pattern

Have you noticed that I go days without posting and then write 3 or 4 blogs in one day? I guess the flood gates are open today -
Anyway, I just finished watching the newest episode of The Nine. What a great show! I'm so glad that it's online because I am getting too old to stay up until 11:00 on a weeknight. If you get the chance, you should check it out.

Comparison

People continue to compare KFed to Vanilla Ice.
That's a little harsh, don't you think?
Vanilla Ice wasn't THAT bad.

Gift Ideas

What do you get someone who has everything?
My brother-in-law is celebrating his birthday next Tuesday and he and my sister will be spending this weekend with Logic and I.
I want to have his gift ready to open when they get here. But I have NO idea what to get him. And my sister is having a hard time giving suggestions. Please help!
Here is some background info on him:
He is a computer programmer
He loves Oregon State University and owns multiple OSU shirts/accessories
He has nearly every cd/dvd ever made
He knows everything about everything and wins at anything he plays
He is a dad to a 2 year old daughter and a 6 month old son
He collects baseballs (but I'm not sure which ones he has already)
He loves woodworking/tools and makes his own pens
He has his own website where he sells tools
He's a good photographer who enjoys framing his own work and has a few cameras
He rarely drinks alcohol or coffee and enjoys a good Pepsi or Mountain Dew
He makes a mean batch of sugar cookies
He is a Dodger's fan

See where I'm coming from here? I typically pride myself on being a good gift giver. But I'm stumped. Anything you can come up with would be so helpful!

Something to Look Forward To

Since I will be working this Thanksgiving, Logic and I are meeting up with his family at the Oregon Coast to celebrate the holiday a week beforehand.
This is where we'll be staying. Doesn't it look relaxing?

Blogroll

Is back in effect. If you don't see your blog on there it's because I don't like you. j/k I probably forgot.

Last Night's Meeting

I left work early yesterday and drove up to the UW campus to meet with an advisor in the English department. What I expected to be a typical counseling session turned into a great conversation about my future.
Maria was surprised to find FCCJ on my transcripts since she worked at that exact campus in Florida for nearly 15 years. After reminiscing about our Jacksonville experiences we were both put at ease. Our conversation covered education, personal goals and the mentality of 'the grass is always greener on the other side'. She reminded me that life is too short to wait around for happiness. I need to find it in my daily life and continue to strive toward my goals at the same time.
After an hour and half, I walked out of the building feeling like I'd just had a great chat with my mom. It was refreshing to hear about her life experience and to talk to someone who understands what I'm going through and where I want to be.
To top it off, she emailed me this morning to thank me for our talk and to remind me that she will help in any way she can.

Frustrated

Blogger is being a bitch. Sorry for the delay on my posts.

Confinement

Last night Logic and I were literally confined to our bedroom. He had the day off and started putting a sealant on the floors around noon. The sealant goes under the hardwood we're installing and it had to sit for 12 hours before we could walk on it. So after applying the sealant, he cornered himself in the bedroom with our two cats and a stockpile of necessities.
Necessities like cat food, the litter box, DVD's, our computer, water, and his cell phone.
He called me about 15 minutes before I left work to advise me that I needed to call him when I got home because he would have to help me get in the house.
Once there, he met me at the door and grabbed my purse, dinner and the mail from my hands. Then he helped me leap from the doorway to the bathroom. After that he showed me how to hang from the doorframe and swing from the bathroom to our bedroom. Since it was my first attempt, I under-estimated the momentum needed and he had to grab me by the waist to prevent me from falling face-first into the wet floor.
The actual confinement was kind of fun. In a strange way it almost felt like we were camping. We had everything we needed and getting to a bathroom was a challenge.
This whole renovation process has been quite an ordeal. For me, it's been a lesson in patience and for Logic it's been a lesson in dealing with me and my lack of patience. I'm starting to think that programs for engaged couples are going about their lesson plan the wrong way. They need to put couples in high-stress situations like home renovation and if they succeed without killing each other then they know they can make it through anything.

Empathy

My mom just called to say that she and my dad are driving to Texas to see my grandma. Grandma is back in the hospital for the 2nd time in a month and things are progressively getting worse.
I have never been very close to my mom's mom. She's a fun and sassy woman and she did a damn good job raising my mom and her 6 younger siblings, but my unhappiness today comes mostly from the fact that I can't even imagine what this must be like for my mom.
I have always had a morbid fascination with death. And an over-active imagination. Oh, and I can't forget that inflated empathy. When someone says, "Imagine how that would make you feel" I can honestly say that I do that; sometimes without even wanting to. I've gone through the deaths of all my loved ones. Planning out what it would be like, how I would react and how it would affect my life and the lives of their other loved ones.
I sometimes think this is a defense mechanism, to somehow prepare myself for the inevitable. But this 'talent' tends to get me worked up. And so here I am, getting worked up. Imagining what life would be like without my mom. Or dad, for that matter. From what I've heard, it creates a hole in your heart that is unrepairable. A numbness and loneliness that is never ending. So I try to imagine what that would feel like. That gaping hole in my heart.
Sadly, I doubt this training is going to help in the least when that moment arrives.

Happy Anniversary

I completely forgot that today is my 1 year anniversary at my company.
I've actually been here 1 year and 9 months but due to a contract with another company I wasn't hired on as an employee until last year on this day.
And only a week before my hiring date, I was more stressed out than I have ever been in my life. The interview process was very intense - 4 seperate interviews with different managers within my department. Just thinking about it stresses me out.
Ugh. Seriously, I have to stop talking about it. I can feel my blood pressure rising...
Anyway, happy anniversary to me.

Happy Halloween

I am not a fan of Halloween; never have been. But I do enjoy this a great deal.

Bad Manners or Conniving Woman?

If you see a man moving out of a house that is owned by an attractive woman of the same age, would you have the nerve to call and ask for his number?
That is exactly what happened to my sister Jill yesterday.
She broke up with her boyfriend recently and he finally came back to get the remainder of his things 2 nights ago. As he was leaving the house, the neighbor across the street happened to be outside with her friend and they had a casual conversation. Then the next morning, the neighbor's friend called my sister and asked for her ex-boyfriend's phone number!!! Can you believe that???

This Mornings Conversation

Logic: (looking at my gloves) Remember how my mom bought you a really nice pair of gloves last xmas but you took them back to the store because your sister bought you a pair too? (in a very quizzical, snide tone)
Me: Honey, that was you.

Blogroll

You may have noticed that my blogroll is gone.
It all started when Guy pointed out that my blogroll links weren't working. He was kind enough to give examples of what HTML should look like in the template and what mine looked like. So I spent about a half hour correcting the mistakes and updating the roll only to find that the links were somehow overlapping and covering some of my actual posts.
In a moment of frustration I deleted the entire thing. And I haven't looked back since. In my opinion it's one less thing to worry about.
I may change my mind and upload my friends and mentors in the future, but for the time being don't be hurt if you don't see your blog on my site.

And Now, the Rest of the Story

Remember Paul Harvey? I don't mean to insinuate that he has passed on, because he hasn't. I only say that because I completely forgot about him. My sister, Jade forwarded an email that included some amazing statistics regarding his career on the radio and it brought back some memories.
Of all the AM radio my parents subjected me to growing up, I can only think of one station that I enjoyed... I've blocked out the actual station, but I can tell you that it included stories by Paul Harvey.
On drives to the post office or the library, or any other place that I dreaded going as a kid, I can remember pretending to sleep so I could stay in the car with the radio on.
I'm sure if I were to listen to him today, I would find a great deal of comfort in hearing his voice.

For Future Reference

The Seattle Metro does NOT allow any flammable substance on their busses. This is important to note when running late for an appointment and carrying a camping lantern.

Strangers with Candy Quote

"I wasn't pushing you away. I was pulling me toward myself."
~Noblet to Jellyneck.

A Shift

A few weeks ago, while in Salt Lake City, I was irritable. The entire trip was draining and I just wanted to be home. On top of all the stress, I had a 10 year old attached to my leg. She wanted to do everything I did, and go everywhere I went. It was impossible to enjoy the time with her because her behavior was so taxing. Halfway through lunch one day it hit me. THIS is how my older siblings felt about me. All I wanted whenever we were together was to spend time with them. I would cancel plans, change my routine, if only to spend more time with them. And as I struggled to get their attention, they became more and more annoyed with me.
It was at that moment that I felt a shift in the way I viewed the relationship I have with them. I realized that I'd been putting forth all the effort for something that suddenly felt very false.
This feeling wasn't as surprising as I'd expected. I guess I'd felt this way for quite some time. But spending that time with my neice was what brought those feelings to the surface.

Jack-ass O'Lantern

A term used during the month of October to describe someone who is being rude.
*copyright by Logic

"Your Mother was a hampster and your father smells of old elderberries".

For some unknown reason, this phrase occasionally pops into my head.
Yes, I've seen Monty Python, but not in some time. And it isn't as if I have the entire movie memorized. Yet, for some reason, this phrase has made an impression on my brain and occasionally has to remind me that it's there.
Do you have any phrases like that?

An American In Paris

My sister, Jill owns her own catering company. It's not how it sounds. She doesn't cook. She sets up functions for her clients and pretty much makes the rules. It's because of this that Jill has a lot of flexibility. And a lot of money.
So when her friend Sheila mentioned she would be in Paris for 5 days last week, Jill decided to take the week off and join her. This was Jill's first trip to Europe but not her first last-minute vacation. Sometimes I wonder how she's able to do things that most people only dream of. Then I'm reminded that she has sacrificed a lot to get where she's at. She's 38 and single. Not that it's a bad thing to be single, but Jill wants to be in a relationship. So it's been quite a sacrifice for her.
I say, if you can't have a man at least be an American in Paris.

Kitchen Update

Logic and I are pluggin along on the renovation of our condo. Some days it doesn't feel like it, but according to Logic we have come a long way. In the midst of all the chaos our cats are doing quite well. In fact, George takes it upon himself to survey the situation, which is how he got his new nickname - Supervisor.
He comes into our work space and meows at us. Meowing orders, that is. He's a stickler when it comes to details and doesn't like to see us taking breaks.
Now that I've officially inducted myself into the Crazy-Cat Lady Hall of Fame - I will leave you with this picture. George is inspecting the cupboard.

The Man Period Cont.

I've come to the realization that my co-worker may not have a man period but may, in fact, be able to sense mine and therefore leaves me alone for a day or two.
During his last period, I realized we were syncing up. Which I found amusing until I noticed a pattern. Now I'm convinced that he doesn't have a period at all. It's just that I'm so unbearable for those few days that he knows better than to talk to me.

Thank You Tom

Due to bad timing and a break-up, I received a gift card to a salon meant for my brother's ex-girlfriend. I really liked Katie, so I was sad to see her go but when Tom mentioned giving me the gift card intended for her, I couldn't help but be a LITTLE happy that she left. (isn't' that awful?).
So last night I went to Habitute here in Seattle and received my first facial. Since it was only a week after my birthday, I decided to splurge a little and get the extended package (ha! I said extended package!!) which not only included the facial but also a scalp, hands, and feet massage. Let me tell you - the entire 2 hours were amazing. But when Debbie started brushing my hair I immediately tried to remember everything I could smell, see, hear and touch because that was a major pinnacle of my life. (I also thought of Paige because I used to make her do that for free ;) ).
Leaving the salon at 8:00 last night, I felt so relaxed, so nurtured. All I could think about was how to conference call every woman I know to tell them they need a facial.

Drug Testing

My office is very relaxed. We've had pajama day, okay?
But only a moment ago, a senior administrator walked around and asked everyone what they enjoyed drinking. A friend joked that he only smoked and snorted.
After she left I couldn't help but wonder if that's my company's way of drug screening.

*in all actuality, there was left over liquor from happy hour last week and she surprised us by bringing some drinks to our desks.

Is That a Sign?

Okay, so I may have a problem. I *might* spend a good chunk of my day surfing one particular site that has a really nice variety. It's easy to get carried away and realize a half hour later that you're at work and shouldn't be tracking down a size 7 Seychelles boot. But that hasn't stopped me. Especially since I currently have a gift card to the site.
A moment ago I was flipping from one page to another when an advertisement came up for a book called "Shopaholic Takes Manhattan" (which I've read, btw). I'm wondering if this product placement was spontaneous or a sign that I may have a real problem.

Another Reason To Smile

AWWW!

You Can Never Have Too Many

Birthday from 6 pm to the end

Despite my attitude toward the first half of the day, I have to say the birthday in all was pretty nice. Not only did I receive an un-countable number of emails, ecards, IMs, texts and voicemails from loved ones but I also managed to get a surprise birthday cake delivery from my friend Joanne. After work, Logic picked me up and offered to take me out to dinner. I wasn't feeling well so we headed straight home.
He lit the fire and went off to change his clothes. Wanting to spend the evening with him, I stood my ground against the warmth of the fire. Shortly thereafter my willpower shut down and I decided to lie on the couch while I waited for him. Only a few minutes later, Logic emerged from our room to find myself and our two cats asleep, curled up in front of the fire.
Being the tender, selfless husband that he is, he left me there to rest peacefully.
What a great way to end the day.

Happy Birthday, You're a Grown Up

Birthdays don't suck because you're getting older. They don't suck because it's a constant reminder of the things you want to do but haven't yet.
No, birthdays suck because they will never be as good as they used to.
When you get older, people forget about your birthday. People who are important to you. Like your co-workers, that you see everyday. Or the friends that you've kept in touch with for 15 years. Those friends that call you the second their baby takes its' first step but can't even remember to call you and be excited about the day you were born.
So instead of waking up to streamers and a box full of cupcakes that you have to maneuver through bus aisles and classroom doors, you wake up to "happy birthday honey" (if you're lucky enough to have a significant other who cares enough to remember) and a nice swift kick in the ass once you head into work and realize that, back there in bed, was the only recognition you will get today.
Your birthday.

Word Cloud

In typical Amaya style, I'm stealing ideas from Syd, Trop and Bayou:

Random Question

How do people without parents get through a cold?
I can't get through a flu without needing to talk to my mom. I could care less what she talks about, I just need to hear her voice.

Tim McGraw, How Do You Do It?

First you sang "Don't Take the Girl" and I couldn't hear it without sobbing.
Then your latest single came out. "My Little Girl" just had me crying at my desk.
How do you do it?

Renovation Recipes

It's been nearly 2 months since Logic and I took on the task of renovating our condo. Being the over-achievers that we are, we took on too much and are now completely burnt out. After coming home to a dirty house after a hectic week in Salt Lake we decided we needed to finish our kitchen project so we can at least put things back into place and be able to cook.
Sandwiches, cereals, and take-out have overstayed their welcome and we are in desperate need of some creative recipes as we finish up.
Which is why I've decided to give you homework...
Here is what we have to work with:
crock pot
wok
quesadilla maker
george foreman grill
sandwich maker (ie: makes grilled triangles)
toaster

Please take into consideration that we have NO counterspace right now so prep work is out of the question, nor are we able to cook anything on our stove. A microwave is a possibility. Most of our dinnerware is either boxed or covered in sawdust so anything that would work with paper plates is preferred.

If you have any recipes that fit into this very small category, please send them my way as soon as possible. We're wasting away over here.
Thanks in advance.

Happy to be Home

After my expections of the SLC trip were dashed I was prepared for anything. Well, almost anything.
Logic and I printed our boarding passes off the computer and got to the airport an hour and a half early on Sunday just to find there was no curbside check-in nor any resemblance of order inside the airport. Our options were to waiting in an hour-long line just to be re-directed to another line where we would hand over our luggage or tip a skycap to take our luggage straight away. Hmm. Tough choice.
Yeah, so we flagged down a skycap and proceeded to check our luggage in. He informed us that our bag was 6 pounds too heavy so we'd either need to take 6 pounds out of our ONE PIECE OF LUGGAGE FOR 2 PEOPLE or pay an extra $25!!! We were surprised since we actually had less in our luggage than when we flew over a few days prior. When we brought that to the skycaps attention he told us that he didn't hear that because if he had, he would be required to charge us $50 instead of $25. What a favor he was granting us, huh?
We relented and payed $25.
Then we got in the security line only to learn that we were the only people in all of SLC who had ever been on a plane before. No one understood what the hell they were required to do and the line moved at a snail's pace. After 45 minutes of waiting, Logic and I finally got through security and had a half hour to get to our gate.
The flight itself wasn't bad. I slept most of the way. But as we descended into Seattle, Logic's nose started bleeding. By the time the plane landed, he had blood all over his shirt.
I need another vacation.

Ambushed in a Starbucks Parking Lot

Friday afternoon may not have included a gondola ride through the canyon or a screaming descent down a mountain on a zipline, but it was still a nice day. After Thursday, I was fully aware that any plans I had were not going to be fulfilled and that I needed to just go with the flow. So after lunch at The Redrock Brewery in Park City I was pleasantly surprised to find myself at the top of Olympic Park watching ski and luge practice. Afterward, Dominique (Logic's step-sister) offered to stop at Starbucks before our drive back into the city.
Logic and Emily chose to stay behind while Dominique, Christian and I went inside. We were halfway to the entrance when we heard a man introduce himself to Logic as a representative of Jesus Christ. (To which he replied: "Hi, I'm a representative of myself". heehee!)
Dom and I looked at each other and hesitated. Knowing full well what was happening, she asked if she should be worried that her daughter would be baptized by the time we got back with our coffee. I told her that Logic would protect Emily and that we should run quickly away from the awkward situation. Luckily, upon returning to the car, the man was gone and little Emily was still without a Mormon registration card.
One question: How many people convert in front of a coffee shop?

Lost in SLC

Last Thursday was supposed to be the beginning of my vacation. But it wasn't.
The morning started slowly but by noon it was obvious that this trip was much less about relaxing and much more about fulfilling family obligations. I had very few expectations, but was hoping to have some time to enjoy the company I was in and maybe go on a gondola ride through the canyon.
Instead, I spent the majority of the trip trying to convince my mother-in-law that it was impossible to please everyone, visiting neices and nephews at their soccer/football/ballet events and maneuvering my way through a city I'd never driven in before.
There were a few highlights... it wasn't ALL bad. For instance, I finally met Logic's uncle and his family. And I had a nice afternoon in Park City on Friday. But there was also a low point. A very low point where I found myself swearing and screaming up a storm in the car with Jade.
We had just finished watching Alexandria's ballet practice when we were finally free to do a little shopping. So the two of us got directions from Tanji (step-sister and Alexandria's mom) and headed south on the freeway. But we soon remembered that SLC has a funny habit of naming their streets by one number and using another for directions (ex: 2300 is known as 23rd. who does that?) and couldn't remember if Tanji was referring to the actual number or the local number when she told us to get off at 22nd. After driving for 15 minutes, we decided to get off at the next exit and call Jade's step-dad who grew up in the city.
It was a moment of desperation. We didn't have many options, but looking back - calling Stephen should have been our LAST resort. AFTER circling the city and trying to ask missionaries for directions. You see, Stephen has a habit of acting like he knows the answer when he, infact, didn't even understand the question. After 5 minutes on the phone Jade realized Stephen was giving us directions back to grandma's house instead of to the mall. She quickly got off the phone with him and shot me a look that could only mean we were on our own.
After much more swearing, screaming and laughing at how rediculous this situation was, we found the mall. Unfortunately, we only had 40 minutes to look around before we had to get back to grandma's for dinner.
On top of getting lost, we both found ourselves trying on clothes that happened to be unflattering and way too small. So the trip was a complete disaster. We left knowing we'd be late for dinner AND that we were fat.

Happy Tuesday

If you're having a rough morning, maybe this will help.

Re-shui'd

Our place has been a mess for nearly 2 months! We thought we'd redo the flooring first so the carpet came up. Then we realized the odds of getting paint stain, etc on the new flooring and decided to work on the kitchen cupboards first. Once we began sanding the cupboards we discovered the wood underneath was authentic oak so our white paint no longer seemed appropriate.
We spent the next 3 weeks sanding and resanding the oak in our kitchen and finally started to stain and interior paint last week. By this weekend, we're hoping to have the poly on and the cupboards clean enough to be refilled with their goods.
After that, we should be picking up our new sink on the 11th and can finally install the granite tile countertops.
Once the kitchen is back in order, we'll be able to lay the maple flooring that has been acclimating in our bedroom for 2 weeks. And assuming that doesn't take us more than 2 weeks, we might, JUST MIGHT have our house put back together by the time Paige and her family come visit in November.
Re-shuing is harder than I thought.

Happy Sucky Birthday Jade

September 27th started out poorly for Jade.
She woke up at 5:00 and drove 3 hours to the PDX airport with her parents. She then flew 2 hours to Salt Lake City and was greeted by family who had all but forgotten her birthday. And to top it off, she was notified by her step-dad the day before that her 2 cats (who are living with them temporarily) were thrown out of the main house and jailed in the guest room behind the garage due to another cat's distaste for them.
By the time I arrived in SLC that evening, ready to celebrate with Jade, she was already in bed because she didn't feel well.
Happy Fucking 24th Birthday Jadey!!

Today Is A Blur

I've been in overdrive since 6:00 this morning. We're pulling together the details of our trip to Salt Lake City and preparing to fly out at 5:30 this evening. Hope Grandma Alberta's 90th birthday is a hit.
I'll write when I get back.

Superdome

Am I way off base here or is it unacceptable that the Superdome has undergone a facelift while the rest of New Orleans sits in ruins?

Clinton Talks Back

I'm sure you've heard about this by now, but I had to share.
This is my favorite part:
"And you got that little smirk on your face and you think you’re so clever..."

Girl's Night

I went to a girl's night on Saturday that was guaranteed to be a lot of fun but I didn't expect it to be this crazy.

MRI

Logic called me from work last week to say he'd lost his vision for nearly 2 minutes while on the phone with a customer. I rushed to his office and took him to the doctor. They scheduled an MRI for the next day. I freaked out. In my mind, once a Hodgkins patient, always a Hodgkins patient. I feared the worst.
We got to the hospital at 7:3o on Thursday night. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. Probably because I'd had 3 in the E.R. within the last year. The MRI tech was amazing. He talked Justin through the entire thing, and in between scans, spent the majority of his downtime conversing with me.
We left the hospital at 10 that night and I didn't sleep well. I had a mini meltdown in front of Logic (which I was trying to avoid). In typical reverse fashion, he calmed me down.
We spent the weekend acting like everything was okay. Not mentioning it once.
Monday morning rolled around and we went back to the doctor for the MRI results.
Every minute that ticked by reaffirmed my fears. I became increasingly anxious. And then. Then the song "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" came on in the waiting room.
Memories of an ex boyfriend flashed in front of me. An ex boyfriend whom I cared a great deal for. And who died at the tender age of 17 in a car crash. You see, that was our song. At first I thought it might be a sign that Logic would soon be leaving me too. But Aaron reassured me that it was his way of trying to comfort me.
Thank you Aaron. I miss you.

*the MRI came back normal.

Chemo Limo

Having married into a family where cancer is not out of the ordinary, I think I have a pretty good grasp on what it's like to go through chemotherapy. I hope to never know more than I do now.
From what I've seen, chemo is a test of a person's strenth of mind and body. It makes or breaks your spirit. And even years after chemo (and radiation) the recipient typically has related health issues.
So when I heard a song called Chemo Limo by Regina Spektor it sparked my imagination. What if there WAS such a thing as a chemo limo? What if cancer patients were able to have their chemo treatment in the back of a limosine? Or better yet, at a spa?
Sure, they'd have a catheter or I.V. dripping their cocktail into their bloodstream, but they'd also be getting a foot massage, or a facial. Wouldn't that be a great alternative to watching Mama's Family on a 1980's t.v.?

An Open Letter To Faith Hill

Dear Faith,
Being the kind of person that radiates off the cd/movie screen/tv as you do, I can only imagine you receive letters like this frequently. But as overstated as it may be, I have to let you know that I give you credit for getting me through the winter of 2005.
Your cd "Fireflies" was a security blanket for me when I was adjusting to a new life as an anxiety sufferer. In fact, I'm surprised the cd still plays. I found "Fireflies" and "A Wish For You" to be especially comforting and often played them on repeat during panic attacks. It was by the grace of you that I was able to calm down long enough to understand how to help myself through them.
Thank you,
Me

G Rated Ideas

I have a knack for helping people. It's not something I am quite comfortable with yet. Afterall, I am the world's one-and-only extrovert who shies away from opening up to people. That's another blog in itself, but for today I'll broaden this a bit and just say that being a Libra has given me the insight to see other people for who they are and give them what they show me that they need. I have a lot of fun "reading" people whether they are friends or strangers but when it comes to showing them who I am I tend to cower away.
But there is one thing I've learned to really enjoy. Helping people come up with ideas for gifts/party themes/romantic scenarios. I like putting myself in place of the recipient and exploring unique ideas that I think that person would like.
If only I could earn a living doing it.

Happy Birthday Paige

You say it's your birthday
It's my birthday too--yeah
They say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.

Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party
Yes we're going to a party party.

I would like you to dance--Birthday
Take a cha-cha-cha-chance-Birthday
I would like you to dance--Birthday
Dance

You say it's your birthday
Well it's my birthday too--yeah
You say it's your birthday
We're gonna have a good time
I'm glad it's your birthday
Happy birthday to you.



I love you sister!

Not Too Shabby

I logged onto msnbc.com this morning and was reminded of Meredith Vieira's first day on The Today Show. Being a big fan of Katie Couric, I wasn't sure how much I would enjoy seeing someone take her place. But I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised.
I've only been able to see clips of the first hour of the show, but from what I witnessed, Meredith seems to be a good fit. Not only does she have the expertise, but she is strong and tender, funny and serious. I look forward to seeing more of her on the show.

Max

A few weeks ago when Logic and I went camping in Cle Elum we had a really nice time. The location wasn't as secluded as we would have liked, but the scenery was beautiful and the hiking trails were ideal.
Because Molly and I didn't have the time to plan a trip of our own, we accepted an offer to meet up with another group and basically mooch off of their planned trip. (I've explained most of this before, but I'm just giving you a refresher...)
Anyway, at the campsite there were a total of about 15 people. Only 5 of which I knew. So the next day when Molly, Jeff, Logic and I decided to go for a hike we offered to include the rest of the group. Liz (our other friend) joined us while her fiancee slept off his hangover. As we were loading into the truck Max asked if he could come too. We obliged and set off toward Salmon La Sac.
Once there, we hiked 3 miles to a clearing that opened to the Cle Elum River. Tired and thirsty, we decided to stop and relax. The next thing we know Max is up the stream, in his boxer briefs.
This might sound fascinating to you, but to us it was quite traumatic. Max is not the Adonis that he would be in my imagination. No, he is a middle aged man with a fairly tubby figure. And a lot of conspicuous hair.
Not only did he act as if this was completely normal, but he continued to one-up himself by getting his light grey undies completely wet and then electing to keep his clothes off during the 3 mile trek back to the truck.
That was odd enough, but once we got back to the campsite we discovered that no one actually knew Max.

Hootenanny

Ever heard that word before? It's in the dictionary. Hootenanny refers to a social gathering involving folk music and is sometimes used to describe a thingamabob. But in my house hootenanny was what we called a breakfast dish that my mom made. Hootenanny pancakes were really good, but the word drove me crazy.
In retrospect I think it was during a time when everything my mom said or did was considered the ultimate in irritation to me. Whether it was the way she combed her hair or the clothes she wore - she was ripped apart nearly everyday by her bitchy darling little daughter. So when it came to some of the phrases that were a part of her vernacular/Midwest accent there was no exception. Brad instead of bread, davenport instead of couch... I could go on.
Hootenanny pancakes were just another example of my distaste for everything "mom". It got to the point where I would throw a fit whenever the word was said and I claimed to hate it more than anything else in the world.
In recent years a lot has changed in my life. Mostly, I grew up. I became aware of the fleeting reality of life and the importance of the loved once I share it with. And most importantly, I've learned that my mom is one of the coolest people I'll ever know.
Honestly we don't have much in common, but that doesn't matter. I learn from her and she learns from me. And we both love each other enough to continue to work at our relationship.
One of the realities of life is the probability that I will outlive my mom. But at least I will have the joy of remembering her whenever someone describes a folk festival or tries to explain a thingamabob.

Pleasures

Any help with this would be greatly appreciated ~
I'm going to a girl's night party next Saturday night and everyone is supposed to bring a gift. The theme is 'pleasure' and I want to be creative. Since I'm not creative, I want YOU to be creative. ;)
The examples that were given were: wine, movies, coloring books - whatever floats your boat.
So far I've ruled out cozy pajamas because I'd hate to get something too small for the recipient. Candles and bathsoaps are okay - but overdone.
And music is so personal.
HELP!

Tired of Coming to This Site Just to Find Out I've Been Slacking?

Since I tend to blog sporatically, I thought I'd introduce you to bloglines. You can subscibe to my blog and it will notify you when I submit a post.
That way you won't have to miss a single blog. (Could I get any more narcissistic?)

Amaya

Willow and Lach tend to distract me at work. Yes, I said it. I'm completely helpless to the instant messages that they include me in. So it shouldn't come as a surprise when I tell you that my work tends to flounder on Mondays, Fridays and all the days in between.
I love the talks we have. Some are a bit randy but most are inspiring. We tend to talk about our lives, our partners, our jobs, and sometimes we throw out scenarios of made-up situations.
For instance, a few months back I mentioned a silly story I made up to go along with my yahoo avatar.
See, I found an avatar dress that looked like a kimono and a background that showed a red carpet stretched out to greet a white limosine. So I imagined that I was a movie star at a movie premiere in Tokyo. The movie was about a secret service agent who was on the tail of a serial killer hiding in the Congo.
I wasn't sure how they were going to react to my story. After all, my imagination can sometimes be too much for people. But I was suprised to find them both joining in. It was so fun! We came up with names for our characters and threw out ideas regarding the script.
My character, the protagonist, was named Amaya which means "night rain". Her hunt through the Congo wasn't only a search for a killer, but also for her identity. She spent months rushing through groves and sleeping in caves with only her bodyguard for company.
This is where Lach comes into play. She is an elite bodyguard who spent years in the military and protects her clients with a ruthless abandon. And Willow, the vice president of the United States who plays an elusive role in the drama.
We got so wrapped up in the story that we started to organize script meetings and talk about how we would spend time at home working on our parts.
It never happened with our busy lives and all. But it convinced me that writing should be a part of my life. It was the inspiration for this blog. AND my name.

A Tribute

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. A beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor? I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you. I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you. So, let's make the most of this beautiful day. Since we're together we might as well say. Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won't you be my neighbor?"

I used to start my mornings with Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and continue to find great solace in that song. Oh, Mr. Rogers, you are missed.

R.O.U.S.

[after Westley rescues her from the lightning quicksand]
Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
[Immediately, an R.O.U.S. attacks him]

~quote curtosy of imdb.com
~photo curtosy of www.lifesciences.asu.edu

Salt Water Taffy

Funny how some memories just pop into your head randomly.
I was 8 and we were living in Council. I went to the warm springs near our town with my 2nd grade class. I remember sitting on a hot vynil bus seat in my swimsuit and towel. Water dripping down my back from my wet hair. The sun shining on my face. And I was eating a green apple square of salt water taffy from the concession stand.

Former Rap Fan

I used to love rap. I loved the beats, the flow.. It was rebellious and raw and it made me feel powerful. I would spend my measly paycheck on Tupac, Nas, Jay-Z and Biggie; I would hole up in my bedroom and put my favorite songs on repeat. Looking back, rap music defined my teens.
In an effort to reconnect with that sense of defiance I occasionally try to listen to what's out there today. Sadly, it doesn't take long for me to get frustrated and change it to an Alt Rock station. (Who knows, maybe Alt Rock is the new rap? The place where artists go to speak their minds and express themselves without having their lyrics all rhyme with cock?)
At first I thought this might be part of the transition into adult-hood. First comes the sporadic yelling of "damn kids" as you're cut off by a new Lexus SUV with a 16 year old driver. Then you lose your taste for rap music. But I'm starting to think it's not me... It's the rap. The shock has worn off and it's faltering.
It's not just about the beats - which have, in my opinion, grown weak and generic, but the lyrics have changed from protest to degradation. Here's an example of what I used to listen to compared to what's out there now:

Tupac - Hold Ya Head (1997)

"How do we keep the music playing
How do we get ahead
To many young black brothers are dying
Living Fast, too fast

These felonies be like prophecies
Begging me to stop
Cuz These lawyers getting money
Everytime they knock us
Slashing pockets lyrically
Suckas fleed when they notice
Switched my name to Makaveli
Had the rap game closed
Expose foes, with my hocus pocus flows
They froze
Now suckas idealize my choosen Blows
More money mean litigating
More Playa hating
Got a cell at the penn for me waiting
Is this my fate
Miss me with that mistermeaner thinking
Me fall back
Never That
Too much Tequilla drinking
We all that
Make them understand me
Hey I'll stay all night out with my Posse
Everyone roll with me is family
Cuz everybodies got me
Watch me paint a perfect vision
This life we living
Got us all meeting up in Prison
Last week I got a letter from my road dog
Written in Blood
Saying, "Please show a young playa love"
Hold your head
Hold it"



50 Cent - Fat Bitch (2002)

"I'll say something nice about ya eyes, cause you's a big bitch man
Yeah, It's nothin' but a little baby phat phat
Them Entenmann's dun got your ass fat fat
Them Little Debbie's dun got your ass fat fat
These cup cakes dun got your ass fat fat
Yeah, It's nothin' but a little baby phat phat

[Tony Yayo]
I ain't no trick, I ain't have to borrow with my wallet
Freakin' off in your car, on your closet
It ain't nothing wrong wit a big, strong girl
If you can cook your ass off, I'll give you the world
You can be skinny or fat, white or black
Nigga pussy is pussy so, yeah, I'll hit that
I'm a freak, sure I love minage a trois
And I really care lees if you twice my size

Don't be stuck on the things they say
now you know it's a nasty world ' It's a nasty world
I ain't fuckin wit you anyway
cause I know your a nasty girl - You's a nasty girl
I ain't never gon discriminate, so let me compliment your eyes

I'm a compliment your eyes
Yayo'll fuck wit you big bitches but I'm a stay the fuck away from ya

Them Twinkies got your ass gettin' fat fat
Them cookies got your ass gettin' fat fat
That cake got your ass gettin' fat fat
Bitch you grown, that ain't baby fat fat

Stay the fuck away from, you fuckin fat bitch
Fuck wit Tony Yayo, ho"

Granted, this is just an example of what's out there now. And to be fair, rappers have always talked about women. But it seems the fight that was once in rap has buried it's head in shame.

~I would like to make a point of discluding Hip Hop from this article. In my opinion, Hip Hop still has it's raw edge and artistry.